Everything had gone remarkably well in the aftermath. The Vice department’s timing had been incredibly lucky, despite the fact that they hadn’t had any idea they were butting into an ongoing undercover investigation. They’d had a report of a huge shipment of heroine being smuggled through the Institute and had come to break up the party. In the process they had nabbed Berkley and his Babygirl slash lab assistant Mandy, as well as all the makings of a first-class Please lab.
Also, thanks to Berkley’s need to have the final say while he was recording what he hoped would be a steamy sex show by my partner and I, we’d gotten his complete confession on tape. The Director of the Institute was going away for a very long, long time and Mandy was headed up the river too.
Things really couldn’t have worked out better—except for the distance that the whole sorry situation had put between me and my partner. I had tried to reach out to him several times—though it hurt my pride to do so—but he always rebuffed me. I thought he might hate me now for all the sick things we’d been forced to do together and to each other while we were playing “Papa” and “mishka” but I couldn’t help wishing I might be wrong.
Still, so far Salt was giving me no indication that my guess wasn’t correct. He wouldn’t touch me, wouldn’t look at me, and would barely speak to me. I didn’t want to let him know how much that hurt so I tried to keep it to myself, tried to tell myself that things would get better between us. But when? It had been two weeks—how long would it take for us to get back to normal? A month? A year?
As if you really wanted to go back to normal, whispered a little voice in my brain. What you want is what you can never have again—to be Salt’s Babygirl and hear him call you “mishka” one more time. To know that your “Papa” still loves you.
I tried to push the voice away. It was all stupid bullshit—everything we had been forced to do together was just for show, I told myself. And it wasn’t like I had actually enjoyed any of it. I was just as glad to get away from the crazytown environment of the Institute as Salt probably was. Right?
Right, I told myself firmly. And Salt will come around eventually and then everything will go back to normal.
I hoped.
“Fine,” I said stiffly, looking away from my partner and standing to go. “Is that all, Captain? Can we go now?”
“I’m afraid not.” The Captain sounded extremely uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, Sugarbaker, but there’s one more thing I need to touch on before we wrap this up.”
“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s that?
“It’s the fact that Detective Saltanov has asked for…for…”
“A new partner,” Salt finished for him.
“What? What did you say?” I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. Literally—all the breath left my lungs and I couldn’t seem to fill them again. I had been standing, ready to leave the Captain’s office. Now I sank back down on the hard wooden chair and looked at Salt.
He stared back at me, his face a mask I couldn’t read.
“I am sorry, Andi, but it must be this way,” he said.
“I…” I didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t have hurt me more if he’d pulled out a gun and shot me—that was how painful his betrayal was. “So you’re leaving,” I whispered before I could stop myself. “Dumping me like every other man in my life. Leaving just like my—” Somehow I caught myself and managed to stop there but not before I saw the pain flash in Salt’s eyes.
“I am sorry,” he said earnestly, his tone a little softer. “But I feel that after what I did—”
“No, no—please. No explanation necessary,” I said briskly. Inside I felt like dying but I had shown enough weakness already. It was time to pull myself together.
“Andi—”
“You’ve finally had enough of me—just like the other two partners the Captain tried to put me with,” I said stiffly. “I understand, Salt—really I do. It was just a matter of time.”