“If you say so.” I shook my head again. “But I honestly can’t see it.” I pushed my plate away. “I’ve lost my appetite. Could you please just show me the costumes I’m going to have to wear?” Might as well get all the bad stuff out of the way.
“Of course.” Stevens pushed away his own half eaten sandwich and nodded at me. “If you’d like to come into the other room?”
I followed him back to the living room, where he’d left the drycleaning bag and Salt came as well, like a silent, ominous mountain at my back.
“Now,” Stevens said, opening the bag. “I have several choices for you. And it all depends on what age you want to regress to.”
“Seriously? I have to pick a certain age?”
“Makes sense,” Salt said, surprising me. “Is necessary to know the age to tell what mannerisms to use.”
“I guess so,” I grumbled. “Well, show me what you’ve got and tell me what age it goes with.”
“All right. Well, starting from the bottom…” Stevens pulled out a pink ruffled jumpsuit that looked like something a young girl would wear except it was in my size.
“Eww!” I protested. “Tell me again how this isn’t about pedophilia, Stevens? Because how can it not be when you want me to wear something like that?”
“It has nothing to do with pedophilia because the Age Players are not interested in children—only each other,” he explained patiently. “Regressing to this age allows the Babygirl to be almost completely nonverbal. She’ll get naps, have bottles, and be rocked to sleep by her Daddy. Being held in the strong, warm arms of a man who loves her and will never hurt her—there’s nothing sexual about that. It’s all about comfort.”
“Still,” I said. “I’m not wearing that. Option number two, please.”
“All right.” He pulled out a blue checked party-type dress, again with lots of ruffles and lace. It looked like something an eight or nine year old girl might wear to a fancy party.
“Nope,” I said at once. “Still too young. God, this is gross.”
“Consider it before you turn it down,” Stevens urged. “At this age, you get to be Daddy’s little princess. You’ll sit on his lap a lot and be taken out to the zoo and the park and any Disney movies that might be playing. Your Daddy will cut up your meat for you at dinner and check under the bed for monsters before tucking you in. It’s rather nice, actually.”
“Rather sick, you mean,” I said. “No. I’m not doing that age.”
“All right…” He sighed. “Well, I do have one more option for you, Detective Sugarbaker. Here.”
The last outfit he pulled out looked like a school uniform with a white blouse and a short—a very short—red and black plaid skirt.
“At this age,” Stevens said. “You’re a rebellious tween or teenager. Actually…” He looked thoughtful. “This might be the best age for you to play. Sassing and bratting would be almost expected—it would fit your, ah, personality nicely.”
“If you’re trying to say I’m a bitch because I speak my mind, save it,” I said shortly. “I know exactly what most of the guys at the PD think of me and I don’t give a good Goddamn.”
“No, I was just saying—”
“Whatever.” I waved his halfhearted protests aside. “Look, don’t you have anything between Daddy’s Little Princess and Slutty Schoolgirl?”
“I’m afraid not,” Stevens said apologetically. “Did you have another age in mind to regress to? If so, I can try to find—”
“This one.” Salt pointed to the plaid skirt and white blouse combo. “This one will fit you the best, Andi.”
Somehow I knew he wasn’t just talking about the size.
“All right, fine,” I said, grabbing it from Stevens’ hands. “I’ll wear it.”
“Try it on first,” the professor said. “You need to get used to wearing it and practice the mannerisms that go with it.”