“The way I figure, it’s like nuclear waste. You know how those spent fuel rods are all used up but still radioactive and will be for another thousand or something years? It’s the same situation.”
Lita nodded in agreement.
“The only thing is,” Ross said, “it’s not consistent; it’s not predictable. Logically, the people closest to the body should be the most affected. But it doesn’t seem to work that way. It’s random. Even the effects vary in a non-patterned way.”
“My cousin the engineer,” Lita said, smiling.
“It’s something we have to consider,” Dave admitted.
Lita put a hand on the handyman’s shoulder. She nodded toward the shower. “I understand if you don’t want to—”
He pulled away, offended. “Don’t want to what? Do my job?”
“It’s just those things in the water...”
But he’d put on his gloves and was already shoving the cable down the drain. He plugged in the motor, started it up and fed the snake into the pipe. Black gunk bubbled up, obscuring the swimmers and filling the room with a foul odor far worse than that of the kitchen sink in the Big House. Seconds later, the water began to drain, and in moments the shower stall was empty save for a thin layer of black silt on the tiles. McDaniels turned on the shower and washed the residue down the drain, letting the water run for a few minutes to make sure everything was clear. Turning off the water, he shook his head. “I just don’t understand where this stuff’s coming from,” he said. “This ain’t an open system. You got a septic tank, and all your drain pipes lead to the main line, which goes there.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t even want to think about what’s in that septic tank.”
Ross stared at the shower nervously, then looked over at the sink and the toilet. He felt uneasy. What if he was shaving and something came out of the sink? Or, even worse, if he was taking a dump…
He pushed the thought from his mind.
“You want me to call Fred Hanson, have him come out here and vacuum out your tank? Just in case?”
Both Dave and Lita nodded. “Sounds like a good idea,” Dave said.
“I’ll ask him if he’s come across anything else like this lately. Anybody’s likely to know, it’s Fred.”
“In the meantime?” Lita asked him.
“Keep your eyes open.” He gestured toward the toilet. “And, I was you, do your business quickly.”
He picked up his equipment and headed outside, the three of them following. “So how much do we owe you?” Dave asked.
“I don’t know. Ten bucks?”
“Ten dollars? Come on, I know it’s more than that.”
“I told you, that angel’s been good to me. I’m gonna have more money than I know what to do with. And if you can’t use your good fortune to help out your friends…” He held up a hand as Dave took out his wallet. “In fact, this one’s on the house. I know Fred’ll charge you up the yingyang for scoopin’ out your poop hole, so just consider this one a freebie.”
“Hold on a second,” Lita said. She ran into the house and hurried back moments later with two jars of honey. “Here. We’ll barter instead of pay.”
McDaniels grinned. “You know I won’t turn down free honey.”
“Then it’s a deal,” Dave said. “You want some more? Because—”
“No, this is plenty. Thankya.” The handyman lifted his snake motor onto the back of the pickup.
“You’re a good man,” Lita said.
The handyman smiled widely. “I am, ain’t I?” He finished packing up and walked around to the driver’s side of the cab. “I’ll call Fred as soon as I get back.”
“Thanks again,” Dave said. “Appreciate it.”
Ross announced that he was going to feed the chickens and check for eggs, and both Dave and Lita said they’d come with him. To the surprise of all, the birds were acting perfectly normal, and, just as surprising, they collected nearly three dozen eggs—all of which appeared to be normal as well. Dave went to check on his bees, and Ross followed Lita over to where the goat and her horse were penned up. Again, there was nothing unusual to be seen. It was as if the past few weeks had never happened.
“Honey!” Dave announced from the other side of the house. “We have honey!”
“Maybe whatever it was seeped into our pipes instead,” Lita speculated. “Maybe the ground’s clean now.”
It made no logical sense, but then nothing made much sense these days, which meant it was just as valid an explanation as anything else. For some reason, Ross was reminded of a Dr. Seuss book, The Cat in the Hat Comes Back, where a red ring around a bathtub transfers from object to object until it ends up contaminating all of the snow outside of the children’s house.