Damn, he really is good. Somehow, James has actually managed to get Amy to let a little bit of her guard down. My money says that James has his work cut out for him when it comes to winning over Amy's affections, but the man has for sure managed to put a few small cracks in her iron-clad wall of grudge-holding and never-ending stubbornness.
After a few more displays of drunken hilarity on the karaoke stage, I notice Amy look down at her phone. She glances up at me and a huge grin spreads across her face. Her fingers are quickly typing out a text message, and once she hits send, she rests back in her seat, takes a swig of her beer, and seems to have a smug look about her.
"What's going on over there, dickhead?" My eyebrow is quirked at her.
"Nothing you need to be concerned about, sweet cheeks." Her eyes are amused, and I get the feeling that she's hiding something from me. I know Amy almost better than I know myself, and believe me, I know when this chick is trying to keep something from me.
"You didn't start another online Twitter relationship with a fictional character, did you?" My fingers are peeling the label off of my beer bottle as I slyly glance up at Amy.
She slams her beer bottle on the table, foam dripping from the top. "Shut up, asshole! First of all, I thought we agreed to never talk about that little mishap again, and secondly, NO, I have not. I learned my fucking lesson the first time."
Lizzy is looking at Amy with curiosity on her face. "Online Twitter relationship with a fictional character? I need details. I really, really need details."
"Well—" I start to say before Amy curtly cuts me off by slapping her hand over my mouth.
"We agreed. End of discussion. You talk about it, and I swear I will shove this beer bottle straight up your ass," she says with far too much attitude while giving me a pointed stare.
Lizzy and I start laughing at Amy's very serious demeanor. She's now glowering at us, completely pissed off that I even brought it up, but I couldn't help myself. That has got to be one of the funniest situations I've ever seen my best friend a part of. Yes, Amy fell in love with a fictional book character on Twitter and proceeded to have a two-month love affair through tweets, direct messages, and emails. The book character was a guy named Grant Evans. The book is Love & Forgiveness by E.M. Marks. Fantastic book, by the way. I wish I could let you in on this little story, but Amy would quite literally cut off my right labia if I spilled the beans.
Well, I guess a few more details wouldn't hurt anyone…
Amy and her online fictional book boyfriend were going strong and quite possible in some sort of fictional relationship on Twitter. They were an item. She was incessantly messaging, emailing, and sending him tweets throughout her day, until her fictional book boyfriend's mother sent her a nasty email…
Come to find out, Amy's love interest was actually a sixteen-year-old boy who started a Twitter account for a book character he knew about from reading one of his mother's smutty romance novels. Yes, the entire ordeal was quite traumatic for my dear friend, Amy, but unquestionably one of the funniest things I've ever heard. In her defense, the kid knew his book character, and I'm pretty sure he had that romance novel memorized.
I can't avoid the fact that Amy is still glowering at me. I choose to raise my hands in the air, indicating that I'm throwing the white flag and I'll keep my mouth shut on this topic. Amy turns back towards the bar to let Johnny know we could use a few more beers at our table. I make eye contact with Lizzy and mouth, "I'll tell you later." She quickly smiles and winks at me before Amy is facing us again. Amy glances back and forth between my sister and me, making sure we've really stopped talking about her ex-fictional book boyfriend. She didn't seem to notice our little exchange, and for that I'm extremely thankful. I think she would have honestly attempted the whole beer-bottle-up-the-ass maneuver.
Johnny drops a few beers off at the table, and his dimples are standing out from the giant smile on his face. "You guys are going to love this next…singer." He looks directly at me. I'm a little creeped out right now. Johnny isn't one to dish the smiles around, and when he's flashing his dimples, something is going on. The last time he flashed those cute little dimples at me, I had to stand on top of the bar while he serenaded me with She's a Jolly Good Fellow. It wasn't my birthday. I'm obviously not a fellow, and Johnny loved every second of embarrassing me in front of the entire bar.
"Stop being so weird, Johnny. You're creeping Ellie out," Amy quickly says before flicking her wrist, indicating for him to leave our table. She's such a bitch sometimes, but right now, I'm more than appreciative.