I hear my phone ringing loudly from my purse. “Leah, it was so nice to meet you! I hope we can do this again really soon!”
“You too, Ellie! Get my number from Trent so you can call me, and I'll give away all of my little brother's secrets and most embarrassing stories.” Leah gives a smile and light wave before I leave the kitchen to go grab my phone from my purse.
I take a quick phone call from Amy. She just wants to know if I am going to come back to the apartment tonight or stay at Trent's. I guess she and Lizzy have an entire night planned of Chinese take-out and sappy romantic comedies. I'm happy they have become really good friends.
I've felt extremely guilty at times since Lizzy moved in. I've been so wrapped in Trent over the past several weeks, spending the majority of my time with him, and I kind of feel like I haven't really been there for Lizzy.
She's going through so much with everything between her and her husband, Matt. She's in a foreign city and most of her friends and family are still back in Louisville. The guilt was building up, and finally last night, I had dinner with her in hopes that I could make up for all of the times I've felt like I've let her down. She reassured me that everything is okay, that she's actually happy here in Charlotte, and she's been using this time away from Louisville to find herself again.
Lizzy has started taking online classes through a local college; she has dreams of finishing her teaching degree. She's also shown a big interest in working out at a nearby gym. Ryder, her personal trainer, is beyond delicious. Someone that good-looking should not be allowed to walk around in a gym all day flexing his muscly biceps, making women cream their panties. Because seriously…he's that fucking good-looking. I'm not sure how Lizzy is managing to get through her training sessions without dry humping his leg. Amy and I got to meet him tonight at the gym after our hot yoga class. Let's just say I had a hard time convincing Amy to leave.
After I end my conversation with Amy, I start heading back into the kitchen, but I stop when I overhear Trent and Leah still Skyping.
“So things with you and Elle seem pretty serious?”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that… I love her, Leah. I really do.”
“Wow… I never thought I would hear those words come out of my little brother's mouth.”
Trent lets out a small laugh. “I know. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth either. My career has always been my focus, and I couldn't have given two shits about getting into a relationship, but she's just so perfect… I can't wait for you to meet her in person.”
“What about Seattle? Dad told me University Hospital has made you a big offer. Head of Trauma Surgery. That's a huge deal, Trent.”
Head of University Seattle's Trauma Surgery? Oh my god.
Just hearing Leah say that has my stomach turned up in knots, and I have the urge to run to his bathroom and vomit. I start to hear Trent's voice giving Leah a response, but I just can't do it. I just can't eavesdrop into their conversation. I quickly walk into his bedroom, away from hearing distance, because I definitely can't hear what he's going to say to Leah. I just…can't.
I'm a fucking chicken shit and more than aware of this. I'm just too scared to hear him say he's taking University Seattle's offer.
I mean, who wouldn't accept their offer?
Why in the hell would he refuse an offer like that to stay in Charlotte to play house with his girlfriend?
A girlfriend he's known all of two months…
Push it down. Way…way down.
Fuck my life and my shitty, shitty way of handling things. If I had some god damn balls, I'd just ask him straight up what his plan is. But, no. I'm a flaky, fickle, chicken shit.
Someone just go ahead and smack me.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“It's okay to break down. Pent-up emotion will find its way out no matter how hard you fight it. So don't fight it. Cry. Scream. Be angry. Let the grief come out. Don't put up walls. Don't hold back, because holding back will only get you…nowhere.”
I pull into my designated parking spot near my apartment and put my Mustang in park without cutting the engine. My mood is somber. Devastation and defeat are creeping through my thoughts. I glance at the clock and see that it's already midnight. Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails is blaring through my speakers as I watch raindrops slowly drip down the window shield. My mood is falling deeper into the black abyss. The combination of music and rain is only taking me further.
My sixteen-hour shift in the ER ended with several victims of a highway auto accident coming in by squad. Four compact cars and one semi-truck were involved. One of the victims was a three-year-old boy who had been in the backseat of his mother's car. A beautiful blue-eyed, brown-haired baby named Tommy who happened to be sitting on the side of the car that took most of the impact. Tommy's injuries were critical, and when I left the hospital, Trent was still in the OR with him.