"What?! Did they walk in on you two? Oh my god, did the pastor find you with your dick out in his daughter's room?!" This story is getting better by the second.
"Not exactly. I had time to throw on my pants, but I was so nervous that I forgot to take the condom off—"
"You left the condom on? The condom that was filled with your teenage spooge?!"
He lets out a husky laugh. "Uh, yeah, I had a very uncomfortable thirty-minute conversation with her pastor father about random bullshit that I can't even remember, and the condom that was in fact filled with my teenage spooge was still on." He looks over at me and smirks.
"Oh my god! That is hilarious!" I'm laughing at the mere idea of this entire jizz-filled condom fiasco.
Shaking his head and running a hand through his hair, he says, "Yeah, I know. Not one of my best moments, yet I can definitely see the hilarity in it. That condom stayed on until I got home. After I ate dinner with my parents."
Laughter is bursting from my lips; I clutch my stomach in pure merriment.
Trent gives me a minute or two to calm my jovial ass down before saying, "All right, all right. Enough laughter at my expense. Let's here yours." He gets off at the exit that leads to my apartment.
"Oh god. Mine might be worse."
"Then I definitely need to hear this," he demands with an intrigued tone to his voice.
"Okay.” I take a deep breath and then tell him all about Billy…
“I was sixteen and it was prom night. My boyfriend's name was Billy. Things were getting hot and heavy in my friend Tonya's room. We were spending the night at her parent's house. They were, of course, out of town. Cliché I know, but I was sixteen. So I was all prepared to let Billy pop my little cherry and then we realized we forgot one very important thing—a condom."
Grinning over at Trent, I continue on with my story. "Billy drove us to the nearest gas station. It was when he started to get out of the car that I realized he was only wearing boxers, a t-shirt, and socks. No shoes, no pants…" Trent starts chuckling. "I sat in the car patiently like any teenage girl who's waiting to get thrusted for the first time would, and I waited and waited and waited. Fifteen minutes went by, and I started to get a little concerned. How damn long did it take to purchase condoms? What in the hell was he buying in there? Then Billy came sprinting out of the gas station, tossed the box of condoms to me, and hopped his shoeless ass in the car, peeling out of the parking lot like a mad man. I remember sitting in the car thinking, What the fuck is going on? So I asked him why he was driving like his dick is on fire and he said it was because he'd forgotten his wallet...”
Trent glances over at me and raises his brow. "Forgot his wallet?"
I sigh and finish the story. "Yeah, he forgot his wallet, so he stole the condoms."
"He stole the condoms! Let me get this straight. He had no shoes, no pants, and he STOLE the condoms?!" Trent's chortles are now full belly laughs.
"Yes." My face flushes a little with embarrassment. "You have it straight. That was the infamous night that Ellen James lost her virginity."
"Holy shit! Yours is definitely worse than mine." Trent pulls into the parking lot, still laughing like an idiot, now at my expense.
"All right, all right. That's enough. I'm well aware that is one of the most ridiculous virginity loss stories ever." I give him a pointed stare, letting him know to knock off the laughter.
He winks at me and pats my thigh. "I'm done...for now. I can't make promises that I won't laugh about that one later."
"Preferably when I'm not around," I say with a roll of my eyes.
He parks the truck in a designated spot in front of my apartment and cuts the engine. "You want me to come inside or do you have to get ready for work?"
"I wish I could take you to work with me." I unbuckle my seatbelt and scoot closer to his side. "But you might as well just go on home. I have to get ready for work, and I'm sure Amy is going to berate me with questions about our weekend."
"A fucking fantastic weekend." He brushes the hair out of my eyes and places his palm on my cheek. "Thanks for staying with me."
"Thanks for having me. And I agree, we had a fucking fantastic weekend. Emphasis on the fucking." I give him a sarcastic smile.
"Yes, smartass, a whole lot of emphasis on the fucking." He laughs lightly before leaning in and giving me a sloppy, wet kiss that ends with him licking the side of my face.
"Oh my god! Stop licking me, weirdo!" I act exasperated, but I secretly enjoy his sense of humor and ability to constantly make me smile.