“How about tomorrow? We meet at Atticus Bookstore, have some coffee and then I’ll show you around Yale,” she said excitedly.
“Sure, why not.” I smiled, content at her confidence.
“I’ll even give you your present,” I teased.
“Give it to me now!” she held out her hand.
“Fine!” I reached into my purse and took out a card. She laughed.
“Oh, all I get is a card,” she mocked, but her smile disappeared the moment she opened it and found a prepaid credit card.
“I want to make sure you have everything you need,” I smiled.
“Addie, you coming here was my present. I don't want money from you. I’m tired of taking all your money. It’s just you I want to spend time with,” she said quietly.
“I'm here now and I’ll be here whenever you want. I'm not going anywhere. Use the card to come home, use the card to get whatever you want.” I took her hand and held it. “I love you, you little shit,” I winked. I missed calling her that. I hadn’t been able to since she left.
Ted made sure the bill was charged to Daimon and drove us to her dorm.
“I’ll be there around eleven, okay?” I said to Sofia as she got out of the car.
“Okay, eleven tomorrow at Atticus.” She waved. I watched her go inside, disappearing into the crowd of students who shared her dorm.
I spent the rest of the night hating myself for being resentful that Sofia was considering medical school. I loved my little sister more than anything in the world, but I felt a sense of betrayal. Had she chosen another field, I would still feel some envy, but she had chosen my dream and was now trying to achieve what I couldn’t fulfill myself. I berated myself for being so petty and small. I should be happy Sofia was chasing her dream, but as much as I told myself off, I still couldn’t move past how jealous I was. She now had freedom to experience things I only dreamt of. I gave up ten years of my life to the diner, losing time and a chance to live out my own life. I cried quietly, knowing I was truly a horrible person. How can I be jealous of her? This was what I wanted for her my little sister, yet I was resenting her for taking my place.
We left the café and headed to the campus. The architecture was amazing as each building brought out the various years it has been around, from the very old to the very modern. I completely fell in love with the Street Hall building with its old style. Students filled the campus grounds despite it being the holidays. Sofia didn’t stop until I saw every building. Each building we entered, she explained its history and purpose to me; I watched as she spoke; I could see it brought her a sense of accomplishment and happiness. While for me, each building only made it clearer how useless I was. Sofia was going to be someone. She was on the road to accomplishing her goals, while I became someone’s wife and nothing else. I had bankrupt our diner and had very little to show for myself. “Addie? Are you okay?” Sofia asked.
“Yeah, I’m great. It’s just overwhelming.” I smiled. “You better get your ass to New York your next break!” I pointed my finger at her.
“Okay, I promise,” she relented. We hugged and kissed, promising to Skype the moment I got home. Sofia kept waving as Ted drove us off back to Manhattan. I sat in the car reexamining my life and the hard decisions ahead of me.
Unwelcomed Visitor
Daimon didn’t return home until early morning of New Year’s Eve. I hadn’t planned anything for New Year’s, still feeling sorry for myself from my visit with Sofia. He barely said two words to me as he walked in, making me feel even worse. Once he finished with his shower, Daimon came down and took a bottle of water out of the fridge.
“How was Sofia?” he asked, leaning against the counter.
“Fine,” I bit out angrily.
“Addie, are you okay?” he narrowed his eyes at me.
“I’m fine,” I hissed as I played with Drako.
“Just fucking tell me what’s wrong,” he barked.
“She’s doing great! All right! Better then great,” I shouted. “She’s getting honors and living her life. She’s going to get a career, the very one I wanted for myself. While I'm nothing. I’ve done nothing, I’ve seen nothing. All I am is your hired help. I'm worthless and useless,” I berated myself, jealous of my own sister’s success. “I'm almost thirty and I'm envious of my own baby sister,” I laughed a little, knowing how absolutely ridiculous I sounded.
“You’re not useless and you’re not hired help. You did what you had to do to help your family. Not everyone could do that,” he said surprising me. “You’re one of the most amazing people I have ever met. No one would give up a chance of a lifetime to help her family. You gave up everything and not once looked back.” He marched over and peered down at me.