The Hunter(27)

I was working so hard on controlling my own breathing and heart rate that I hadn’t noticed him stop. I didn’t want to react in any way because every time I had allowed my body to react to him, it had seemed to gain a negative reaction from him. When we were not in close proximity, he was relaxed - good company even. We stood like that for what seemed an eternity and suddenly I felt his eyes on me. Look into his eyes. No, don’t - he might freak out. Stand up instead! No, don’t break the spell. WHAT DO I DO, DAMN IT!



I realized that my eyes had begun to move involuntarily. They shifted from the designs where they had rested, unfocussed and moved over his hand that was resting on the table below me. They slowly traveled up his forearm before my vision was obscured by his head. My eyes refocused on his face, so close to my own and I felt my head turning fractionally and found that I was looking straight into his eyes. Neither of us moved. His eyes widened fractionally and I saw his pupils dilate. I swallowed slowly and tried to concentrate on breathing and holding his gaze. Time seemed to stand still. Then, without warning, those beautiful eyes closed and I heard him take in a short, ragged breath. I panicked thinking that he would leave the room again. He can’t - you are in his office. Oh, I bet he could - his social skills aren’t great remember.



I desperately needed to re-establish some form of contact with him. But how? My instinct was to reach out to him, to cup his jaw with my hand. Don’t trust your instincts! Instead, I heard my voice before my brain registered what I was saying. “You feel it too, don’t you?” My voice was barely a whisper.



His eyes flicked open and his breath caught in his throat. He looked pained, like a cornered wild animal.



“Don’t you?” I said again, my voice a little stronger.



His eyes closed again and his features tensed. I knew that the spell was broken. I’ll be damned if you are going to bolt and leave me here! I leaned forwards slightly and rested my forehead against his. I felt his body stiffen before he abruptly turned away from me. The overwhelming feelings of rejection and humiliation made me feel nauseous.



“I’m sorry,” I muttered, “I can’t do this.” I took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly before straightening and turning towards the door. My legs felt like jelly and as I forced my feet to keep moving, I realized that I was in danger of bursting into tears. Just get out. Just keep walking. Just go!



I was reaching out for the door handle when I thought I heard his voice but it was so faint that I couldn‘t be sure. Don’t stop. Don’t turn around! As my hand grasped it, I thought I heard him say “Don’t go” but it was not much more than a whisper. It is inside your head. Don‘t humiliate yourself any more than you already have.” I took a deep breath and pushed down the handle. “Issy, wait!” That was definitely not inside my head. But it didn’t sound like him either. Every part of my body froze. I couldn’t walk out and I couldn’t turn around either.



I heard footsteps walking towards me and felt my heart begin to pound in my chest. Still, I couldn’t move. The footsteps stopped. I knew that he was behind me. “Don’t go,” he whispered and I felt his warm breath on my cheek. He really was right behind me. “Issy, please.”



I tried to turn around but my weak knees gave way and I sagged. His strong arms caught me and pulled me up and into his chest. I heard a single sob escape from my lips and I felt his arms tighten around me and his head gently come to rest on mine. He held me like that for several minutes - both of us standing like statues. I gradually began to feel the tension slipping away and I relaxed into his arms. I felt his grip on me loosen and I fully expected him to pull away from me. He didn’t. Instead, he began to slowly run his hand up and down my back. It felt so good … intimate but not sexual. I sighed contentedly as he continued to stroke my back softly.



“Better?” he murmured into my hair.



“Much. Thank you,” I whispered, amazed that I could think and speak clearly whilst we were touching. That’s a first!



“Oh Issy, what are you doing to me?” he said with feeling before he nuzzled further into my hair, inhaling deeply.



I wanted to ask him what he meant but I couldn’t believe how good I felt at that moment and I didn‘t want to say or do anything that might make him let go. I had never had close physical contact with a man that wasn’t totally sexual. I breathed in his scent and slowly nuzzled my face into his chest. I felt content just to stand like this, reveling in this new sensual but not sexual experience; more than that … I felt at peace, safe in his arms. I gingerly lifted my arms from my sides and wrapped them around him loosely.