"God." I laugh, shaking my head, even as heat licks up my thighs. "I've created a monster."
"Babe, you have no idea."
* * *
I should have known something was up as soon as James told me he was treating me to dinner at Lüke. He knows full well I love the desserts there, and become a content, purring pussycat after eating one.
But no, I'd been so distracted by my anticipation over said desserts that I let myself be lulled into a false sense of security.
"Look at you," James says, as we sit down at a tiny table by the window. "You're freaking glowing."
"It's a suntan." I scan the menu, bypassing the dinner section. "Oh, they have steamed chocolate tonight." Orgasm in the Form of Chocolate should be the dessert's formal title.
"No … It's not the suntan."
James peers at me for too long, and I fight the urge to raise my menu in front of my face. Instead, I return his stare with a bland expression. But it doesn't work. He suddenly beams.
"You fucked him!"
A table of older businessmen turns our way.
I glance at the men now snickering at us, give them a death glare that has them looking away, and then lean in to hiss at James. "Would you keep it down? I like this restaurant. And you cannot tell I had sex with Finn by looking at me."
"You just blushed bright red," James points out.
Fuck.
"All right, Miss Marple, I had sex with Finn. Can we eat now?"
"We don't have any food to eat yet. And if you're going to make me a Christie detective, make me Poirot."
"I knew you had a Poirot thing! With all those hats and bowties."
James gives me a level look. "Are you sure you aren't Miss Marple?"
"Truthfully, I'd love to live a Miss Marple life when I'm older. Settle down in a quaint English village, rife with murder and deceit and afternoon teas."
James rests his chin in his hand. "I've missed you, Chessie bear."
"I've missed you too."
James has been in New York more than he's been in New Orleans. At this point, I see Finn more than I see James.
"That's it?" James says now, his feathery red brows lifting in outrage.
"What are you talking about?"
He huffs. "You're not going to tell me anything about Finn?"
"God. When do I ever give you details?"
I swear the man's bowtie trembles with ire. He practically leans across the table. "Since you nailed Finn Mannus."
"At least you whispered this time," I mutter. "Please tell me this isn't about Finn being famous."
"You wound me, Chess." James sniffs. "This is about you finally getting what I know you've wanted since you met him. The fact that I've had a tiny crush on him for years is just frosting on the cake. But can you blame me for wanting to know? I mean, come on, have you seen him?"
"Oh, I've seen him," I can't help but say, fighting to maintain a straight face.
"Bitch," he says with a smile.
"Do I have to remind you that you're in a relationship, James?"
His teasing expression fades. "No."
///
I glance at him sharply, and James fidgets with his bowtie. "What?" I say, because that fidget never bodes well. "God, did you break up?"
"What? No." James sounds horrified. He exhales as if pulling himself together. "No, nothing like that … Chess." He reaches for my hand.
I pull away, my heart suddenly thumping. "Why are you saying my name as if someone died?"
"Chess," he says again, pained. "I'm moving to New York."
The words hang over us like a fug, as I stare at my best friend in frozen silence. My face feels too hot, my eyes scratchy. "You're moving?"
"Yes. I love Jamie. I don't like being away from her."
"You're moving."
I'm stuck on repeat, but can't seem to snap out of it.
He takes my hand then, and I feel how clammy his skin is. "I found my person, Chess. After all the searching. After empty nights of wondering if I should swear off women or swear of men, I found someone. I don't want to wait or take things slow. I want it all now."
"All?" I rasp. My mouth is dry. I hear him. Of course, I hear him. But my mind won't move past the fact that he's leaving.
James gives me a small but hopeful smile. "Marriage, a dog named Sue, maybe even kids."
James is telling me this. James who has scoffed at convention his whole life. James who once said having kids wasn't for everyone-wasn't for people like us, he'd implied. I run a hand through my hair and find my forehead damp.
In silence, James looks back at me, his eyes wide, his skin pale against the red of his hair. He's leaving me. He won't be here if things don't work out with Finn. He won't be here if things do. I won't have him to talk to when I work or when I'm worried.
"Chess … "
I blink out of my fog, and realize James is biting his lip. My sweet, funny friend is in love. He deserves this and more. My chair scrapes over the floor as I jerk to my feet. James watches me with clear trepidation that turns to surprise as I lean across the table and cup his cheek in my hands before giving him a big, smacking kiss. "I'm so happy for you," I tell him.
He laughs a little, letting out a gusty breath. "Jesus, I thought you were going for a Godfather II kiss of death reenactment or something."
I sit back in my chair. "What, the ‘I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart.'"
"‘You broke my heart!'" James intones with feeling.
We laugh like loons, but inside my heart truly is breaking a little. Change is rushing up like a rising tide against me, and I am unmoored.
* * *
Finn
* * *
Since I really don't want to mope around the apartment, waiting for Chess to come home from her night out with James, I decide I'll go out to dinner too.
I call Jake, who informs me that Dex, Rolondo, and one of the tight ends, North will be joining us. Oh, and we'll be eating at Rolondo's house. I really don't care what we do as long as I'm out.
Like me, Rolondo lives in a condo. His is in the Central Business District. Located on the fifteenth floor, the place looks like something straight out of Versailles with French style woodwork painted pale gray, mirrored walls, and ornate crystal chandeliers.
"Jesus, Ro," I say, as he leads me into a white kitchen with black and white checker pattern floors. "I feel as though I should have dressed for the occasion.
Dex is leaning against a counter and drinking a beer. "‘Londo has always been particular about his place. And by particular, I mean anal as all hell."
"A man's home is his castle," Rolondo intones.
I accept the beer Rolondo hands me. "I don't think you're supposed to take that literally."
Dex snickers just as the doorbells rings again.
"Jealous bitches," Rolondo says before he goes to answer the door. But his voice echoes in the hall. "You keep it up and see if I share my ribs."
"Shit," Dex mutters. "That's his mom's recipe. You don't want to miss out on those ribs."
I don't doubt that. The kitchen is fragrant with the scent of slow roasted meat and spices. My mouth waters a little.
It's weird, I'm almost at a loss of how to act. Jake and I are tight. But I haven't hung out socially with the others very much. Dex is stiff too, clutching his beer like he wants to crush the bottle. I don't know him well enough to tell, but he seems low. Given that there's a bounty on his virginity, and the press has been hounding him, I'd say he has a right to be. Funny thing is, I know without a doubt that the big guy is not a virgin. Not after the way he talked about his woman's panties.
///
It pisses me off the way the press has been treating him. To make matters worse with Dex, someone stole his phone and put nude pictures of his girl up on social media. When I think about someone doing that to Chess, the level of rage I feel scares me. I don't know how he deals with it.
In the hall, I hear Jake blabbing about something and North's voice joining in. Rolondo leads Jake and North into the kitchen.
"Shit, it's like a wake in here." Jake glares around. "You two fighting or something?"
Dex straightens, his brows lifting. "No. The fuck, Ryder?"
"Don't listen to him," I tell Dex. "He lives for drama."
"Nope. I just happen to have four-"
"Sisters," we all say as one.
"We know," I add with an eye roll. "We all know."
Jake wrenches a beer out of the fridge and snicks the cap off, glowering. "I do not repeat myself that often."