He finally got his feet moving, though not toward the door—the wiser direction. He walked to the bed and stopped next to it, staring down at her. She sighed and turned, the blanket slipping farther off her and fully exposing one breast as she stretched her arm up above her head.
Her gentle movement also gave a peek at the blond hair that nestled between her legs. It fired his loins even more, more so than if she had lain fully exposed, since the slight peek tempted and teased him beyond reason.
He should pay heed to his brother’s command and allow Carissa and him time to learn more about each other. They needed to reach a reasonable solution to their dilemma, and being intimate right now would not be the wisest thing. He couldn’t be selfish and think only of himself. He had to think of Carissa and what his self-indulgent actions would do to her.
If she didn’t deny him, as he knew she wouldn’t, it would appear to his brother that she was having her way of things, winning the battle Cavan believed she waged. It was only proving to his brother, and he supposed to himself, that she played no ruse, that her nature was of hope, not cruelty.
He smiled. He might not be able to make love to her, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t, if only briefly, hold her. He pulled the blanket over her, a shield against her nakedness and his desire, and stretched out on his side beside her.
Chapter 29
Ronan nestled his face in her hair, a hint of lavender teasing his senses as the soft, silky curls tickled his face. He rested his arm across her waist though he kept his hand from touching her, afraid that if his fingers simply brushed her flesh, he would want more. And he did not intend for his raging desire to interfere with the pleasure of holding her close.
She turned around and snuggled up against him as she had done so many times when they were at the cottage. His arms closed around her instinctively. When had he begun to protect her? When had he begun to realize that she belonged in his arms? When had he realized that Carissa was the woman he loved?
“It doesn’t matter,” he whispered. “I love you.”
As if she heard, she rubbed her cheek over his heart, then rested firmly against it. Her simple action made him shiver to his soul, for he felt as if she had claimed him for herself more potently than words.
He should have been wise and left then, but love appeared to be more foolish than wise, and at the moment he wanted to be more foolish than anything.
Carissa stirred, and her eyes suddenly sprang open.
And he couldn’t, he simply couldn’t, resist a kiss.
Her lips were warm, her taste familiar, and when she responded so willingly, the kiss slipped from his control. Need and yearning took over, and they both surrendered. He struggled to keep his hands to himself, while they itched to touch and explore.
She didn’t help matters, pressing her body firmly against his. He was disappointed though grateful that he could feel only a shadow of her body through the blanket. If he felt any more of her, he’d be sure to surrender to his passion, and she would obviously have trouble not submitting to her own.
He had no choice, he had to end the kiss, but he did so with extreme reluctance. He rested his brow on hers, giving them both time to catch their breaths and, hopefully, still their yearnings.
“We shouldn’t,” she whispered
“We won’t,” he said.
“But I want to,” she admitted breathlessly.
“As do I, but we must wait.”
“Yes, we must wait,” she said sadly. “We must make certain that your brother is assured that I play no game but truly love you.”
Ronan was surprised she didn’t turn away from him, for her remark had left him feeling guilty that, yet again, he had failed to come to her defense, or was it their defense? Instead, she returned her head to his chest, and he took his leave when once again she fell asleep.
When Carissa woke a short time later, she was hungry, not only for food, but for Ronan. Since only one was possible, she dressed and found her way to the cook area. The servants seemed reluctant and a bit uncertain whether to serve her, and she wasn’t surprised. Gossip among villagers traveled fast, and if the laird had yet to approve of her, then the villagers certainly weren’t going to accept her.
She was relieved when Addie appeared, and though in a hurry, she took a moment to instruct the servants to provide Carissa with whatever food she wished.
Addie’s cheeks glowed red and her green eyes sparkled. After she grabbed a flask of wine and crusty loaf of freshly baked bread, she hurried out. Carissa smiled, knowing that Addie and Hagen were about to rendezvous.
After tasting what was available and finding it not to her liking, actually barely tolerable, she gathered ingredients needed to make a tasty meal, to the bewilderment of the servants, and went to her cottage. If anything, the cooking would keep her thoughts from Ronan.