While they had been stolen times, they had also been memorable and had made her life that more bearable…until Dykar, like any brother, started to become more protective of her.
He hadn’t been able to stomach the way her father treated her, especially when Mordrac raised his hand to her. Carissa knew it was only a matter of time before Dykar couldn’t stand it any longer, and to Carissa’s horror it happened. Six years ago, when she was fourteen and Dykar had just turned eighteen, he had spoken up in Carissa’s defense.
Her father had grown furious and ordered Dykar to be whipped at sunrise and left on the post to die. Carissa could never have allowed that to happen to the young man she loved like a brother. So she helped him escape. Dykar had begged her to come with him, but she had refused and for good reason.
Mordrac would have searched heaven and hell to retrieve his daughter, and find her he would have, and then have brutally killed the man with whom she had dared to run off. However, if she remained and convinced her father that Dykar wasn’t worth the trouble, and she was glad he was gone, then Dykar had a good chance of surviving.
He reluctantly departed, and while her heart broke, she shed not a tear. She could not let her father see how much Dykar’s absence hurt her. And so she returned to being Mordrac’s daughter, steeling her heart and losing all hope…until Ronan.
She almost laughed. He thought Carissa beautiful and ugly at the same time. Her father would have been proud of her, for he wanted everyone to see her beauty yet fear her as they did him, since he certainly had no soul.
Carissa believed that she must have gotten her kindness from her mother. She often wondered if her mother had simply died because she could not live with Mordrac’s cruelty and in death finally found peace. At least she could take comfort in knowing that when she met death, she would be reunited with her mother in the afterlife.
She had thought her father’s death a fitting punishment, and she felt no sorrow when she had learned of it. She had believed it inevitable. He couldn’t have inflicted that much suffering on so many and think he wouldn’t reap the consequences.
From what she had learned, Cavan hadn’t wasted a moment in condemning Mordrac to death for his crimes, and that made her admire the Highlander even more. But it was the fact that he had carried out his own edict that made her respect him. Cavan had no other man soil his hands on the task, but rather he had, in front of all to see, ended Mordrac’s terrifying reign.
Oddly enough, she believed her father probably also admired and respected Cavan for that, for he had not died at the hands of a mere warrior but at the hands of a leader of men.
Fear suddenly gripped her, and she turned to face the man she loved and the man who intended to take her life.
Try as she might, she couldn’t stop a shred of hope from surfacing. Maybe, just maybe, the heavens would finally smile down on her, and Ronan would see her for who she truly was, the woman he loved. And they would live happily ever after.
She almost laughed again. How many times did she need to be hurt and disappointed before she accepted that there was no hope for her, and least of all for them?
She almost reached out and touched his lips, the lips that had kissed her and left her wanting more. She recalled their first kiss with a smile. He hadn’t been able to see her, but that hadn’t stopped his hands from exploring her face with a tender touch.
One night when she had sneaked to see him, he had whispered while brushing his fingers across her lips, how kissable they felt.
“I want to kiss you,” he had said.
“I want you to kiss me,” she had responded, and recalled the eager thudding of her heart.
And he had. His lips replaced his fingers, and he gently captured her lips with his, and he feasted on her and she on him, the exquisite sensation spreading throughout her entire body and making her shiver down to her soul.
She hadn’t wanted him to stop, and he hadn’t wanted to. stop. If a sound hadn’t frightened them apart, she had often wondered how far the kiss would have taken them.
Other times and other kisses and added touches had brought them close to making love, but it was never to be, and she wished, how she wished, they could be lovers for one night, just one night.
Lord, can’t you give me one night?
A foolish wish that would never be answered, just like all the other foolish wishes.
Carissa turned over and once again faced the hearth. She had to keep her distance from him and keep her mind on an escape. It could never be between them and if her father had taught her anything, he had taught her to survive.
And survive she would, even while losing the man she loved.
Chapter 12