The Highlander's Bride(86)
She couldn’t believe she wanted him so soon, but then, she always wanted him. A simple touch, an innocent kiss, and she was ready for him. It wasn’t right, but it felt so perfectly right.
“I want you all the time,” she breathed on a sigh.
“I like that thought,” he confessed before teasing her nipple with his mouth.
They lingered in touches, kisses, and an intimacy born of an indefinable need they both equally surrendered to.
It wasn’t until night claimed the sky that they halted their lovemaking and sat on the bed wrapped in a shared blanket, nibbling on the sweet bread and cheese that Teresa had packed for them.
“Bless your sister,” Cullen said, eating the food with a ravenous hunger.
“Teresa has been a godsend,” Sara agreed. “I am so happy that she is with child. It will make Alexander’s absence that less painful.”
“She has been good and generous with my son. I will never forget her kindness.”
“Or mine?” she asked bluntly.
He tweaked her nose with his finger. “At the rate we’re enjoying each other, it’s a good chance you’ll be with child and will have to join my son and me.”
“And if not?” she snapped.
Cullen stammered. “I—I—”
“Don’t know what to say?” Sara accused sharply. “You can’t love me, can you? That just wouldn’t be possible. You loved Alaina, God forbid you should love anyone else.”
“You’ve known how I’ve felt from the start,” Cullen shot back.
“Of course, you refuse to live. Better to die with Alaina than to ever chance loving again.”
“She’s been gone only—”
“Alaina’s gone for good,” Sara spat. “You’re not.”
“Love doesn’t disappear with death.”
“It also doesn’t die with it,” Sara said boldly.
“What would you know?” he accused.
Sara threw her hands up, the blanket falling down around them, leaving them naked to the waist, though she didn’t care. “You’re right. I don’t know. I only know how I feel about you, and even that seems crazy. How do you fall in love with someone you barely know?”
Cullen stared at her. “I’ve wondered the same myself.”
Sara couldn’t dare hope he meant her. She couldn’t stand the disappointment, and besides they were talking about Alaina.
“Alaina was easy to love?” she asked.
“Easy, gentle, predictable,” he confirmed.
“As it should be,” Sara proclaimed with a bravado she didn’t feel.
“I would have agreed at one time.”
“You don’t any longer?” she asked anxiously.
He asked instead of answering. “How do you feel about me and why is it crazy?”
“I love you.” The words surprised her, but then she couldn’t have stopped them from spewing from her mouth if she wanted to. She had contained her feelings long enough, and with such a short time left, she would have her feelings known and be done with it. The consequences would fall where they may.
“How?” He shrugged. “We barely—”
“Know each other,” she finished, the nagging thought too often on her mind. She shrugged. “I have no explanation for you or for myself, though I’ve searched hard for it. Can’t say when or where it is that I realized my love for you. It sort of popped up one day right in my face, and try as I might, I couldn’t make it go away.”
“You wanted it to?” Cullen asked.
She laughed gently. “It would have been so much easier if it had, but I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. Love had embedded itself in my heart and it was there to stay, whether I wanted it or not didn’t matter.”
“So you accept it willingly?”
“What else is there for me to do? Deny it? Ignore it?” She shook her head. “None work.”
“You’ve tried?”
“I surely did, and for my own sanity, but I learned quick enough that love borders on madness, which means there is no sane thought where love is concerned. Nothing makes sense, and to try to reason it is committing yourself to abject failure, thus plunging you into madness, though more accurately into the very depths of love. Does any of that make sense?”
Cullen shook his head. “Nothing has made sense since I met you. But tell me, why do you love me?”
“Do I need a reason?”
He smiled. “There is usually at least one, maybe two or three.”
“Let me think,” she said, tapping her finger to her chin.
“You need to think?”
“It’s an important question,” she said seriously.