“Sleep,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re safe.”
She nodded, but doubted she would sleep a wink. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to chance returning to the dream. It had frightened her so badly, and worse, left her with a fear she didn’t think would subside anytime soon.
She tried to chase the dream out of her head but the memory of it kept returning to haunt her. In it, she’d been running in the woods with Cullen, Alexander tight in his arms. Soldiers were everywhere and she knew they would soon be caught and killed. She had to do something. She had to save them. She had promised Alaina she would keep her son safe.
A man suddenly appeared in front of the three of them, sword in hand. Cullen had no sword, no way of defending him and his son. Without thought, Sara jumped in front of father and son and screamed for them to run as the man drove the sword deep into her stomach.
The last thing she remembered was seeing Cullen and Alexander fleeing to safety. She had saved them.
Had it been just a nightmare, she wondered, or a vision of the future?
Chapter 20
They woke early and left camp with the first light of dawn. Cullen followed Sara, the extra horses behind him in single file, attached by a rope to keep them from wandering off. Sara had spent a fitful night in his arms, getting little sleep, as did he from her constant restlessness. The sleepless night didn’t disturb him as much as did his concern for her. He had wondered over her dream. Why had it upset her so much? And why wouldn’t she speak to him about it? She spoke to him about everything. The woman rarely lacked for conversation. Even her silence spoke volumes, because it warned him that something bothered her.
She had been silent since they left camp. Something definitely preyed on her mind. He told himself not to worry about her. Sara had made her choice, and she would keep their bargain. There was no need for concern.
All last night, however, she had remained cradled in his arms, burrowing deeper against him during fitful episodes. She sought his comfort and protection, and he had been glad to give it to her. Actually, he felt an overwhelming need to protect Sara, just as he had when the mercenary had chased her.
Then, while he’d known that she could hold her own, he had been enraged that she would need to defend herself even for the short time it took to get to her. He wanted her safe and secure. But then, he’d wanted the same for Alaina.
Not for the first time, that he compared his feelings for Alaina with those he had for Sara startled him. He told himself that it meant nothing more than wanting to make sure he was there to defend a friend.
It comforted him to think of it that way, since he did count Sara as a friend. Friends, especially good ones, weren’t made easily, though Sara was the exception. Their friendship might have begun out of necessity, but it had flourished and deepened out of respect.
He knew that Sara would help him regardless of the circumstances. It relieved him to realize that, for if anything should happen to him, he knew she would see to his son’s safety. She would even get Alexander to his Burke if he asked it of her.
Cullen realized then that it wasn’t going to be easy saying good-bye to her. Strangely enough, he would miss her.
“If we keep this pace, there’s a good chance we can reach my home by nightfall,” she said with a quick turn of her head.
“Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night alone, just the two of us, and return home in the first light of morning?” he asked. She would know he was asking if she’d changed her mind, and telling her that there was still time and the choice remained hers.
“I want to get home as soon as possible,” she answered, and gave her horse a nudge.
He didn’t catch a smile or a frown as she turned her glance back to the trail ahead. Was she ambivalent about her decision? And why did he continue to concern himself with her choice?
He kept telling himself it was because he wanted her protected before he left her behind. He had agreed to that from the beginning, and wanted to fulfill his end of the bargain. A nagging voice, however, told him that he wanted to make love to her. That he wanted not just to give her that one night of love she ached for, but that he himself ached for. And it disturbed him, that by wanting to make love to Sara he was betraying Alaina. It left him feeling guilty.
How had everything become so complicated? It had all been simple when he started his journey. Find his son and return to St. Andrew Harbor, where his half brother would have a ship waiting to take them to America.
He would have never dreamed that a woman would enter his plans and send them astray. He hadn’t wanted another woman. Hadn’t wanted to feel anything for another woman. His hurt was too new and raw. Yet Sara had somehow managed to enter his heart—as a friend of course, nothing more.