He stared down at her, his eyes earnest and dark. “I love you too, Keeley. If I can give you nothing else, let me give you these words.”
She bit the inside of her lip to prevent more tears from sliding down her cheeks. Instead she kissed him, just one reverent, loving kiss to his lips.
“You must go now,” she whispered. “Before we are found.”
“Aye. Lay here awhile and rest. If Mairin has need of you, I’ll send someone for you. Until then, enjoy the rest.”
She smiled and pulled the furs up as he slid from her body and backed from the bed. He dressed in silence and then left the room, pausing at the doorway for a long, heated glance back in her direction.
It was only after he’d long gone from her chamber, that she realized he’d spilled his seed inside her.
She closed her eyes, hopeful and dreading all at once. She had no wish for a child of hers to ever bear the stigma of being a bastard, but at the same time, she knew that if she were to become pregnant, it would be the only child she’d ever bear.
She rolled onto her side and clutched the covers tightly to her breast. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered tearfully. “I love him. I want him. I want his children and yet all those things are forbidden me.”
She closed her eyes and allowed the hot tears to disappear into the covers. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t cry. That she’d be brave when the time came. But more and more she knew she was deluding herself. For when it came time for Alaric to marry another, it would destroy her.
CHAPTER 28
Keeley took her time dressing. She was in no hurry to go belowstairs and allow the dreamlike haze that surrounded her to evaporate once she greeted reality.
She hummed softly to herself as she braided her hair and then she straightened the furs on her bed. After giving the pillow a final pat, she turned and exited the chamber.
’Twas positively late, and she allowed herself a lusty yawn as she descended the stairs. It was a good day to stay indoors and enjoy the company of the other women. Mairin was becoming increasingly more restless as the days went by.
She was three steps from the bottom when the noise from the hall filtered to her ears. Frowning, she braced her hand against the wall and peered around to see what was about.
“Laird McDonald approaches our gates,” the herald announced as Ewan stood before him.
Keeley gasped and faltered down the remaining steps. She stood rigid as she stared across the room to where Alaric stood with his brothers receiving the news.
“He brings his daughter and asks that you receive him in good faith.”
Ewan nodded at the messenger. “Aye, tell him he may pass. I’ll greet him in the courtyard.”
He turned and barked out several orders. Serving women scattered in all directions as they set about preparing the table for refreshment.
Keeley stared numbly at Alaric, feeling as if her entire world had crumbled at her feet. Then he looked up and caught her stare.
His gaze was raw and expressed all the turmoil that rolled within her.
She should be strong. She should be a better person. She should be able to stand tall as if she didn’t have a care in the world. She was none of those things. She couldn’t face her childhood friend or the man who’d attacked her. She couldn’t face the woman who would have the man she loved.
Covering her mouth to squelch the mounting sob, she whirled and fled back up the stairs.
Alaric watched Keeley rush back up the stairs and he turned away, not trusting himself not to go after her.
“What is McDonald doing here?” he hissed. “He isn’t supposed to be here until closer to spring, after Mairin’s child is delivered.”
“I don’t know,” Ewan said grimly. “I intend to find out. ’Tis possible he received a missive from our king as well. He would be eager to do his bidding.”
Alaric dragged a hand through his hair. The noose was tightening around his neck. Maybe he’d been living in denial of his reality. He’d pushed thoughts of his marriage to Rionna from his mind, content to savor each night in Keeley’s arms.
Now … now his future was upon him, and Keeley was part of his past.
“ ’Tis better to have done with it,” Ewan murmured.
He cringed at the sympathy in Ewan’s voice and the disgust on Caelen’s face. Alaric straightened his stance and pushed back his anguish.
“Let us go greet him,” he said quietly.
Ewan tucked Mairin’s hand in his and then pulled her into his embrace. “Wait here, sweeting, where ’tis warm and you’re comfortable. Have the women attend you and stay off your feet.”
He rubbed his hand over her burgeoning belly and kissed her one last time before he turned to Alaric.