The High Price of Secrets(44)

                Okay, what was she going to do with the chicken? Stuff it? She mentally went over the range of ingredients she had at her disposal and decided on a carpetbag-style concoction that had been popular with her flatmates. She even had some frozen scallops in the freezer to stuff the chicken with. She put them on a separate plate to defrost, making a mental note to replace them the next time she shopped for groceries.

                Boiled baby potatoes, seasoned with parsley butter, and asparagus spears would be a perfect accompaniment to the chicken. Moving swiftly, Tamsyn prepared a marinade for the meat, throwing the almost-defrosted breasts into a dish with lemon juice, tarragon, some finely chopped garlic, salt and ground black pepper and covering it again.

                The baby potatoes were easy. She grabbed the box she’d bought at a grocery store on the way back from Nelson and rinsed a few under the kitchen faucet before popping them in a saucepan with water and a dash of salt and setting them on the stove to cook later. The asparagus she rinsed and snapped and put in a dish ready to steam in the microwave just before serving. She wished she’d paid more attention at home when the cook had prepared hollandaise sauce with their asparagus dishes, and contemplated looking up a recipe on the internet. In the end she decided against it. What if it didn’t work? She’d rather have a practice at it first before dishing it up to Finn, who had served her such a delicious dinner, himself. She badly wanted to impress him.

                She sobered for a minute, the wild excitement of planning and preparing her meal deserting her. Insecurity trickled its icy fingers into the corners of her mind. What, in all honesty, was she trying to prove? Was she so desperate for male approval that she was prepared to put herself through hoops again already?

                Tamsyn stepped away from the kitchen counter and walked out the back door, sinking onto the wooden steps that led down to the vegetable garden. She pulled her knees up under her chin, growling at herself under her breath. She needed to get a grip, to stop defining herself by the men in her life.

                She’d invited Finn to dinner because she enjoyed his company and, frankly, enjoyed the way he made her feel. She wanted to know if that feeling could go further, that was all. And, whether it did or it didn’t, she would handle it like an adult.

                They would enjoy a nice meal together, then a nice evening together. What happened next…well, she shrugged and pushed herself back up to her feet again. Whatever happened next, just happened.

                She went back into the kitchen and turned the chicken. She had the main course planned, which left her with a question. What was she going to do for dessert? She opened the refrigerator and studied its contents again. Cheese and crackers with some fresh sliced fruit? It would have to do, she decided. She was no Cordon Bleu cook by any means. Which left predinner nibbles… She hoped he liked crudités with hummus. She could slice some carrot sticks and celery as well as a red bell pepper and arrange them all on a plate.

                Right, the food was sorted, which just left her. What the heck was she going to wear? She thought for a minute then decided on the gypsy-style skirt she’d bought yesterday from the boutique in town. Another item by the same designer as her purple-and-blue dress, it had cost a pretty penny, but the swirl of color, in shades of coral over a sumptuous midnight blue, and the sheer femininity of the item had filled Tamsyn with delight. She’d team it with a blue silk knit singlet and a pair of navy ballet flats that she’d picked up while in Nelson today.

                Satisfied she’d done all she could for now in the kitchen, Tamsyn quickly zoomed through the sitting room, clearing away old newspapers and tidying the stack of magazines on the shelf under the coffee table. There, tidy, but not staged. She groaned. Who was she kidding? She was staging everything in anticipation of Finn being here tonight. It didn’t matter how sternly she talked to herself, deep down it mattered to her what he thought.

                Acknowledging that was a freedom in itself and allowed her to make a decision about another question that had been playing around the back of her mind. She went straight to the linen cupboard in the passageway and grabbed out fresh linen for her bed.