He laughed once, without humor. “That’s awfully dismissive, don’t you think?”
I snorted. “What, so you don’t think I’m being fair?”
“No, I don’t. You’re judging me before you’ve even gotten to know me.”
My jaw clenched. How dare he? Did he not do the exact same thing to me?
Maybe I should remind him.
Emily’s jaw clenched. “I doubt there’s much to know.”
Having my words thrown back in my face really stung. It reminded me how much of a shit I’d been, and that I was still miles away from making it up to her.
“I deserved that.” I waited for her to say something–some kind of smartass retort or acknowledgment to what I’d said. She said nothing, though, instead turning and walking away.
Oh, hell no. She wasn’t getting out of this that easily.
Fully aware that I was about to cause a scene–and not caring in the slightest–I grabbed her bag and carefully pulled her back to me, which pissed her off even more.
She tried jerking away from me, saying through clenched teeth, “Let. Me. Go.”
I did, but blocked her path. “All right, so I judged you. You did it to me too, but at least I’m willing to form a second opinion of you. You’re not, though. You’re sticking with your first opinion, which now puts you in the wrong.”
She crossed her arms, her eyes still flaring with indignation. “I’m pretty sure it doesn’t. My opinion of you is now a verifiable fact: you are an asshole.”
My blood boiled as we silently glared at each other. “God, you’re just so…”
Ridiculous! Absurd! Infuriating! Asinine!
I couldn’t make the words come out, I was that fired up. And I was vaguely aware that my face had contorted from frustration and anger, with my hands balled into fists, dying for something to hit. If she’d been a man, I wouldn’t have hesitated to punch her right in the face.
I exhaled slowly, unclenching my jaw to mutter, “I’m not an asshole.”
Before she had a chance to argue, I left.
Well, that went downhill quickly.
Did I smooth things over? No. Did I show her I wasn’t the giant asshole she thought I was? No.
Did I yell at her? Yes. Did I just reaffirm my status as world-class asshole? Yes. Did I just do the exact opposite of what I intended, and fuck everything up? Yes.
Fuck. Me.
I lay in bed that night, unable to sleep. My mind kept going back to him. His hair had been a golden mess, almost looking like he’d just come from the beach. And his eyes were still the most exquisite shade of light blue I’d ever seen.
Not that I noticed any of this, of course, because I was still furious with him.
The beautiful son of a bitch acted as if our feud on Monday never happened and we were the best of friends. And the way he’d looked at me during our conversation in class made me uncomfortable. His stare was…personal. Intimate. My skin had burned until I couldn’t keep up eye contact. Then when I’d asked him why he’d been staring at me so intently, the dismissive tone of his voice made me shake the thoughts from my head.
I must’ve been imagining things. There was no underlying meaning there. It was just a look–nothing more, nothing less.
However, that hadn’t stopped my traitorous heart from hammering in response, or kept my skin from growing warm as all coherent thoughts vanished. I didn’t like how one look from him had that effect on me.
Chapter Nine
Thursday, August 27th
With an hour before my biology lab, I met Beth and some of her friends in the courtyard for lunch. The group sat under the shade of a giant oak tree, one of many in the courtyard. Beth leaned against the trunk, with her head tilted back and huge black sunglasses covering the top half of her face.
I plopped down on the grass between Beth and Hayley, a petite girl with long blond hair and big brown eyes. Hayley was in both my English and history class, and she seemed really nice. Andy, a sophomore and Hayley’s boyfriend, sat on her other side. Josh, Beth’s longtime crush, lay on the grass near her feet.
You would’ve thought Beth wanted to go to the same school as the boy she’d been in love with since the third grade, but no. She was convinced he only thought of her as a friend, even though she’d never really attempted to find out otherwise.
I tried telling her that guys could be really obtuse. Sometimes you just had to spell things out for them.
Beth nodded and let out a little grunt as I sat next to her. I guess that was the only greeting I’d get. I pulled out my lunch–a sandwich, chips, and some grapes–and started eating.
Josh lifted his head. “You look hung over,” he said to her.