“Hey, Vern,” the standing Shiffley said.
“We heard two shots and found him dead,” the kneeling one said.
“Chief’s on his way.” Vern pulled out a flashlight, knelt on the other side of the body, and focused the beam on Brett’s face.
“What’s going on here?” came a voice from the fog on the Midway side. He had the twang of a local. Another Shiffley?
“Crime scene,” Vern snapped. “Stay clear.”
“If it’s a crime scene, I’ll take over.”
A figure appeared. Not a Shiffley. He was too short and wide, more the hulking bearlike shape of a high school football player gone sedentary. He wasn’t wearing a uniform, but he was flashing a badge.
“We’re already on it,” Vern said.
“And now I’m here,” the new arrival said. “Deputy Plunkett, Clay County Sheriff’s Department.”
“We were here first.” Vern stood up, looming over his counterpart. “Deputy Shiffley, Caerphilly Sheriff’s Department.”
“Body’s in Clay County,” Plunkett said.
“Parts of it,” Vern said.
“Looks like he was shot in the head,” Plunkett said. “And the head’s in Clay County.”
“Yeah, but his feet are in Caerphilly. Far as I can see, he must have been standing on them when he was shot. In Caerphilly County.”
“But he landed in Clay County.”
“Only the top half of him,” Vern said. “A little less than half, actually. If you draw a line through the gate it would hit him midway between the waist and the shoulders.”
“But he was shot in the head,” Plunkett said.
“By someone in Caerphilly County, by the look of it.”
“How do you figure that?” Plunkett asked.
“Shot’s in the middle of his forehead,” Vern pointed out.
Plunkett squatted down to look at the body, grunting as he did.
“Shot probably knocked him on his back like that,” Vern went on. “Had to have been from our side of the fence.”
“He could have staggered and turned around before he went down,” Plunkett said. “For that matter, how do I know you didn’t turn him over? To check his vitals or give him CPR or some such nonsense.”
“We haven’t moved him,” the other Shiffley said. “He was lying just like this, and we could see it was no use giving CPR.”
“So you say.” Plunkett crossed his arms and planted his feet as if to suggest he could stand there all night to argue about it.
It was like listening to Jamie and Josh argue. At least with them you could blame it on the terrible twos. I was opening my mouth to say so when another figure appeared out of the fog on the Clay County side. A short, very stout figure that I recognized, after a second or two, as the sheriff of Clay County. Damn.
“What’s going on here?” he asked.
“Body in our county—” Plunkett began.
“Partly in your county—” Vern corrected.
“And they’re trying to assert jurisdiction,” Plunkett went on.
“Well, that’s a load of—cow manure.” The sheriff glanced at me in time to soften what might otherwise have been a saltier statement. “Plunkett, go get a board or something so we can haul him off.”
“Haul him off?” I repeated. “Without having the medical examiner certify his death? Without having a crime scene crew look for evidence? Without doing any of the things you need to do to catch who killed him?”
I stopped short of what I really wanted to say, which was “How stupid are you, anyway?” He probably guessed I was thinking it.
“We do things our own way in Clay County, young lady,” the sheriff said. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head.”
“Over here in Caerphilly County, we do things the right way,” I said.
“And most of him’s in Caerphilly County,” Vern put in.
“Head’s in our county,” Plunkett said.
“Never mind what county which parts of him are where,” I said. “The whole of him’s on my fairgrounds, and I’m asserting jurisdiction.”
They all blinked and looked at me in surprise. I was a little surprised myself at what I’d just said.
“Your fairgrounds?” the sheriff echoed.
“Jurisdiction?” the Clay County deputy scoffed.
“As assistant director of the Un-fair, I’m ordering you to leave that body alone until Chief Burke gets here and we can work out an appropriate solution to the jurisdictional issues.”
“You may be assistant director of the fair, little lady,” the sheriff said. “But I don’t see how that gives you any jurisdiction over my body.”