The Heart of a Duke(41)

“You did not.”

“I did. I would have gotten away with it as I had for over a week, but Mary Reynolds took umbrage to her shoes being his second course. As if she did not have enough pairs, carrying on so over the loss of a few.” She frowned, still irked at the memory.

Daniel threw back his head and laughed.

“I am glad you find it amusing. Mary and the headmistress did not see the humor in it,” she continued in a more serious vein. “Truth be told, I was always horrifically homesick. I was better off with a governess. I belong here.”

“Looks like we both managed to figure out a way to get where we wanted to be, despite our challenges.” He paused. “I am sorry about your mother and Jason, Julia. Sorry I was not here for you during that difficult time. It must have been lonely, handling so much on your own.”

His compassion caught her off guard. She dropped her gaze, blinking at the stinging behind her eyes. No one had ever dared to address those years, or thought to ask how she had fared.

She had been so scared, tired, and desperately lonely after she had lost her mother, watching despair steal first her father and then Emily from her. Her loneliness was compounded when all of her friends married and drifted away as they built their own families.

For the first time in years, she found herself wanting to confide in someone who would understand how deeply alone one can be while still surrounded by family.

“My father blamed Jonathan for my mother’s death.” It was a confidence she had shared with no one. She spoke softly, the pain of those years still raw. “He refused to see him. He would travel, visit other estates, or stay in London. Anything to keep him away from home. So I did what I had to. I took care of Jonathan and worked with the bailiff to keep things running.”

He nodded. “I cannot imagine you would do anything less.”

The compliment was like a warm wave suffusing her, moving her almost as much as seeing her family heal. His praise meant something, for he was the first to deliver it.

“Your father was devoted to your mother, so I can only imagine the depth of his loss. Few marriages have what your parents had. Mine certainly did not. What turned him around?”

That brought a smile to her lips. “One day, when Jonathan had turned two, he was outside with his nurse. She got distracted and he disappeared. My father thankfully was home then, and he orchestrated the search for him. We found him in an empty well. He had slipped in feet first and by God’s grace, landed in the bucket, which held his weight.” Daniel’s hand closed over hers as she drew a ragged breath. She did not pull away from the quiet comfort he offered. “When he was hauled up and into my father’s arms, it severed whatever held my father tethered to his grief. It took the near loss of his son for my father to find him.”

“Sometimes it takes the threat of losing something precious for someone to realize its true value.”

“Like Lakeview Manor?”

“Yes,” he said, as if he’d been considering something else of which he had belatedly realized its value. “And Emily? How did you almost lose her, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“She loved Jason in the same manner as my father loved my mother. And she did not have a child to pull her back. It was like a light had been snuffed out inside of her. She went to a very dark place, and . . . there were times, I feared she would never return. I thought if I took her away from everything that reminded her of Jason, it would help her to heal. I took her to Windermere, in the Lake District, and with time and distance, she began to find her way back to us, like my father.”

“They were both fortunate to have you.”

Surprised, she glanced at him. When his eyes smiled into hers, her voice dropped to a quiet murmur, for she feared if she spoke too loud she would sever this fragile thread binding them. “They would do the same for me.”

“I do not doubt it. That is the difference between your family and mine. Edmund and I never had that. I was not close with my father either, but in his last years, he did make more of an effort to seek out my company.” He shrugged. “I suspect he had spent so many years grooming Edmund for the title, that he was trying to catch up with me during those last few years.”

She turned her hand palm up, threading her fingers through his. For just a few minutes. The silence that settled over them was comfortable, the bond tethering them together sweet. She did not want to let go of it just yet.

“I apologize, Julia. I should have been honest with you earlier about Edmund’s and my relationship, but I wanted the chance to begin again with you. To set things right. I agreed to assist you with this venture for my father’s sake and yours, not Edmund’s. In truth, my brother never crossed my mind. I promised to assist you, and I will not renege on that.”