She straightened, her humor fleeing. “Return? Short trip?”
He withdrew the letter he had received from the courier and handed it to Julia. While he waited for her to read it, he recalled that it had been delivered with responses to Brett’s letters. He now understood why he had left Brett cursing up a storm and vowing to have Emily’s beautiful, lying, deceitful head on a platter.
“So they have located Charlie Shaw,” she said, handing the note back to him.
“Yes. He was found in one of the seedier gambling hells. Robbie, Brett, and I are going to leave for the city tomorrow.” He folded the note and returned it to his pocket.
As predicted, storm clouds moved in to shadow Julia’s eyes and she fisted her hands at her side, braced for battle. “I am coming. You cannot leave me here, Daniel. That is not your decision to make.”
“No. It is not, but I am making it mine.” He struggled to keep his voice level, knowing Julia responded more to reason than anger. “Look, I am going with both Brett and Robbie, and a few other men. I am not stupid.”
“And neither am I.”
Forget reason, exasperation filled him and he tossed his hands up. “For God’s sake, Julia. This is not like the time Edmund locked you in the root cellar all those years ago. This is attempted murder. I cannot save you if you are dead, and I refuse to risk that.”
“What did you say?” Julia breathed.
He paused and wondered at the odd expression crossing her features. “This is not a children’s game. The consequences of this are dire, and—”
“No, about the root cellar. I thought you locked me in. Edmund said it was a game of hide-and-seek, and you were to be the seeker. I hid there and heard the click of the latch. I was locked in for over an hour, and it was dark, cold, and damp. It was awful. I hated you for doing that.”
His anger depleted, he shook his head, a sadness settling over him. “No. I tried to explain when I found you, but you were too upset to listen. I would have located you sooner had Edmund ever told me I was to search for you. I found you because your father asked me to look. He said you had disappeared with Edmund, and he had lost you both. So I searched and heard you crying.” At the sheen of tears glistening in her eyes, he drew her into her arms. “My apologies, Julia. Edmund liked his games.”
“So you saved me from Edmund’s cruelty then, and a second time when you kissed me, ending my betrothal to him.”
He leaned back and stared into her blurry eyes. “It was my pleasure.”
“Yes, you do enjoy telling me so,” she sniffed. “But Daniel, you like to tell me that it is your turn to take care of me, but you already have. Twice. So it is my turn to keep you safe. I cannot do it if I am here in Bedfordshire and you are in a London gambling hell getting stabbed or . . .” Her voice hitched.
“Shh . . .” He pressed her face to his chest, resting his chin on the cap of her bonnet. “Nothing is going to happen to me. They would have to employ their own army to get through mine. If it was not a gambling hell that I was going into, which no respectable woman could ever enter—even a brave warrior who is a crack shot with a Manton revolver—I promise you, I would take you with me.” That would be when horses flew, but he kept that detail to himself. Self-preservation and all that.
“Liar,” she murmured.
She knew him too well. He’d have to remember that in their marriage. He smiled.
“It is just, I love you so much that I don’t think I could bear it if anything were to happen to you. I never understood what my father or Emily felt, but now I do, and I saw what they experienced when they lost—”
She stopped speaking when he forced her away from him. He held her at arm’s length, his heart sputtering to a dead stop. “What? What did you just say?” He dared not breathe as he waited for her response.
Her face was mottled and tear streaked, and she sniffled as she stared at him balefully. She had never looked more beautiful.
She swiped at her eyes. “I am not saying it again. You do not deserve it.”
Good lord, she was perfect. Absolutely perfect. He swung her off her feet, lifting her high, and twirling her around. “Too late. I heard you. You cannot deny it.”
She rolled her eyes and tried to kick out at him, but she could not suppress her smile either. He set her on her feet and kissed her hard as he enfolded her in his arms.
He had not planned to say the words. Had vowed to wait, but they poured from him. “I love you, too. I have never said those words to another living person. Ever. You are the first. The only one for me, Julia. I never thought I would find someone like you, someone I would want to say that to,” he declared.