The Headmaster's Wife(145)

“I’ve moved since then,” Gregor said. There were a lot of cameras behind him. He couldn’t tell if one of them was aimed in his direction.

“They’ll find you next time they look,” Bennis said. She seemed to be breathing very heavily into the phone. “Liz called,” she said finally. “She’s worried about you.”

“About me? Why? I haven’t done much of anything here except sit around and look at papers. And talk to people. You know what that’s like. Talking to people.”

“I know what it’s like,” Bennis said, ’but I’m surprised you do. You don’t talk to people much, Gregor.”

“I’m using the phrase in a different sense,” Gregor said. “I was talking to suspects.”

“You were interrogating people, you mean.”

“All right, I was interrogating them.”

“You’re good at interrogating people. I’ve seen you do it. You’re not so good at talking to people.”

“I’m really not good at talking to people who aren’t talking to me,” Gregor said. “You know, I’m not a clairvoyant. If you ask me, nobody is a clairvoyant. I can’t understand what you want me to know unless you tell me first.”

There was a long silence on the line. “I don’t know what I want you to know. And maybe this isn’t the time for it. You’re on television again. They’ve got you from the side this time. You should button your coat.”

Gregor’s first impulse was to ask why she’d called if she didn’t want to talk, but he wasn’t entirely without the ability to understand women. He knew that she’d either go straight through the roof or descend into that icy coldness he’d had to put up with for days. He wanted neither thing to happen. He only wished that whoever was filming him would stop. There was something a little uncomfortable about the idea that Bennis could see him when he couldn’t see her.

“Listen,” he said, “didn’t you want me to go back to work? Back on the last day you were acting like yourself—”

“I always act like myself, Gregor. I don’t have anybody else to act like.”

“Back then you were telling me I was driving you crazy and hurting myself by not being willing to take on a job, and here I am. I’ve taken on a job. I’m out. You told me I should get out. I’m not moping around.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Well, you know, Bennis, maybe I am, but I haven’t had time to notice. There’s a lot going on here. I miss you. You could have come with me. You’d have gotten a chance to see Mark again. The way this thing has worked out, you’d havegotten a chance to see Liz again, too. And Jimmy, if that’s what you’d wanted.”

“If Liz is there with Jimmy, it would be inevitable.”

“Probably. This doesn’t make any difference. I didn’t do anything, for God’s sake.”

“You were very flippant about something I can’t be flippant about.”

“Then act like a sane human being and scream at me,” Gregor said. “Don’t just shut up for days and expect me to guess what you’re angry about. I still don’t know if you love the idea of marriage or hate it. And I wasn’t being flippant. I was just talking.”

“Being unserious, then.”

“Well, I’m not likely to get serious on that subject after this reaction. I’d have had an easier time if I’d told you you were getting fat.”

“You wouldn’t have survived breakfast.”

“Exactly,” Gregor said. “You’d have lit into me and that would have been that. But this is crazy, Bennis. This really is. I’ve spent half my time up here worrying about it, and I don’t even know what I’m worrying about. About you. I’m worrying about you. I do know that. Most of the time I’m worrying that you’ve just got tired of this arrangement and I hadn’t noticed it.”

“I don’t think I can have this conversation on this phone at this time,” Bennis said.

“What?”

Down near the pond, one of the uniformed officers, the youngest-looking one Gregor had seen yet, was trying to wedge his way under the evergreens. He was lying flat on his back, inching sideways very carefully, brushing the twigs and needles out of his face. Gregor didn’t think he was going to make it.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he said to Bennis. “That doesn’t sound good at all.”

“No, I haven’t got tired of this arrangement,” Bennis said. “Does that sound better? At least, I’m not tired of being with you. How’s that?”