"What?"
"Yeah … he's not getting sorority action any time soon at least. The combination of being unfaithful and having a small penis isn't a good thing for a guy."
"But he doesn't have a small-"
"And you're going to keep that detail to yourself." Mallory hugged me from the side. "He deserves this."
"I just want him out of here. Can't he graduate early?"
"It's going to be okay. You'll show him whose turf this is and you'll be fine." Juliet took my hand. "Let's go eat some really bad pizza and try to drown out the taste with beer."
"I love you, girls."
"Yeah, we love you too." Juliet opened the door to the empty restaurant.
"Hey, ladies." Reed greeted us with a smile as we made our way over to him. He didn't usually work the counter, but some of his staff must have still been home on break.
"Hey, Reed." I took in the tall, broad frame of Juliet's boyfriend. He'd let his brown hair grow out a little since I'd last seen him.
"How are you doing, Cara?" He smiled. It wasn't a sympathetic smile. It was just a smile, and I appreciated it.
"I'm doing pretty well thanks to these gals." I did my best to smile back.
"Anything I can get you girls?"
"A large cheese pizza and a pitcher." Juliet grimaced when she ordered.
"You actually want pizza? Have you guys been drinking already?"
"They're doing this for me." I rested a hand on the counter. "Just put the order up."
"Okay, if you say so."
We found a booth, and I slid in. Mallory sat next to me, probably leaving Juliet's side open in case Reed decided to sit with us for a little while.
I needed to make conversation that didn't involve Aaron. "So, how's Colt?"
Mallory smiled. Bringing up her boyfriend always had that effect. "He's good. He's going to the movies with some of his friends tonight."
I felt a twinge of guilt. I had the feeling he was only with his friends because Mallory told him she had to be around for me. That was fine for a night, but it couldn't continue for long. I refused to mess anything up for my friends and their boyfriends. I had to make them understand I didn't expect them to change their life because of me. The funny thing was, I'd pushed both of them to start dating Kappas. I'd wanted us to all have boyfriends in the same house. We hadn't even had a full semester that way.
I sighed.
"You okay?" Mallory asked.
"Yeah, please don't worry."
"Of course we're going to worry."
The door jangled and my chest clenched. In theory, I wanted to face Aaron, but the thought of actually doing it terrified me.
"It's not him." Juliet pulled a few napkins from the dispenser.
"Okay, thanks." I let out a sigh of relief.
"Here you go." Reed set down a pitcher and three plastic glasses on the table. One of the best parts of going to Al's was that we never had to worry about being carded. We also didn't usually have to worry about paying for the beer. He bent down and kissed Juliet on the cheek. "I'll go check on the pizza."
Juliet poured each of us a cup before raising her glass in a toast. "To our amazing and resilient friend, Cara. May she meet Mr. Right soon."
I smiled, sipping the drink. I appreciated the sentiment, but I wasn't interested in finding Mr. Right. I had no interest in getting burned ever again. I had another fleeting thought of Chase. The best part of that hookup was that it would always stay perfect. Even if he'd slept with another girl ten minutes later, I'd never know. I could pretend he was as perfect as I wanted him to be, and that I was as perfect and gorgeous as he thought I was.
***
Aaron never showed up at Al's that night. As hyped up as I was about facing him, I couldn't deny some serious relief at avoiding the confrontation. Saying I was over what he did was easier when I didn't have to worry about seeing his face.
"Have you had enough crappy pizza yet?" Reed asked. He'd come to sit with us once a few of the other employees showed up at work.
I'd stopped at half a slice. I'd have to scrounge up a snack before bed. "Yeah, I'm probably ready to head home soon." I knew falling asleep easily was out of the question, but I needed to try. I hadn't slept in my own bed at school more than a handful of times that year.
"All right, want to walk us home?" Juliet leaned into Reed.
"Oh, you girls don't have to stay at the house." I knew they'd prefer to stay with their boyfriends. I finished off my first cup of beer.
"We don't have to, but we want to." Mallory squeezed my hand. Her boyfriend, a freshman, had taken over a vacant room at the Kappa house. I was pretty sure the only reason he had traded his dorm for the frat house was so he could have Mallory stay over with him.
Reed put an arm around Juliet. "I'm willing to give Juliet up for a while since it's for a good cause."
"But it's not a good cause." I nudged Malloy so she'd let me get up. "I want to be alone tonight anyway."
Mallory blocked my exit. "You stayed back at the house last semester when I needed you."
"This is different. I want to be alone."
"No, you don't."
"I do. Please, guys." I hoped they heard the desperation in my voice. Seeing them there would just remind me that they weren't with their boyfriends-their caring boyfriends who weren't screwing their ex's.
"Please."
"At least let me walk you home." Reed's eyes were so kind. I could tell how much he hated the awkward situation he was in. Being stuck between your best friend and your girlfriend's best friend couldn't be fun.
"Fine, if you don't mind."
"Of course he doesn't mind," Juliet quickly answered. "And I'll be back before class tomorrow so we can walk together."
"What do I have to do to prove to you guys that I'm okay?"
"Stop pretending to be." Mallory put a hand on my arm. "You're allowed to be upset. You're supposed to be upset."
"I'm more numb than anything."
"That's normal too." Reed smiled. He was trying really hard.
"Maybe once classes start tomorrow things will feel more normal."
"I bet they will. You'll get used to being back." Mallory didn't sound very convincing.
"Guys, I'm fine."
"You're fine? You had sex with a random guy on the beach. That's not fine." Juliet put a hand over her mouth.
"Uh … should I not be here?" Reed looked between Juliet and me.
I swallowed hard. "I have no regrets."
"Which scares me." Mallory reluctantly slid out of the booth.
"I needed to live. I needed to feel alive. What's so wrong with that?" I could feel tears stinging behind my eyes. I needed to get away. I'd thought I could handle being back on campus, but now I was starting to doubt it. There was only one thing that was going to take my mind off Aaron, and that involved getting back to my room.
Reed rested his elbow on the table. "Juliet, you're in charge. I'll walk Cara home and be right back."
"Does that mean I'm supposed to stay too?" Mallory asked.
"Yes." Juliet grabbed Mallory's arm. "We love you, Cara. Try to get some sleep."
I forced a smile and headed for the door.
Reed caught up with me before the door closed behind me. "This situation sucks."
"Yeah, it does."
"But maybe you need to look at it differently. Maybe you're lucky."
I turned to look at him. "Lucky? I can't wait to hear this."
He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants. "Just that you found out now instead of months from now."
"Did you know?" I asked in barely a whisper. I'd have never asked in front of Juliet.
"No. I'd have made him tell you." Reed was telling the truth. He was just like that.
I nodded. "I figured that much, but I had to ask."
"So, who'd you have sex with on a beach?"
We turned onto my block. "You can't ask me that."
"Why not? We've known each other a long time."
"You're Aaron's best friend." I sped up as we passed the Kappa house.
"We're friends too, aren't we?" He matched my pace.
I nodded. "His name's Chase."
"Nice. Just know that I'm here if you need a guy to talk to or anything."
I stopped short two houses down from mine. "Why are you being so nice?"
"Because you've always rooted for me with Juliet, you're an amazing friend to her, and I care about you. What Aaron did sucks. There's no way around that, but you're going to get over him eventually."
"I'm already over him." At least I wanted to be.
"You might not want to be with him anymore, but you can't push away over a year of memories that quickly."
"How'd you get so sage? You sound like you're forty."
"Too much time with my uncle, I guess." He cracked a smile. "You going to be okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." I started toward my steps. "Thanks for the walk home. Tell Juliet and Mallory good night for me."