He waited a few minutes to make sure the boyfriend was well on his journey before knocking on the white UPVC door of the semi-detached house.
He could see Hannah’s figure approach the door through the glass. She opened the door and, on seeing John, closed it immediately. John resisted the urge to put his foot over the threshold. It wouldn’t be a smart move.
‘Go away, John. I don’t want to speak to you.’
‘Please, Hannah, give me a couple of minutes.’
‘If you don’t go away, I’ll get Ben. He’s in the back garden.’
John pressed his mouth close to the doorframe. ‘I’ve just watched him drive off to squash or badminton, or whatever it is he’s doing with a racquet and gym bag.’
The door opened a fraction. Hannah glared at him through the two-inch gap. ‘You have two minutes, starting now.’
‘Can I at least come in?’
‘Ten seconds gone already.’
She wasn’t budging. ‘Okay, here goes. Pavel Bolotnikov was arrested and charged with Neil’s murder last night. He wants to deal information to shorten his sentence. The powers that be have agreed, but we are still going to be pushing for a harsh jail term.’
‘Is that it? I saw it on the news last night. I’m not stupid, I worked it out myself.’ There was a slight wobble in her voice.
‘I also wanted to say sorry.’ John paused. ‘Sorry for creating a situation that put Neil in danger. Sorry for not being able to save him.’ He hesitated once more as he too heard his own voice crack a fraction. ‘And I’m sorry for giving you hassle about your new boyfriend. You deserve to be happy.’
Hannah opened the door wider. ‘He’s a good man, John,’ she said. ‘He loves me and adores Ella. We love him. He makes us happy. He makes us a family again.’ She reached out and put her hand on John’s arm. ‘It doesn’t mean that we don’t love Neil any more. I know you miss him and this thing has been eating you up. We all miss him too – every day – but we can’t live in limbo. And you shouldn’t either.’
John took Hannah’s hand in his. ‘I’m glad you’re happy. Really I am.’
‘I don’t suppose me telling you that you’re not to blame is something you haven’t been told before. Go easy on yourself.’
John returned the small smile she offered. ‘Yeah, thanks. You too.’ John let her hand fall away.
‘Goodbye, John.’
He turned away and heard the soft click of the door locking shut as he walked back down the path.
Standing in the park, watching Dimitri enjoy the challenges of balancing along a wooden log, Tina zipped up her jacket. The once-gentle breeze of autumn had defected over to winter, lacing its touch with icy-tipped fingers. She made a mental note to dig out their gloves and hats as she wiggled her fingers into her pockets to warm them up.
Dimitri didn’t seem to notice, his attention far too focused on the task, as he shuffled along the log, his arms outstretched.
‘Look at me, Mummy!’
‘Very good,’ she called back.
It was two days since she had seen the news item and still no word from John. Perhaps she hadn’t made it clear enough that she wanted to see him again. Maybe he had got cold feet. Or worse … perhaps now he had achieved his goal of arresting Pavel, he didn’t actually want her any more, despite what he had said when he left.
Something made her turn around; a sixth sense sort of feeling. She was alone in the park with Dimitri, the lateness of the afternoon, coupled with the cooler weather, deterring others from venturing out.
She shivered, aware that it wasn’t because of the cold. She turned a full three hundred and sixty degrees. Empty.
‘Mummy!’ Dimitri’s excited voice snapped her eyes directly onto her son.
He was waving at something behind him. Tina looked on. Her heart dive-bombed to her stomach and rebounded straight back up, taking her breath from her lungs.
‘John.’ Her voice a whisper that only she could hear. He’d come back.
He raised his hand and waved, before breaking into a jog and with a hand on the fence to the play area, hopped over the barrier. Dimitri ran towards him and John’s firm hands immediately lifted the boy up, spinning him around in the air.
‘Hey there, little fella,’ said John, putting him back down. ‘How are you?’
‘Can we play football?’
John gave an exaggerated look around the play area. ‘I’d love to, but I can’t see a football or a goal post.’
‘Come to our house. Play in our garden,’ said Dimitri, jumping up and down on the spot.
‘I’d love to come to your house.’ He looked over at Tina. ‘That’s if your mummy doesn’t mind.’