The Half Truth(9)

‘Yeah, fine. Look, can I give you a lift home?’

Hannah looked uncertain. ‘It’s okay, we’re fine walking.’ She hesitated. ‘Is everything really okay?’

‘Let me take you home,’ said John. ‘I do need to speak to you, but not here.’

‘Not at the house. Let’s walk. We can go via the park.’ She didn’t wait for John to agree, but took Ella’s hand and began walking. John had no choice but to follow.

The walk to the park took only five minutes but each second lay heavier than the previous. Tension swirled around them. Only Ella was oblivious to it as she proceeded to tell John all about High School Musical. Hannah didn’t speak and as John stole a glance at her from the corner of his eye, he could see the stiffness in her face, neck and shoulders.

Once at the park, Ella happily went off on the climbing frame and slide. John and Hannah sat on the bench watching but not really looking.

‘What is it you need to tell me?’ said Hannah. Straight to the point, no messing around.

‘Just to forewarn you that there’s been some development in the Porboski case.’

‘You mean in the murder case? Neil’s murder case.’ Her voice was sharp. ‘You can say it, John. There’s no point pretending it’s just the Porboski case. At the heart of it and the all-important part is the murder of Neil. It won’t break me if you say it. I’m not going to collapse in a heap simply because you’ve mentioned his name. Or what happened to him.’

John sat forward on the bench, resting his arms on his knees, bringing his hands together. ‘Yes, you’re right. Sorry.’

‘What’s happened, then? I’m guessing you didn’t come and see me personally purely to tell me that.’

‘Off the record, we think there’s a strong possibility Pavel Bolotnikov is back in the UK. We don’t know why but I wanted to give you the heads up, just in case.’

Now she looked at him. ‘Just in case what? Are we in some sort of danger?’ Her eyes flitted to Hannah and back to John.

John placed a hand over hers. ‘No, I don’t think that at all. We’re working on tracking him down right now, but I didn’t want you to hear it from somewhere else, especially if the press get hold of it.’

‘You could have just phoned. You didn’t need to make a special trip out to the backwater of Berkshire.’

‘I wanted to see you both. See how you were doing. Do you need anything? What about Ella? Is she okay for everything?’

Hannah moved her hand away. ‘You don’t have to do this, you know.’

‘Do what?’

‘Protect me. Look out for me. For Ella.’ She turned to face him now. ‘We’re not your responsibility. No. Don’t say anything. Listen, you were Neil’s partner. I was his wife. Ella his daughter. The most awful thing happened. Neil was killed. You’ve been great to us, John, you really have and the first few months, I’m sure I would have died myself had it not been for you. And for that I am truly grateful. But, you know what? We’ve come out the other side and Ella and I are doing great. You need to look after yourself, so you can come out the other side too.’

At that point Ella skipped over. ‘Can we go home, mummy? I’m hungry.’

‘Yes, come on, let’s go.’ Hannah rose from the bench and took her daughter’s hand.

‘Is John coming?’ said Ella. ‘He can meet Dan.’

John’s eyes snapped up to look at Hannah. A look of unease swept over her face. ‘Who’s Dan?’ said John.

‘Mummy’s friend. He bought me the bag,’ said Ella, running her finger and thumb up and down the strap.

John stood up. ‘Why didn’t you just say?’ His voice was cold despite the hot ember of anger igniting inside. Was he angry that she hadn’t told him about another bloke or was he angry because she was no longer the proverbial grieving widow, which ultimately meant she didn’t need him?

‘It’s none of your business, really,’ said Hannah, she raised her eyebrows. ‘The Met, the unit, my life as a widow are in the past, John. It’s been five years now. I can’t pause time any longer. If there’s something good that’s come from Neil’s death, it’s that more than ever I value my future, Ella’s future.’

‘With this … Dan.’

‘Maybe. Who knows? But I deserve some happiness and so does Ella.’ Hannah began walking away, she paused and looked over her shoulder. ‘You should be happy for us. Neil would want us to be happy.’

John didn’t say anything. He stood and watched Hannah and Ella walk away. What was there to say? He didn’t want the burden of Neil’s memory to carry on his own. He thought it was a load he shared with Hannah. How could he have closure and move on when Neil’s killer was still out there? When John’s own guilt ravaged his mind and conscience both day and night.