The Half Truth(85)

‘But you were also right when you said that ultimately, Sasha was responsible. He made the wrong choice at the very outset. I can see that now. I was wrong blaming you.’

‘You’re a very understanding woman, do you know that?’ Not for the first time, the breadth of her compassion and understanding, amazed him. ‘If I can bring Pavel in and charge him for murder, then I can at least have some sort of closure. I can give his wife some feeling of justice.’

‘Is it justice or forgiveness you’re looking for?’

God, she was perceptive.

‘Truthfully? Both.’ He paused before he spoke again. ‘From Neil’s wife … and …’ He couldn’t finish the sentence. It was too much to ask. She didn’t deserve to be put on the spot like that.

‘And from me.’ A statement, not a question.

He gave a small nod, forcing himself to look her in the eyes. He needed to see what she was really thinking, what she was feeling. Her look could say so much more than her words. He saw his answer before he heard it.

‘I forgive you. I really do.’ She held him and he felt like a child. He clung to her, a sob escaping his throat. ‘I understand the reasons behind the … the deceit. And I’m trying really hard, so very hard, to accept it. But, I do forgive you, John.’

At the sound of the back door opening and Dimitri’s voice calling out to his mother, John and Tina pulled apart. John drew his forefinger and thumb together under his eyes to remove any trace of tears.

Dimitri stood in front of them. He cocked his head sideways looking at John.

‘Your eyes are all red,’ he said.

‘Hay fever,’ said John, then stopped. ‘Actually, that’s not quite true. I was feeling a bit sad, but I’m okay now.’

‘Were you crying?’

John exchanged a look with Tina, a small smile of compassion rested on her mouth. John turned his attention back to Dimitri. ‘Yes, I was. Only a little, but your Mummy made me feel better.’ He forced a smile of reassurance.

‘Mummy gave me a plaster when I was sad and hurt myself.’

‘I needed a hug.’

‘Okay.’ Dimitri seemed satisfied. ‘Can we play football now?’

‘Yeah, sure.’ John smiled at the boy. He was glad he had been honest with him. Kids could be very accepting, this one, clearly, inheriting the trait from his mother. ‘There is one thing I wanted to say, while we are all here.’ He put a hand out to draw Dimitri further into them. The five-year-old sat himself on John’s knee. ‘I have to go away for a couple of weeks. It’s to do with work, but when I get back, I’d like to come and see you both again. If that’s okay?’

‘Work? A couple of weeks?’ Tina said, a look of alarm crossed her face. ‘A new case?’

John sighed. He wanted to be honest with her, but this was work and at this stage he couldn’t. He looked apologetically at Tina.

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.’ She waved her hand as if clearing the air of the question hanging between them.

Dimitri jumped up. ‘Let’s play football!’ He ran across the grass to the shed. ‘I’ll get the ball. You be in goal, John.’

‘Go on, John. Get in goal,’ said Tina, a smile tipped the corners of her mouth. ‘Do as you’re told.’

John jogged across the grass to where Dimitri was now waiting with the blue plastic football. His steps may have been light, but his heart was heavy. She hadn’t answered his question. Perhaps he had misjudged it all?





Chapter 44


Tina stood at the kitchen window watching John and Dimitri play football. The look of pleasure on her son’s face warmed her heart. The two of them looked so happy and natural together, it was a mutual friendship. Having a male role model was good for Dimitri. She acknowledged that John wasn’t perfect, but then she wasn’t naïve enough to believe that there was such thing as perfect. She might have done once upon a time, but not any more. Perfect was overrated. Good, happy, content were worth just as much; they were honest. Perfect wasn’t.

She thought of Rozalina and Nikolay and wondered what the future held for them. Relying on John’s boss organising the money wasn’t ideal but it was the only option. She picked up the photograph John had given her of Nikolay and took it into the living room. She wanted to keep it safe. One day she would show it to Dimitri and explain about his half-brother.

Tina opened the back of the photo frame with a picture of her and Sasha and tucked Nikolay behind them. A symbolic gesture of merging the two lives of Sasha, she decided. She went to put the frame back on the mantelpiece, but hesitated. Instead she placed it on the bookcase in the fireplace recess. No longer the focal point of her life. Another symbolic gesture.