A couple of passing pedestrians had stopped. One woman screamed. A man came over to offer his help. Suddenly, in a matter of seconds, a crowd had gathered around them.
Despite John’s instructions to stay put, Tina found herself running after him, Dimitri running along by her side, hand in hand.
She had felt frightened and vulnerable up on the steps – she needed to be with John. She needed to know that Sasha was safe.
As she clattered across the flagstone and into St Paul’s churchyard, she saw a crowd gathered around one of the benches. Her heart flipped and her legs suddenly felt heavy. Through a gap she could see John leaning over someone. She knew it was Sasha.
Pushing through, the sight that confronted her made her gasp. She pulled Dimitri to her, trying to shield his eyes. John was holding what looked like his jacket to Sasha’s chest, his fingers coated red with blood. Sasha looked pale, colour drained from his face.
‘Oh, my God!’ she gasped. She dropped to the bench beside Sasha, putting her arm around his shoulders. ‘Do something, John, please.’
She was aware of another woman leading Dimitri to one side. She could hear the woman chatting to her son, obviously distracting him and for that Tina was grateful.
‘The ambulance will be here any minute,’ said John.
Tina looked at Sasha, his lips were beginning to take on a blue tint, his breathing was more like a gurgle and the blood was already soaking through the makeshift dressing John’s jacket had provided. Sasha’s eyes rolled, his head flopped forwards.
‘Sasha! Sasha! Open your eyes!’ Tina tapped his face with her fingers. It seemed to have the desired effect. Sasha’s head came up and he tried to focus his eyes on Tina.
‘Look … after … boys,’ rasped Sasha.
‘Don’t try to speak,’ said John.
‘Promise … me,’ said Sasha.
Tina nodded. Her eyes filled with tears once more. ‘I promise, Sasha. I promise I will. Both of them. Dimitri and Nikolay.’
Sasha moved his hand to his jacket pocket. Even such a small action seemed exhausting for him. Strength, like blood, was seeping from him.
Tina looked down. His finger pointed to his pocket. Tina delved into the pocket, pulling out a stuffed toy; Billy the Bear. The toy that had gone missing from Dimitri’s room, the toy Sasha had bought for his unborn child; Sasha’s only connection to the son he was never able to know.
A tear seeped from the corner of Sasha’s eye. Tina began to cry too. Not big dramatic sobs, but gentle heart-breaking tears. They had said they loved one another back in the cathedral, but both knew that was in another time and place. Not in a cold London church yard with blood blooming red across a white shirt, colour draining from their faces, one as death beckoned and the other as heartbreak approached for a second time. She was losing Sasha all over again, this time there would be no return.
Chapter 40
The ride back to Sussex in John’s BMW was heavy with silence. Tina was sitting in the back with Dimitri as John drove them. Neither said anything. Tina wasn’t sure she could. She couldn’t quite believe what had happened. She wasn’t supposed to have her son’s life threatened and to see her husband die from a knife wound. Things like this didn’t happen to normal, everyday people like her.
Thankfully, Dimitri didn’t seem to be badly affected by it. He had asked if the man they had met was going to be okay and Tina had to gently explain that the doctors hadn’t been able to help him and that he had gone to heaven. Dimitri had nodded and then switched subjects, asking if Tina could read his pirate story as it was his favourite bedtime book. She had gladly obliged, hoping it would distract her, if only for a few minutes.
Tina had stayed with Dimitri until he had drifted off to sleep. She stroked his head, moving small strands of hair from his eyes. Tonight he looked even more like his father.
His father? She couldn’t really call Sasha his father. The hour at St Paul’s Cathedral today didn’t qualify Sasha to fulfil that definition. In fact, John had spent more time with Dimitri doing fatherly things. John was so natural with Dimitri, there seemed a genuine bond between boy and man, but she couldn’t help wonder how much of that was real and how much was for his job. The notion that John had betrayed her son, an innocent child, made her stomach clench.
Having now put Dimitri to bed, Tina came downstairs. John was sitting in the living room, Rascal was stretched out on the sofa next to him, thoroughly enjoying the belly-rub John was administering.
‘He’s gone straight to sleep,’ said Tina. She sat down in the armchair.
‘That’s good,’ said John. He stopped stroking Rascal and sat forward on the sofa. ‘How are you?’