The Half Truth(74)

‘One… Two… Three…Four…’ Dimitri recommenced his counting.

Sasha raised an eyebrow in amusement at Tina and, taking her hand in his, continued the climb.

‘Will you do it?’ he asked, without looking at her.

‘I don’t know.’ It was an honest answer. Tina didn’t know whether you could or should. It was, after all, illegal money. Blood money. It had the death of John’s colleague on it. ‘If I do this, then I am not only handling stolen money but, more importantly, I am part of the murder of that police officer.’

‘That was not meant to happen. I swear to you on the life of my son.’ He paused before adding, ‘both my sons.’

‘What exactly happened that day?’ It was something that had plagued her. Something terrible must have gone wrong, otherwise why would John have reacted so badly to her questioning? He had overacted and it was so out of character for him, she had never dared ask him again. And what of the nightmares he had? She was convinced these were to do with the robbery, but again he refused to discuss them.

‘You mean you do not know?’ Sasha stopped on the steps and turned to look at her.

Tina shook her head. ‘Not really. Tell me.’

Sasha took her arm once more and began climbing the steps. ‘Come.’

Finally they reached the Whispering Gallery. Tina looked down over the railings at the black-and-white-tiled floor more than ninety feet beneath her. She gripped onto the black iron railings and looked up at the domed ceiling above her. Rectangles of light shone through the panes of glass, which stood like soldiers around the edge of the dome. Above that the painted ceiling gave an illusion of continued architecture. Illusions. Lies and untruths. She was surrounded by them. Was she ever going to find out the truth about what happened that day?

‘Mummy!’ Dimitri’s voice broke her thoughts. He was tugging at her sleeve. ‘Show me the whispering magic.’

‘Okay. I’ll sit here and you go along to the end there, as far as that doorway and then put your mouth close to the wall and whisper something to me.’ Tina sat on the stone seat that curved its way around the wall of the balcony.

‘I’ll take you,’ said Sasha. He held out his hand to Dimitri. Tina watched as father and son walked around the ledge, hand in hand. She felt her heart break yet again.

Tina placed her ear to the cold Portland stone. The little whisper from her son floated round. ‘Hello, Mummy.’ She smiled and placed her mouth to the wall, waiting for Dimitri, under instruction from Sasha, to rest his ear against his end of the wall.

‘Hello, darling. Can you hear me?’

‘Yes!’ called out Dimitri, forgetting to whisper against the wall. Tina and Sasha exchanged a look and laughed. For a moment it put the broken pieces of her heart back together. She could buy into the illusion that they were just a normal family enjoying a day out. What a bittersweet moment; one that wouldn’t … couldn’t … be repeated again. The trick of the eye splintered into tiny fragments, dissolving into dust mites that swarmed in the light from the windows above.

Tina leaned the side of her head back against the wall, waiting for Dimitri to speak, but instead he sat on the stone seat, sliding his bottom from left to right. She closed her eyes to the sadness that was beginning to overwhelm her.

‘We have a wonderful son. You have made me very proud.’ The words scuttled round the wall to Tina’s ear. Her eyes snapped open and she looked across at Sasha. In his eyes she saw a sadness as deep as the drop below her.

A tear sprang from nowhere and cascaded down her cheek. She put her lips to the wall and waited for Sasha to do the same with his ear.

‘You have missed so much.’ More tears fell, one after the other and she swallowed down a sob. ‘All I ever wanted was for us to be a family, but I was robbed of that. Never at any point did I ever suspect it was you who was responsible for committing that crime against us.’

She brushed the tears away from her face and stood up. ‘Let’s go outside,’ she called over to Dimitri. He jumped up and ran over to her. ‘We have to go up this tiny spiral staircase now,’ said Tina as she ducked through the opening in the wall and, despite the ache in her legs from the first flight, moved swiftly up the stone steps. She needed fresh air. Lots of it.

The breeze was stronger and colder up on the terraced area. Tina looked out at the London skyline. She could see the Millennium Bridge they had crossed earlier and, walking round towards the front of the cathedral, the London Eye came into focus.

‘Can we go on the big wheel?’ said Dimitri, coming to stand by her side. He peered through the balustrades.