‘I need to see Tina,’ said Sasha.
John’s body tensed involuntarily. Sasha with Tina, not a prospect he particularly liked. ‘No can do.’
They were sitting in the living room of De Beauvoir Square. It was dark outside and neither man was really concentrating on the football match playing on the TV.
‘If I cannot see her, I need to speak to her,’ persisted Sasha.
John let out a sigh. ‘What for? You’ve had plenty of opportunity to say what you need to say to her.’
‘I appreciate your desire to protect her, but I want to say my goodbyes.’
‘Your goodbyes?’
‘If I am to help you and give you the information you need, then I am sure I will not get a chance to see her again. If you are moving me to another house, how do I know where that will be and when it will happen? For all I know, this may be my last chance to speak to her. Ever.’
‘I’ll pass on a message.’
‘No.’ Sasha shifted to the edge of his chair. ‘I understand that you care about her and I am grateful. I know you will look after her. I have come to understand that from now on my life will change in such a way that I will never have the chance to speak to her again. I will never have the chance to say goodbye to her and my son. I want her to know that I am sorry. I want her to hear it from my own mouth. I want her to forgive me. This I cannot do through a message.’
John was silent for a long time as he considered Sasha’s request. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t let Sasha have any contact with Tina again, but he knew that Tina might not appreciate this line of thought.
‘You can speak to her on the phone. One phone call and that’s it. Understood?’
‘Thank you.’
The phone trilled next to her, making Tina jump. She glanced at the clock, it was gone ten. Tina picked up her mobile.
‘John Calling’ flashed across the screen.
Tina’s stomach turned one way and then back again. She had sent the text message four hours ago and was just about to give up hope of him replying, making the excuse that he was probably busy with work, although she knew that a simple text to say he would call later wouldn’t have been too difficult.
Tina accepted the call.
‘Hello.’
‘Hi, it’s John. How are you?’
‘Okay. I think. You?’
‘About the same.’ A slight pause before John spoke again. ‘I’m phoning because Sasha wants to speak to you.’ Tina acknowledged the small feeling of deflation that John wasn’t calling to speak to her, but this was knocked into touch by the spike of anxiety that Sasha did. ‘Tina? You still there? Did you hear me?’
‘Yes, sorry. Okay, I’ll speak to him.’ Another pause – Tina sensed John was still there. ‘John?’
‘I haven’t forgotten you,’ he said. ‘It’s just now is not the right time.’ This time the pause that came was accompanied by the sound of the phone being passed from one person to another.
‘привет.’ Sasha’s voice was low and tender. ‘Kak pozhivaesh?
‘I’ve been better.’
‘I am sorry. I wanted to see you to speak to you in person, but it is not possible.’
‘What did you want?’
‘It is difficult.’
Tina sensed that Sasha wanted to say something but couldn’t – either because he just didn’t know how to express himself or possibly because John was there.
‘Is it difficult to talk? Is John there?’
‘Yes, as I said, it is difficult.’
She listened as Sasha put his hand over the receiver and heard his muffled voice asking John for some privacy.
‘Still a little difficult,’ he said to her after a moment. ‘I wish I could see you to talk to you in person. Do you remember that time when we first met and we went for a walk on the wobbly bridge?’
Tina thought for a moment. ‘The wobbly bridge? Do you mean in London – the Millennium Bridge?’
‘Yes, that is right.’
‘What about it?’
‘Do you remember where we went after that?’
Tina cast her mind back. It was a Sunday – they hadn’t been seeing each other for very long. They had decided to have a day as tourists. The London Eye, a walk along the South Bank, across the bridge and then to the cathedral.
‘We went to St Paul’s,’ she said.
‘That is right, we went to the cathedral. When you go again tomorrow at midday, think of me and I shall be with you.’
‘I’m not going tomorrow. Why are you saying that?’
‘So, you see Tina, I am truly sorry. I only wish I could see you in person. I wish I could hold Dimitri for the first and last time.’