The Good Wife(87)
“Is he really that attractive?”
Lauren nodded. “And he’s tall. Built. Serious muscles. The girls at work call him Spartacus.”
“The girls? I thought all your waitresses were senior citizens.”
Lauren laughed. “Most of them are, but we do have a few younger ones, and young and old have nicknamed him Spartacus due to him being gorgeous and looking like a gladiator.”
Lisa fanned herself. “Keep going.”
Lauren rolled her eyes. “See? That’s why I wouldn’t date him even if he were single. But since he’s not, I can be his friend and enjoy his company. And I do. I feel good around him. Safe.”
“Aha!” Lisa cried, and again Audrey looked up, confused.
Unable to resist, Lauren leaned forward and gently stroked the back of the baby’s head. Her head was warm, her dark hair silky. Lauren’s heart turned over. So amazing, the miracle of life.
“You don’t have to act flirtatious around him to get into trouble,” Lisa said after a moment. “Just caring for him is dangerous.”
“How?”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Don’t be rude!” Lauren retorted.
“You’re too pretty,” Lisa said bluntly.
“I’m not.”
“You are. But you avoid the mirror, so you don’t know how you look, but you’re beautiful, inside and out, and I’m telling you this straight up so you will realize that not many women—make that not any woman—is going to want you hanging around her man.”
Lauren’s insides churned. She fussed with a button on her thin knit sweater. She didn’t want to hurt any woman. She certainly didn’t want to hurt a marriage.
“So what do I do? Tell him he can’t come to the café anymore?”
“Yes. Or you put him in someone else’s section and you keep him at arm’s length. Limit chitchat. Don’t smile too much. Don’t be too warm. Don’t act happy to see him.” Lisa’s gaze rested on Lauren’s face and she registered the flicker of emotion that crossed Lauren’s features. “Have you really fallen that hard for him, Lu-Lu?” she said, reverting to the name she’d given Lauren when she was just a baby.
Lauren tugged on the small button. “Haven’t fallen. Possibly falling.”
“Then stop falling right now.” Lisa’s voice was stern, and it put a lump in Lauren’s throat.
Lisa put the baby on her shoulder and began patting her back. “There’s a pattern here. You see it, right? And you nailed it when you said you went for safe. You really do.”
Lauren bit down.
“You go for guys who can’t hurt you,” Lisa continued. “Guys already committed elsewhere. Damien—gay. Which made him safe. This guy at your work, married, which makes him safe. So why like a hot guy who is single when you can fall for a married man who can’t pursue you, or reject you, because he’s already got a woman?”
“That’s silly. I don’t think that way—”
“Oh, you do, absolutely you do, and have since John smashed your heart when you were seventeen. But honestly, Lauren, he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t. The asshole took your virginity in a friggin’ shed!”
Lauren’s eyes bugged open. “You read my diary!”
“Of course I read your diary. I’ve read every word you ever wrote.”
Lauren spluttered indignantly. “That’s wrong.”
“Okay, it was. Sorry about that. But the point is, he was an asshole when he first had sex with you, and an asshole when he and his richy-rich folks insisted you terminate the pregnancy, and an asshole when he never acknowledged Blake’s birth, or death, so we know what we’re dealing with. An asshole.
“And we know this, definitively,” Lisa continued, nowhere close to being done talking. “He’s on his second marriage—his first wife has nothing nice to say about him. I read the interview with her in Redbook magazine a couple of months back—and you are lucky, Lauren Summer, lucky to be free of him. John wouldn’t have added a damn thing to your life. In fact, from what his ex-wife said in the interview, he would have just sucked you dry, the way he sucked her soul and spirit from her. So move on. Not all men are like John. There are really nice ones out there. I know. I married one. Matthieu is wonderful—” She broke off as Audrey burped. Lisa smiled, pleased, before concluding, “. . . but not perfect. We have our fights. Our problems. But I like him. A lot.”
“That’s good. Because you married him.”
“I did. And I want you to have what I have, but you can’t, you won’t, not if you don’t put yourself out there. You’re going to have to take some risks. Open yourself up to hurt, and rejection. Give up the need for safe.”