The Good Wife(14)
“Smart-ass,” Jack muttered as JJ disappeared, before glancing at Meg. “Does he really have straight A’s?”
“He has a B right now in physics, but the rest are A’s,” Meg said evenly, her expression serene.
“His grades weren’t that good last year, were they?”
“It’s his junior year. He’s taking school seriously this year.”
“It’s about time.”
Meg opened her mouth to answer, but closed it without speaking, shaping her lips into a small, pleasant smile.
Jack stared at her moodily a moment, fingers drumming the table, before abruptly rising and stalking out.
“Wow,” Sarah said quietly once Jack was out of earshot. “That was . . . weird.”
Meg’s serene expression melted, leaving her features naked and sad. She swallowed and picked at a bit of frayed lace in the tablecloth. “It’s . . . uh . . . yeah.”
“What’s going on?”
She shrugged. “This.”
“For how long has it been going on?”
“Months.”
“How do you stand it?”
Meg made a soft sound, her shoulders lifting, falling. “I love my kids. I love my family. I want to keep us together.”
Sarah glanced toward the door, making sure everyone was gone. “Do you still love Jack?” she whispered, remembering Jack’s words last night in the kitchen at her parents’ house. “I care for Meg,” he’d said. Not “I love Meg,” and it’d been bothering her ever since. But this wasn’t a conversation she’d want any of the kids to hear, particularly Meg and Jack’s. JJ, Tessa, and Gabi had been through enough this past year.
Meg hesitated, thinking, then nodded. “I do.”
“Romantically? Sexually?”
Now Meg squirmed. “He’s the father of my children.”
“But do you want him?”
“Yes.” Meg frowned. “I mean . . . if he wants me. But I don’t think he does. And I don’t think he has. Not for a long time.”
“Since your . . . affair?”
Meg stared off across the dining room, her brow knitted. “Since before. It’s like he’s lost his . . . drive. It’s been gone awhile. Couple of years maybe.”
“Do you think he’s having a midlife crisis? Apparently men’s hormones change around forty, too.”
“My friend Farrell said the same thing. Her husband went out and got Botox and joined a gym and bought a new car at forty. She was convinced he was having an affair.”
“Was he?”
“Not that she knew, and she hired a PI to follow him.”
“She didn’t!”
Meg nodded, smiled wistfully. “The PI found nothing. Apparently Jeremy just felt old, and he didn’t like it.”
Sarah studied her sister for a long moment, thinking it’d been months, maybe years, since she’d seen Meg really, truly happy. “Does Jack still love you?”
Meg fiddled with her knife, and then her teaspoon, and then touched the frayed thread in the tablecloth again. “I would hope so.”
“That doesn’t sound very confident.”
Meg looked quickly at Sarah and then back down. “We have children. They deserve stability. I’m trying to focus on what they need.”
“But the kids—”
“I know,” Meg interrupted fiercely, staring Sarah in the eye, her expression almost defiant. “You’re right. I should have remembered them before. I should have thought about the consequences then. But I didn’t. I didn’t.” She swallowed, shrugged, her expression no longer defiant but regretful. “And they’re paying the price. We are all paying the price. But I can’t give up, Sarah. Won’t. I can fix this. Us. And I will.”
“What if . . .” Sarah paused, struggling to voice what had been bothering her all night and morning.
“What, Sarah?”
“What if . . . Jack . . . doesn’t want it fixed?”
Meg jerked upright. “Did he say something to you?”
Sarah flushed. “No. But I also know, from being on the . . . other side . . . of things, that it takes two to make a marriage work. You can’t do it alone. You need him to meet you halfway.”
Meg said nothing, her lips pressed tightly together, but Sarah felt her pain, and she reached across the table to cover Meg’s hand.
“I’m not judging you, Meg,” she said softly. “Maybe last year I did, but I was caught off guard. Shocked, and surprised that you of all people would cheat—” Sarah broke off as Meg winced. “Affairs are just so hard on a relationship. They shatter trust and make you question everything. Like your commitment to this other person. As well as your desire. Do you really want to be with him or her forever? Do you need to be?” Sarah shrugged. “I went through all of that with Boone after I found out about his affair. I’m still going through it. It’ll be three years this summer, and I’m still struggling, but I’m also still with him, because I love him. I’m crazy about him.” Her smile wavered. “Maybe too crazy.”