The Glassblower(127)

“Not so fast there. As I remember, you had something to do with it as well,” Johanna said. “You made a dreadful scene when all she did was tease you a bit. You’re not usually so sensitive. And the way you make such a song and dance about keeping your letters secret. If this Steven is only writing about the contract as you claim, then why can’t we read them too? The way you’re carrying on, anyone would think there was something else going on between you and Mr. Miles.” It was not the first time the thought had crossed Johanna’s mind, but until that moment, she had always thought it far too unlikely to bring up. But as soon as she saw Ruth glance sullenly away, it didn’t seem so unlikely after all.

“Oh no,” Johanna groaned. “You’ve fallen in love with that American. Ruth, please tell me it’s not true!” Johanna had an overwhelming urge to get up and walk away as though the whole conversation had never taken place.

“I don’t know whether I’ve fallen in love with him,” Ruth said, suddenly embarrassed. “Sometimes I think I have,” she added, just as naturally as if they talked about it every day. “But then I think I can’t possibly have! I mean, I’ve only even met the man once.”

For a moment Johanna felt a twinge of hope. Love at first sight—that was just for fairy tales. Even a child knew that.

“Back when I was in love with Thomas, I felt as though there were a thousand ants marching through my belly. All he had to do was look at me, and I flushed hot and cold. Ha! I can hardly believe there was a time when I couldn’t wait for him to kiss me. That changed soon enough.” Ruth laughed bitterly.

“But it’s different with Steven.” Her voice became soft. “I feel we have a real connection even though we’ve hardly touched. And he’s so polite and responsive that I sometimes think he can read my mind. For instance he told the waiter to open the window before I could even mention that I wanted some fresh air. And then he ordered a coffee for me after the meal. He had no way of knowing what a coffee fiend I am.” Ruth’s eyes shone. “And his letters! He writes so wonderfully that I feel I already know him. I only hope I’m not making a fool of myself with all the nonsense I scribble down. You know quite well that I was never much for reading and writing.”

With every sentence she spoke, Johanna’s heart sank further. Her sister had it bad, worse than Ruth even realized herself. Although Johanna had the feeling that she should say something to put the whole matter in perspective, nothing came to mind. “Even though we’ve hardly touched”—well, at least the worst had not yet happened.

Quite without warning, Ruth reached across the table and took Johanna’s hand.

“I’m so happy I can finally talk about it all. Perhaps I should have told you ages ago. But . . .” She shrugged. “It’s all so personal, somehow.” She smiled that blissful smile again. “Perhaps Steven wouldn’t even want me talking about him like this. A matter of trust, do you understand?”

Johanna nodded, saying nothing, and Ruth seemed content with that.

“He’s such a good listener. I would never have thought you could actually talk to a man the way we talked. He’s a bit like Peter, in fact, just not so . . . matter-of-fact. He—” She broke off. “Oh, I really can’t explain. At any rate, I’ve never felt so safe and happy with anyone.” She sighed. “With Thomas I was never sure whether he really meant any of his compliments, because they were only ever about one thing. But I believe every word from Steven. Although . . .” Ruth laughed, embarrassed, and her cheeks flushed pink. “I do wonder what a businessman and man of the world like him sees in me.”

Johanna couldn’t sit and listen in silence any longer.

“You and your daydreams,” she said, interrupting her sister. “It wasn’t so long ago that you were in raptures over Thomas just the same way, and look what came of that. Just stop and think for a moment. You’re married, and you have a child. You live here in the Thuringian Forest, while this man lives in New York. There are worlds between you. Even if he did have some feelings for you . . . what could possibly come of it?” Johanna felt a growing urge to grab Ruth by the shoulders and give her a good hard shake.

“I don’t know,” Ruth cried miserably. “And I don’t even want to think about it. All I know is that I can hardly wait to see him again when he comes to collect our wares from Sonneberg. That’s why nothing must go wrong with this order! I can’t stand the thought.”