“Well…yeah, definitely…is it that simple?” I ask.
“Pretty much,” she says, crossing her arms and then looking up at me, a funny knowing look in her eyes. “I have a good feeling about you. I like you, have since I first met you.”
I nod happily, I like her too. “What about your brother…Ben…won’t he want to meet me first?”
“Nah,” she says, pffting her lips slightly and waving her hand dismissively. I laugh.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’m the boss of him,” she says teasingly, her voice full of warmth and humor. “He’s a good big brother, he lets me have what I want. Besides, he knows I’m always right about these things.”
“These things?” I ask, confused.
“Things you should trust your gut on,” she says as if it’s the most simple truth around. I smile. I like her more every time she opens her mouth. “So, move in tomorrow…sometime after noon?” she half asks, half commands.
“Yes,” I say definitively and shake her hand again, trying to find just the right amount of pressure. I don’t want to scare her away now with crazy hulk strength. I have this feeling she’s going to be my best friend, and I’m shocked by how badly I want that.
Just as we’re finishing our handshake, Ben comes tumbling through the door, carrying an impossible armload of groceries. Liesel springs up to help him and I follow. Liesel takes a bag from him and I take four and as I do so he looks up at me.
“Um…hey?” he says.
Liesel, already on her way to the kitchen with the bag, shouts back. “Ben, Bonnie; Bonnie, Ben.”
I smile, trying not to be too much of an intruder. “Hi Ben.”
“Hi,” he says. “I’d offer to shake…but neither of us have the hands for it.”
He has the same warm presence as his sister. Soft and sweet, but clever. I follow him into the kitchen and help them unpack their groceries as Liesel chats us up.
“So, I told Bonnie she could have the extra bedroom. She’s gonna move in tomorrow,” she says and Ben nods, as if he doesn’t mind and isn’t surprised. Liesel hands me a jar of jam and elbows Ben, “Watch this. Hey Bonnie can you put that up in that top cupboard?” I reach up easily and set the jar on the otherwise bare shelf.
“Oh, brilliant!” Ben says, genuinely delighted.
“We’re terrible people,” Liesel says. “We’re totally using you for your height.”
Ben raises his hand and wiggles his fingers as if showing it off. “But if you ever need someone with itty bitty bones to reach into a tiny space to retrieve something you’ve dropped…we’re your people!”
“Deal,” I say, feeling at home with them already and wondering if this is, more than what friendship feels like, what family feels like.
•
I pick him because he looks a little bit like Adrian.
His eyes especially remind me of Adrian. His hair is a little too long, but it’s close. His name is Stan. We’re at some stupid rave club and he’s dense and pretty, which if I had planned this, is exactly what I would have had in mind. I pick him up without speaking a word, which I have to say, even I’m impressed by. I grab him by the lapels of his jacket and kiss him hard. When I release him, he’s full of bumbling words. I keep a hold on his jacket and drag him out of the club with me. He’s shouting to his friends things like “I guess she likes me!” and “I’ll see you guys later.” Putting all kinds of innuendo into words that don’t have any business having innuendo. I’m hoping he knows how to shut up for more than two minutes so I can get this over with. He’ll only be the second person I’ve ever slept with, if I can manage this, and I don’t want anyone to suspect I’m nervous about it, but I am. I’d thought, after Adrian, maybe I’d just never do it again, that maybe that was my one and only chance at love, and with love, sex. Maybe nobody gets a second shot at love, but maybe especially a girl like me. All the same, I didn’t expect to take anyone home, but when I suddenly saw a bit of Adrian in Stan I couldn’t seem to help myself. So, it’s me and Stan, The Innuendo Idiot, together trying to wipe away the memory of Adrian.
When we get out onto the street he stumbles forward into me and I push him off a bit.
“Do you have a car?” I ask.
“No, I came with my friend, Mark.”
“Okay, we’ll take my bike.”
“You have a motorcycle?”
“Yeah.” I start walking to where my bike is parked and Stan follows a few paces behind and I hear him whisper “Hot” and I consider calling the whole thing off.