We reach the foot of the hill and Kerry slows the Triumph down, coming to a gentle stop. I hop off the back and nearly fall over, my legs have a jelly-like feel to them. Kerry laughs and puts out a hand to steady me.
‘Here, let me do that for you.’ Pulling me towards him, he fiddles with the chinstrap. I’m suddenly aware of how very close we are. His face only inches from mine. His hand brushes the underside of my jaw as he works the strap free. He pauses. When he speaks, his voice is soft. ‘How was the ride?’
Aware my heart is racing and my throat dry, I somehow manage to force a response. ‘Amazing.’
‘That’s what they all say,’ he replies.
For a second I think he’s going to kiss me. If I’m honest, I hope he does. However, he lets go of the straps and slides the helmet from my head. Jumping off his bike he tugs my arm. ‘Come on, let’s walk to the top.’
We walk up the steep grass bank that leads to the very top of the hill. The old croft has taken a beating from the coastal elements over the years. One half of the roof is completely caved in. The door and windows are boarded up now.
‘What have you done with Skip today?’ I ask.
‘He’s with Joe,’ says Kerry. ‘I can’t exactly bring him on the bike and I don’t like leaving him on his own. Storm loves him and he’s got the garden to run around in.’ After a few more minutes’ walking, we reach the very top of the hill. ‘You get a great view of the Irish Sea from here,’ says Kerry, shielding his eyes from the sun.
Standing behind me, his hands rest on my shoulders. He lowers his head so his line of sight is level with mine, our faces touch. Once again I’m very aware of our closeness. It’s difficult to concentrate.
Kerry is now pointing across the hill. If I lean back I will be in the crook of his shoulder. He carries on pointing out landmarks, oblivious to the intimacy of our bodies.
‘Now, if you turn slightly, over that way is Cork.’ Like the wind blowing a weather vane, he leans into me and turns my body. ‘Over there, you can see where the estuary comes in and Half Penny Bridge. And if we turn all the way round, we have the beautiful rolling countryside.’
We stand together, silently admiring the scenery and I secretly enjoy being in such close proximity with him. We’ve barely been out of physical contact since I got on the bike.
‘You can see for miles up here,’ I say. ‘It’s a beautiful view. Funny how I never really appreciated it all the times I came up here as a teenager.’
‘We had far more important things on our mind in those days,’ says Kerry. ‘Like getting drunk. Having a smoke. Making out. But you’re right. It is beautiful up here. I really appreciate the view today.’
I can feel his warm breath on the side of my cheek. I have no doubt what will happen if I look at him. Even before I am fully facing him, his lips are on mine. More forceful than I expect. More demanding. And definitely more exciting.
Kerry pulls me even closer, our bodies fusing together from top to bottom as his hand slips under my t-shirt, his fingers spreading wide across the bare skin of my back. Oh God, help me. I’m sure if he wants to, I’ll have sex with him right here on top of the hill.
Fortunately, the need to breathe imposes a brief embargo on the kissing, breaking the tension. With that, I feel a pang of guilt surge through me. I close my eyes, willing it away.
‘I think it’s at this point I should be saying I’m sorry and what just happened was a mistake,’ I say, looking intently at his jacket zip.
‘But you’re not.’
‘No, I’m not, but let’s pretend that never happened.’ As if it was going to be that easy, I think.
Kerry seems to be weighing up the suggestion. After a moment he speaks. ‘I’m not very good at pretending, but I’ll give it a go if that’s what you want.’ His trails his fingers through a lock of my hair and exhales deeply.
I peel myself away. Despite my change in feelings about Ed, I am officially still in relationship with him. I have no intention of overlapping with Kerry, no matter how appealing the idea is.
We sit on the grass looking down the hillside. I’m pleased to be able to take off the leather jacket, even though I only have a t-shirt on underneath. Kerry lies down on the grass, propping himself up on one elbow while I sit with my knees up, resting back on my hands. I tip my head back to soak up the warm rays of sunshine.
‘It’s so peaceful and quiet up here.’
‘I’ll make a country girl out of you yet.’ Kerry gives a small chuckle. He plucks a blade of grass and begins twirling it around his finger. ‘This is actually one of my favourite spots. It’s a great place to come if you have something on your mind and need some thinking space. You get a clarity you can’t get when everyone and everything is buzzing around.’