‘You’re my mammy?’ she says.
‘That’s right.’
Sophie considers this information. The words weigh heavy in the room. ‘What about Molly? Are you her mammy too?’
‘No,’ I say. ‘I’m not Molly’s mummy, but I love her as if I was. The same way I love you. The same way Mummy and Daddy love her and the same way they love you.’
‘What about my daddy?’ says Sophie looking up at Sean.
‘Sean is your daddy, in the same way as Fiona is your mummy,’ I say. ‘But the daddy who I loved when I became pregnant with you, he was killed in a car accident. That’s how I came to be on my own when you were born. And that’s one of the reasons why I couldn’t look after you alone. I needed the help of my family – your family.’
‘Do I have to go and live with you now?’ says Sophie. Her voice is brave, but I can see in her eyes she’s frightened. My heart breaks and mends itself all in one moment.
Living with me is not what she wants. My heart breaks.
Living with her mummy, daddy and her sister is what she does want. My heart mends.
I don’t want to take her away from everything she has known. I don’t want to cause my sister and her husband pain beyond words. I don’t want to break the family. All I’ve ever wanted is to keep the family together and by not keeping Sophie I have managed to do that. We, as a family, have done that. What right am I to ruin the bond we have created?
‘No, darling,’ I say. ‘You don’t have to come and live with me if you don’t want to. You can stay right here with Mummy, Daddy and Molly. You can come and stay with me if you want, the same way Molly can. And if ever in the future you want to do things differently,’ I cast a glance at Fiona to make sure I have her blessing. She gives a small smile that tells me I’m doing okay. I turn back to Sophie. ‘If you change your mind, we can sit down again, all of us and talk about it. Just like we’re doing now.’
The relief floods her face and she buries her head against Sean’s arm. Fiona wipes tears away. She passes me a tissue for my own and I’m sure Sean is blinking furiously to stop his from falling.
It takes a few minutes, but we all manage to compose ourselves.
‘There is one other thing,’ says Fiona.
I know what it is. It’s the thorny issue of the Marshall family. We wanted to tell Sophie another day, when she had had time to digest and understand her new family history. But Roisin is intent on telling her mother straight away. We have no choice but to push on now.
Sean sits Sophie up and gives her a reassuring smile. ‘Listen to what your mother has to say.’
‘Your daddy, the young man that Erin had you with, he lived here in Rossway,’ says Fiona. ‘He had a mammy and a daddy and a sister.’
Sophie nods. I don’t think she realises the implications.
‘The thing is, Sophie,’ I say. ‘You know that Nanny is your mummy’s mum, the same way she is my mum. And you know your Nanny Keane is your daddy’s mum.’ Sophie nods. ‘Because you had another daddy, and he had a family, that makes them your family too.’
‘I have a new family?’ says Sophie.
‘That’s right. Another nanny and granddad and another aunty.’
We all watch while she takes in this new information.
‘Is that Roisin’s family?’
‘That’s right. Roisin is your aunty and her mammy and daddy are your nanny and granddad,’ says Sean.
‘I have a big family now,’ she says at last. ‘I’m not sure if I like Roisin.’
‘Well, now, the thing is,’ says Sean, ‘Roisin has been very sad for a long time. Sometimes when you’re that sad, you do things that aren’t very nice. It’s a bit like being unwell. Your mind doesn’t let you behave as you should.’
‘Roisin is unwell?’
‘She was, but she’s going to be okay,’ I say. ‘You may have to give her another chance.’ The words spike at my heart. I feel like a traitor saying such things, but I know for Sophie to move on and accept her new history, she cannot have any negative feelings about the Marshalls. We all have to move past this point for Sophie’s sake if nothing else.
She picks up the iPad. ‘Can I finish my game now?’
For a second we are all a bit stunned. That’s it? That’s how a ten-year-old takes the news she has a new family. I’m not sure it’s sunk in yet, but I feel whatever she has taken on board is enough for the time being.
‘Can we all have one big group hug?’ I say. Sophie pulls a face, but Sean laughs and pulls his daughter towards him.