Roisin stands up, her face contorts. ‘Don’t you dare lecture me about what my mother may or may not feel. You have absolutely no idea.’ She pauses, the muscles in her face relax and she sits down again. A contemptuous looks descends upon her. ‘Not nice is it? Thinking you’ve lost someone you love. Knowing you’ve lost someone is even worse. I thought you Hurley girls needed a taste of your own medicine; to know what fear really tastes like, to feel that pain of losing a child. Not nice, is it?’
‘Is that what this little stunt is all about? Was that it? Or is there something else in that warped mind of yours?’ Sophie’s arms slip around my waist. She gives a little whimper.
‘Now we’re getting down to the nitty gritty,’ says Roisin. ‘What I want is the truth about Sophie. Nothing more, nothing less. I want you to confess to what you and your sister did. I want Sophie to be part of my family, her family. The Marshalls are as much her family as the Hurleys and, you, Erin, have denied her that. You and your family have kept her a secret from us for all this time.’ She comes to stand in front of me.
‘Stop, Roisin,’ I say. I draw Sophie behind me, aware that she is listening to every word Roisin is saying. ‘Not here.’
‘You should have thought about that before,’ says Roisin. ‘You had absolutely no right to do what you did. No right whatsoever. She is my brother’s child. My brother who died because of you.’
‘So, what now?’ I ask, wanting to prevent Sophie hearing any more of Roisin’s ranting.
‘You and I go to the solicitors and make this all official. I want it in writing that you will let us, that’s my family, have regular contact with Sophie. That my mum can see her, the child can stay with her, she can take her out, treat her exactly like she should as a grandmother.’
I nod, ignoring the pain that’s racing to my heart. I don’t want to share Sophie with Diana Marshall. She didn’t want her in the first place. What if she doesn’t want her now? ‘Does your mum know?’ I ask.
‘Not yet. But that’s none of your business anyway. What do you care about my mam? You never bothered about her feelings when you went off to England.’
‘She didn’t deserve to know, then,’ I say. ‘She didn’t want me to have the baby in the first place. What I told you before, that she wanted me to have an abortion, was true.’ The words blurt out before I have time to check myself.
‘You’re a liar,’ says Roisin.
‘Why would I lie about that? Why would I continue to lie, when you’re about to tell your mum?’ I stand my ground; we are inches apart. For the first time I see an uncertainty in her eyes.
‘My mam would never agree to an abortion,’ she says.
‘Your mother did not want to ruin Niall’s chances at university,’ I reply. ‘If she hadn’t been so set on Niall having a glittering career, one that she could be proud of, one that she could show off about, then we wouldn’t have had to run away.’ Sophie moves further behind me, but I barely register this. All I can focus on is Roisin.
‘If you had gone along with what she wanted then you wouldn’t have had to run away!’ Roisin is shouting, but her voice is full of raw emotion. ‘If you hadn’t run away then you wouldn’t have had the accident.’ She pushes me in the shoulder. I stumble back. For a moment I think I’m going to stumble over Sophie, but she moves quickly to the side, sinking into the corner. Once again I am back to focusing on Roisin. It all happens in a few seconds. I regain my balance and I return the shove. Roisin grabs my arm and for a moment we engage in some sort of strange rocking-from-side-to-side motion, like two Sumo wrestlers getting ready to start throwing each other about.
‘Not again,’ groans Kerry and then he’s forcing his way between us. Joe grabs at Roisin.
‘That’s not fair, Roisin. You can’t blame Erin for the accident. You know that. I know that,’ says Joe.
‘Calm down the pair of you,’ says Kerry.
‘Tell her to keep her hands to herself.’ I’m fuming. All the anger from ten years ago comes rushing back to join forces with the anger I’m feeling now. Kerry is still holding onto me. I shrug his hands from my arms, but he pulls me closer. He kisses my head and mutters soothing words, like he might if Storm or Breeze needed calming. It has the desired effect after a minute or so. ‘I’m okay,’ I say. ‘Honest, I have it under control.’ I go over to Sophie and reassure her with words and another hug. I feel ashamed that I let things get out of hand in front of her. She has had enough to deal with.