“No. I wanted to prove a point.”
That you have the power to gut me? “B-but you didn’t know I’d be here.”
“I knew.”
“Zee,” Lizzie urges from somewhere behind me. “Please don’t listen to anything he says.”
“Can we talk about this in private?” Alec asks.
“I’ve heard enough,” I tell him.
“I did this for you. You’ll understand once I can explain.” He drops his voice so that only I can hear. “I love you, Zephyr.”
Love? The word cuts quick, a whip sliced through flesh. How can any of this be love? “What I saw. You and her”—I huff out air, my head spinning—“you wanted me to see that?”
“I wanted you to know how it feels.”
“I trusted you.” And then, as pieces fall into place, as my mind and heart sync with the madness of this scene: “I changed my life for you.”
“Don’t, Zephyr, please.”
“Me don’t?” I say, but then I am torn from my spot. Lizzie. Pulling me from behind.
My body breathes without my permission for a swell of minutes.
Clarity builds slowly. Oh god, what have I done?
Only feet from me, Gregg towers over Alec, their faces close. He threatens something I can’t hear. Alec throws up his arms.
“We need to get out of here.” Lizzie yanks me hard enough to make me stumble. She bodyguards me through the crowd that splits with curiosity. We walk across the frozen ground. She sets me into the car, closes my door.
Alec had wanted me to see. Wanted me to hear.
He’d planned this.
Specifically to hurt me?
When we turn onto the crossroad, Lizzie asks if I’m all right. Her grip moves from the stick shift to my knee. The light, unexpected pressure feels foreign, as if I haven’t yet returned to my body. I press my temple to the passenger side window while my brain replays every gruesome second of the past ten minutes of my life. I struggle to keep from puking but can’t. I bark at Lizzie to pull over and open my door just in time to spray vomit onto the side of the road.
Chapter 28
My phone rings seven times on the way to Lizzie’s.
“You should turn it off.” Lizzie’s eyes scan me as she drives.
But I don’t. I squeeze my phone in my palm, hoping the pinch of skin will wake me from this nightmare.
In Lizzie’s room, I collapse onto her mattress, let it absorb my weight. I hear the door latch softly before Lizzie kneels at the side of the bed.
“Can I get you anything?”
My tongue is too thick to answer. My head shakes out a small no.
“Zephyr, what was that?” Lizzie’s voice fractures as if her words have taken on my pain.
“Do you think he . . . that they . . . you know?”
Lizzie tries to squeeze back a troubled look. “Honestly? It kills me to say this, but I don’t know. Maybe. I’m so sorry, Zee.”
My head clutters with Alec and that girl having sex at the construction site. In his bedroom. His car.
“I wish I could make this better for you, Zee.” Lizzie’s phone vibrates then and she reads the text, fingers a response. The phone buzzes again and Lizzie turns the screen to me.
Gregg: Are u with Zeph?
Lizzie: At my house.
Gregg: Take care of her Lizzie. I’m here. For anything.
The exchange mines tears from the deepest parts of my heart. Lizzie’s protectiveness, Gregg’s loyalty, all things I’ve never had to question. All the things I’ve taken for granted lately.
I press myself into the minutes of yesterday, how close Alec and I were. He’d promised me a future, given me a glimpse. I’d given him everything in return.
So why would he do this to me? Why did he want me to see him with another girl?
My phone rings: Maroon 5. “Sugar.” Yes please/Won’t you come and put it down on me?
Lizzie grabs it, flicks the screen to answer. “I think I speak for Zephyr when I say you can lose this number.” She disconnects, chucks the phone onto the comforter where it jumps once softly before settling onto its face. It sings again almost immediately.
Lizzie catches my mournful stare. “Oh Zephyr, you cannot seriously want to talk to him.”
“I don’t know what I want.” I brush a tear from the corner of my eye, biting back the torrent that’s building. “He said he could explain.”
“Explain why he was with another girl? What possible explanation would you accept?”
“I don’t know, Lizzie.” Tears lick my words. “I just can’t figure out why he’d want me to see them together.”
“It sounds like a bullshit line he thought would save his ass after he got caught.”