My eyes dart open to the dark room as his teeth open my skirt’s side zipper slowly, methodically. I feel the metal open, catch by catch. Then he’s slipping the skirt down over the spiked rise of my hips and letting it drop to the floor.
I should tell him to stop. I want to tell him to stop. But I don’t want him to stop. Not yet.
I step out of my skirt. He guides me to the bed.
He kisses me, reclines me onto my back before his fingers brush the inside curve of my knee, the soft length of my inner thigh. My back arches. My hands search for fabric, anything to steady my whirling head.
Oh god.
And then, he stops. My breath is ragged, wanting. Alec stands over me, studying me. He hooks a finger through the spaghetti string of my underwear and tugs. “Do you think you need these?” There’s a laugh sitting under his words, but it’s mixed with something darker. A desire for more?
My body stiffens. Does he want to have sex? Here? Now? I am so not ready. I shuffle back on the bed. Suddenly, the music outside our door is too loud. The pressure too great. “Alec, I can’t . . .”
“Can’t what? Feel good?” He steadies me, studies me. “That’s all I want for you, Zephyr. I’ll stop if you want me to . . .”
“No.” The word is out before I can stop it. And I don’t want to take it back.
Alec plays with the side string of my underwear. “Would it be all right if I took these off?”
I nod because anticipation wins out over fear.
He tugs and my hip wrenches toward him with the force. Material splits. One side, then the other. Ecstasy floods through me in a flash of endless, soaring white. He slips the material from my body. I watch him ball the severed cotton in his palm and tuck it into his back pocket.
He crawls slowly over my body, lies next to me. I feel his fingers at my temple. The way he softly brushes the curls from my forehead. “I want more than ten minutes.”
“What?” My head is spinning. My mouth dry.
“Our time’s up. Your friend is waiting.”
Lizzie. Shit. The real world. Part of me wants to cancel my plans and stay here forever. And the whole of me pulses with the echo of Alec, the want I have for him.
“Do you think it would be okay if I helped you dress?”
I nod, wanting his hands on me still.
Alec is so delicate as he guides my legs through my skirt. He helps me to stand, fastens the clasp of my skirt. “You go out first,” he says. “I’ll hang back for five.”
He opens the door and a jolt of bright light spills in from the hallway. Muffled conversations fill my ears. I hear chanting, a piercing squeal. Then the laughter. A house full of laughter.
My knees quiver and I have to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. Until I am almost outside. Until Gregg bumps into me. He sidesteps, registers my flushed face.
“Seriously, Zephyr?”
Gregg stands before me, judging me. But I don’t care. I am trapped by the undertow that is Alec and how I want it to drag me under and bury me with its force. I didn’t know a person could make another person feel like this. And I won’t let Gregg make me feel guilty about it.
I move past him and step outside. The cool night air eddies around me as if I’m drunk. Through my haze I spot Lizzie’s car, engine running. Inside the cabin the dim overhead light seems too bright and I squint against its glare.
She snickers. “I see our little pit stop was worth it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you have total sex hair.”
My fingers rise to my hair, try to smooth down my curls.
“Did you . . . ?”
“No! God Lizzie!”
She gives a short laugh and shakes her head.
By the time we reach her house, I can almost think clearly again. Lizzie gets a phone call from Jason and chats with him as she unpacks an enormous bag of snacks onto her kitchen island, filling a mixing bowl with gummy worms and M&M’s. I head to the bathroom.
I lift my skirt and search my hipbone for the pinch I feel there.
There’s a cut.
Thin as a whisper but warm and fresh red.
Alec’s watch must have nicked me.
I press my finger across the cut and it reopens. The tiniest red river of blood.
Alec has marked me.
I let go of a small grin, one so secret I’d only show it to the mirror. And my reflection returns the smile, proud of this new version of me made more alive by Alec.
When I join Lizzie on the couch, my phone buzzes. A text from Alec: Ten minutes isn’t enough.
Chapter 15
I’m grateful Lizzie has plans with Jason today. She drops me at my house so I have time to shower and change before heading to the mall with Alec. He needs a new pair of sunglasses and the process is akin to picking out a prom dress. There are a lot of choices. When he finally finds the right pair, we get ice cream and talk about hockey, next year, his signature take on pesto sauce, how much he envied Lizzie being my overnight host. I fear there aren’t enough minutes in the universe to share all the things I want to share with Alec.