“How terrible. Poor Michael.”
“To lose your wife and then your children. He might be a dullard but he’s a good father.” She handed Ava the cup of tea. “Sure you don’t want me to add a little brandy?” Ava shook her head. Brandy couldn’t cure the pain in her heart.
“I’m rather relieved, actually,” said Ava, thinking of herself. “I don’t think I could understand a woman who leaves her four children. However in love she is, surely the greater part of her heart resides with them.”
“Love can be a terrible thing. It clouds one’s judgment. In the throes of passion it’s probably quite easy to forget one’s children.” No it isn’t, Ava thought to herself. Even Jean-Paul’s kisses couldn’t distract her from her love for Archie, Angus and Poppy. But she kept her thoughts to herself. “I don’t blame her running off with a dashing South African though. Michael’s a real old fart. Nice but very boring. You can tell just from his face that he’s never had a really good laugh.”
“She chose him,” said Ava.
“She made a mistake.”
“But it was her choice. She should live with it.”
Toddy looked at her friend in bewilderment. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I do,” she said emphatically. “She shouldn’t break up a family and five people’s lives for her own happiness. It’s selfish. Compromises have to be made. For the sake of her children she should have stayed.”
“You sound like your mother.”
“Do I?”
“Yes. It’s not like you to be so judgmental. Surely, if the poor girl’s miserable it’s better for all of them if she leaves.”
“She should make the best of it. Those children depend on her.”
“They’ll get over it.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. They’ll never get over it. It’s no coincidence that the first question every therapist asks is ‘tell me about your childhood?’ The foundation blocks are deeply important. Crack those and you jeopardize their entire future.”
“You’ve been spending too much time with Verity.”
“I don’t always agree with my mother, but in this case, I think I do.” She looked up at Toddy and narrowed her eyes. “Could you leave your children for a man?”
“He’d have to be one hell of a man.”
“I’m serious.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think one can speculate. If I find myself in danger of doing a Daisy, I’ll call you and we can discuss it. Perhaps you’ll be a little kinder to me.”
“I wouldn’t. I’d be thinking of the twins. Personally, I couldn’t. I can tell you that now. I really couldn’t, not even for one hell of a man.” She lowered her eyes and stared into her tea. “I couldn’t bear to hurt Phillip either. He’s so good to me.”
“You’re really not yourself today, Ava,” said Toddy, drawing her chair closer. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
“No,” she replied hastily, shaking her head. “I’m feeling weepy for no reason. It’s the prettiest time of year and I feel low. Silly really. Not like me at all.”
“Hormonal,” said Toddy knowingly.
“Yes, that must be it.”
“The monthly blues.”
“Poor Daisy Hopeton and those dear children. It breaks my heart. She will never be happy. How can she be, out of the mess she has made? I wouldn’t want that on my conscience.”
“Let’s go for a ride,” said Toddy, draining her coffee cup. “It’ll do us both good. The wind in your hair, the smell of spring in the air, galloping over the hills. Come on!”
Ava borrowed a pair of boots and a hat and took to the hills with Toddy. Her friend was right, up there she could see for miles and the leaden feeling in her heart slowly grew lighter. As much as she pitied Daisy Hopeton and disapproved of her actions, she couldn’t help but feel jealous that she had done what Ava herself would never have the courage to do. Daisy would return to her lover in South Africa and no doubt she’d bring the children with her. Daisy would have her cake and eat it in great big mouthfuls. Ava would never know how such a cake tasted.
The following weekend it snowed. The cold almost silenced the birds. Ava threw bread onto the lawn and broke the ice on the birdbath. The starlings and cock chaffinches looked so pretty in their new spring coats, flying down to eat the crumbs. By midmorning the sun had melted most of the snow away, except under the bushes and in the shadows of the trees where it still remained cold. The dogs rolled about in it and the children tried to make a snowman, but by lunchtime he was a sorry heap of sticks and slush. As the days progressed the weather grew warmer again. The garden burst into blossom, the bees awoke from their winter sleep, and Ava called Daisy Hopeton.