I sigh and look at Constantine. He shakes his head, “That’s not possible.”
The priestess smiles at him, “She is the weapon that was made. She was forged to save us, forged by God to help us from his mistake.”
The man with the white eyes whispers again, “Pull the dagger, Rayne. Kill her.”
I scowl at him, “I have no dagger.” I wish he would shut up.
The priestess smiles, not realizing I am not talking to her. “Of course not, we will wait for the humans to suffer through the last horseman, and then we shall take you to the place you were birthed the first time.”
The man with the white eyes shouts at me, making me jump. “PULL THE DAGGER, RAYNE!”
I look at Constantine and suddenly I see it. The dagger. Of course.
He looks at me, trying hard not to look at the lady. I bite my lip, “Do you love me?”
Constantine nods, “More than anything.”
“Pull your name from my heart.”
He looks disgusted, “What?”
“Ellie, the dagger you put in Ellie.”
The lady scowls, “What is an Ellie?”
I smile at her, trying to stay patient when I am ready to run after my mother. “I am an Ellie. Once upon a time, I was called Ellie. I loved a man with my whole heart and I gave it to him. Then I was born again, I fell in love with another man, and I gave him my whole heart, not knowing it belonged to another man from another life. To save the world, I had to give up the first man and sacrifice my love for him. Sacrifice is the only way to save the world.”
She looks confused but Constantine looks devastated. He shakes his head, “No. Why, my love?”
I can feel the tears in my eyes, but my heart is empty of the pain. He tears open his own shirt and suddenly the word—the name Ellie, is there. It shines in the light of the crystal palace. He grabs my hands, “You take mine.”
I can’t. The tears blind me, but I feel him push my hand into his chest. I feel the hilt of the dagger in my hand. I cry out, “Please, no. Take mine.”
His face is one of agonizing betrayal. He shakes his head, shoving me back. He screams as I am freed from his chest, me and the dagger.
I turn, holding the trembling blade in my hand. The priestess cries out, “You cannot have that in here! There are no weapons in the garden! How have you brought that here?”
I sniffle, “I cannot help you. I have to help my people.”
Her blue eyes go wide, “We are your people. You were born here in the garden, we loved you first.”
I shake my head, “I can’t help you. What do I do? How do I stop her? How do I stop the horsemen?”
Her lip twists into a hateful look. So much for Constantine’s theory on them being positive all the time.
“Swear you will stay here to be with us and help us, and I will tell your friends how to save the humans. But the light must stay here with us.”
I shake my head, “What can you do with the light? What good is it if the whole world is burned and destroyed?”
She laughs, it’s almost a cackle. She looks at the others like her. They laugh nervously, staring at my blade. “The angels stand no chance against it. It opens the heavens and takes everyone home.”
I look at Constantine, “I’m going after her.”
He nods. I look at Mona, “You coming?”
She doesn’t move. She doesn’t look at me. She and the man are lost in each other’s stare.
The lady snarls, “You make that deal with me, or I will kill them both.”
I shake my head, “No, you won’t. You don’t commit sins and they are innocent.”
She steps closer to me, “You misunderstand. I believe my cause is just.”
My hand flies, all on it’s own. I don’t have the strength or the care to stop myself. The white-eyed man laughs in an evil tone that sounds like a cackle. The priestess gags and chokes as the silver blade slides into her abdomen. I hear gasps and people crying out, but they do not move on me. The man next to Constantine, the beautiful man, turns his face from Mona finally. He smiles, “Goodbye, mother.” His bright-blue eyes flicker to me, “Thank you, savior. You will find your mother at the gate, if your hurry. Then we can both be free of the horrors they bring.”
I look at Constantine, my heart is pounding. The lady drops to her knees, blue blood spills from her lips as if it were ink.
Constantine grabs my hand, “FLY NOW!”
I open my mouth to argue but my feet move back. I pull the dagger from her stomach as I back away.
I look down at my feet as they turn. A single tear drops from Constantine’s left eye. He offers me something that resembles a smile, “A deal made beyond the gate is a deal sealed. You promised you would fly.”
My feet drag me to the window. I cry out, “NOOOOOO!” My wings rip from my back. I scream, forcing them hurts even more. I fling myself from the window and instantly start to fly. I soar over the town until I see her. I lower in my flight as if on autopilot.
As I get on top of my fleeing mother, I kick my feet out hitting her in the shoulder. She lands hard to the ground. I can barely keep control of myself. Liana and Ezara are there in my mind.
Lillith stumbles as I land on my feet. I hold the dagger out, feeling the blue blood of the dying lady slither down the blade and hilt.
Lillith looks at the blood “You did it. I was trying to tell you, she is an evil queen. She wants the world for herself. Her motives are driven by her hatred of mankind and God. They tricked me, using the man you saw there. He was so beautiful, I believed he loved me…”
I hold the blade up, “SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” I feel like I am going crazy. Tears pour from my face, “You left me. You let him kill me, not once, not twice, not even three times, but four. You let them torture me, your own child. You let them hurt me over and over, and you never came for me.” I lower the blade, “You never came for me.”
She starts to cry, “He tricked me, Liana. He tricked me into believing we could save you. But it wasn’t true and my heart was broken. I loved you. I swear I did.”
“THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED FOR ME!
She shakes her head, “I could not. I had fallen, my soul was tarnished.”
“Oh bullshit! You could have sacrificed yourself and spared me! God would have forgiven you!”
She backs away from me, and in the bushes I can see the gate. She turns and runs for it, but I manage to grab her arm.
She turns, desperate, “We can still win this, you and me. You and me can still win this and be together, just like you always wanted.”
I shove her, “The difference between you and me, Lillith, is I already died four times for you. I already proved I have what it takes inside of me to sacrifice. I just sacrificed hundreds of years worth of love and devotion. I just sacrificed a friendship worth more to me than you ever could be. I have given all I have to him and you and God and the people.” I step closer to her, seeing something on the shores of the riverbank that she does not. She lifts a hand to strike me but the twitchy redhead upon the shore with the white dress grabs Lillith’s arm first. She tilts Lillith’s head to the side, and in her singsong voice she whispers, “She is ready to give herself to you, sister.”
I don’t think. I don’t let myself. I just swing once, hard. The blade that used to hold my name in someone’s heart, slices the throat of the woman I only ever wanted to have love me.
I drop to my knees, sobbing and broken as something inside of me snaps. A great and powerful pain erupts. Me and the other four girls all feel the same loss. It cripples me. She looks at me from the puddle of blood and smiles, “I forgive you.” The nixie drag her from the gate. I pull my arm back and swing, separating her head from her shoulders. She becomes a pile of feathers, white feathers. I drop into them, like I am falling into a pile of leaves, and sob.
I close my eyes and beg God to just do the rest for me. I haven’t got an ounce of whatever I need left in me.
Four
Fingers stroke my cheeks; they’re hers. I would know the softness of them anywhere. Not to mention, the air around me smells like her. I smile into the stroke but suddenly the memory of slaying my mother comes back. On some level, I feel sick for calling Lillith my mother when I have Willow. I open my eyes, seeing her beautiful face and force a smile on my lips.
Willow shakes her head, “My Nene, you don’t have to pretend with me. Cry, let it out.”
Tears fill my eyes, “All I do is cry. I cry every day now.”
She smiles softly, “It’s a release, my love. It’s a way for us to rid ourselves of the pain and sorrow we are stuck with. Let it out, it blocks your chi.”
I snort, sniffling and wiping my tears away. She smiles, “She forgives you, Rayne. That’s the important thing.”
I feel anger claiming my face, “I don’t care about her. I don’t care if she forgives me. I don’t want it. I’ve never done a thing to her.”
Willow cocks a delicate eyebrow, “You killed her.”
I scoff, venomously, “Then we are nearly even. I only owe her three more deaths and loads of torture.”
Willow puts her hands up, “This isn’t healthy. What abut the Rayne who never held a grudge?”
I sneer, “She’s in here with the rest of us. It’s quite the party.”