My lips are open but nothing comes out. I don’t recall it. Ellie is sobbing inside of me. She is trying to take control and run to him. But I stand there frozen. He turns his face to Wyatt, “Don’t get too excited. She gets one of these every couple centuries. It’s less of a big deal to her.”
Ellie’s pain becomes mine and I feel it. We share the agony. Me and Ellie and the others, we hurt the same for once.
I can’t look at Wyatt. I turn and leave the room, following after Mona. I feel the shame and the hurt and the hatred of myself. I feel it, and though it burns, it is bittersweet. I am grateful for a feeling.
Mona is on the bed, curled up in a ball. She is dialing on her cellphone over and over, listening to her voicemail messages from her mother. Her mother wishing her merry Christmas and happy New Year. Her mother panicking that she hasn’t heard from her. Her mother wondering if she has found somewhere safe to go.
Mona is a wreck, obviously.
She dials and presses speakerphone. Her mother’s voice fills the room. “Oh, uhm hi, sweetie. I am so sorry for everything. I watched the news today and with everything that’s happening, I’m scared that you are dead. If you get this, please call me. I have prayed for forgiveness, in case we don’t speak before one of us is gone. I love you. Stay safe.”
I curl around Mona but before I can help her, the dead take me.
The dream is instant. I swear my eyes have only just closed.
“Rayne, where are we?”
I turn to see Mona. Her eyes are puffy and her face is tired. She looks like she did on the bed. How is she here? Is she here? “My dream.”
She nods, “Oh. Creepy.”
I look around. We are in a blanket of mist. I take her hand in mine and start to walk. It feels like we are not moving, the mist is so thick.
“Do you think my mom knows I love her?”
I nod, “She knows. Willow said she is with God. She is safe.”
“Good.” She sighs, “I just realized, I need to find my dad.”
My eyes dart at her. She starts to cry again, “Really? Both of them?”
I nod, “Your dad is with your mom. He went to her and they were together when they passed.”
She smiles through her tears, “I guess that’s something. At least they had each other and they weren’t alone.”
I wrap my arm around her, “And we have each other.”
She sniffles and points, “Do you see that?”
I look and there before us is a huge gate. It is silver with a greenish hint to it. We walk up to it. It opens slowly, as if a ghost opened it.
Mona takes my hand and pulls me through. When we are inside, the gate closes again. I hear it click and the mist clears up. Before us is a massive forest. There are birds, butterflies, and flowers everywhere. I smile, “This is the garden.”
She takes a deep breath of the warm air, “It’s sweet.”
I nod. It is like breathing honey-scented air. It is summer but lusher than any garden I’ve been in, in the summer.
There is a subtle path in the long green grass. It doesn’t look like it’s carved out but maybe walked a lot. We start down it, still holding hands.
“Your mother should be in here.”
“Yup.”
She looks back at me, “She might be a total bitch.”
I nod, “Yup.”
She makes a face. I can feel the dead around me though. They are there, sparkling. The grass tickles against me. This is the first time someone else has come into my dream, except my mother and Willow. I hope it doesn’t mean Mona is going to die. My mom is and Willow is already dead. I can live without Michelle. It’s a terrible thought, but I know it’s a truth. I can live without Stella. I don’t want to, but I know in my heart of hearts I can. I can’t live without Mona. She is in my heart and she has worked her way into the rest of the people inside of me. Mona is the real sister none of us have ever had. Stella would have turned me away, had I not demonstrated my love for her with the blade. Mona never would have abandoned me, no matter what I had done.
She is solid. Her being in the garden proves she is pure of heart and soul.
And sometimes I catch myself just staring at her glossy lips, not in a way that means I want to date her. It’s not totally a lesbian stare; it’s more like how we all agree Ryan Gosling is hot. Men and women alike agree, he is a sexy man. Mona’s lips are like that. Men and women alike stare. I have seen them. Not just because she looks so much like Blair from Gossip Girl either.
We leave the grassy field and enter a forest that looks magical. I sort of assume it is. We’re in a dreamland, in an enchanted forest or the garden of the fae. Either way, this is some magical shit.
When we get deep into the forest, a woman in a long white dress walks towards us. She has golden-blonde hair and a perfect face. Mona looks at me, “This is Lord of the Rings.”
I nod, “I know. I was just thinking that.”
“Is this still a dream?”
I shake my head, “No clue. The dead are here with me.”
She makes a face, “Ewwww. That’s doesn’t make me feel better.”
I watch the woman walk towards us, “It should. Never underestimate the dead.”
The woman in the white dress walks right past us. She doesn’t see us, nor notice us in any way. I scowl, “Uhm, miss, excuse me.”
She walks on.
Mona scowls, “Snooty bitch or ‘cause we’re in a dream, they can’t see us?”
“I hope the second.” We continue on the trail that is more like a goat path between the trees. Houses come into view. Small cottages. When we get closer, a small palace can be seen between the trees.
Mona smiles, “I’m going to assume your mother is in there.”
I laugh, “I would bet my life on it.”
We walk through the small village in the forest. No one looks at us. No one speaks to us. They wear long dresses and old-fashioned tunics. It’s like Masterpiece Theater.
Mona shakes her head, “Dude, this is messed up. That guy is wearing deer-skin shoes.”
I wave at him, “Hi!”
He walks past. Mona shakes her head, “They can’t see us.”
We walk by them to the cobblestone path where the palace starts. The houses are like the courtyard of the palace. It is an ivory palace with turrets and strange oval windows. It shimmers almost. I take Mona’s hand again. We pass over a bridge that isn’t really a bridge. It's shaped like one, but it's got no moat or water below. We enter the large doorway that is open. The dead stop. I feel it when the tingle in the air is gone. I stop too. Mona gives me a puzzled look, “What?”
“The dead have stopped. They aren’t coming in with us.”
She looks behind us, making me smile. “You can’t see them.” She blushes and turns and walks farther into the palace. Inside is like being in a historical movie. Stone walls and lavish tapestries. They all have forest scenes with creatures and nature on them. The furniture is made of wood but still rough and unprocessed. It’s actually cool to see. It looks like the newest urban trend.
There is a massive set of stairs in front of us. We climb them slowly, our feet not making a sound. A man walks down the stairs. He has the tunic thing on. He looks like an idiot, to be completely honest. I hate tunics. The pants are another story. They are tight and the man walking towards us has been graced by God himself in the groin.
Mona gives me a look, “Michelle would love it here.”
I laugh, “That guy should have been part of that thing she was petitioning about.”
Mona frowns, “What thing?”
I roll my eyes, “The whole free the Hamm-aconda movement.”
She snorts, “Jon Hamm’s underwear situation?”
I nod, “That’s the one.”
“I would have signed that.”
I laugh, “Wow. I never saw you as a petition sort of girl.”
Mona blushes, “I may be a virgin, but I’m not that kind of virgin. I’m just picky. Have you seen the pics on Perez Hilton? Dude. Jon Hamm has a forearm in his pants.”
“You sound like Michelle.”
She glares. I put my hands up, laughing, “I like that we can talk about Jon Hamm’s penis while dream walking through the garden of the fae. This is what I love about you. You keep it real.”
She blows me a kiss with her glossy lips.
At the top of the stairs, there is a hallway to the right and the left. Mona starts right immediately so I follow her. We get to a series of rooms, like bedrooms. They are simple, not what you would expect to find in a palace. The furnishings are the same as downstairs, very rustic.
We turn around to go the other way, but a man with a tunic and an old face is standing behind us. He has white eyes. He smiles, “You have come, finally.”
We both look behind us and realize the blind man can see us, somehow.
I bite my lip, nodding slowly.
“Sin eater, daughter of Lillith. We have waited this many years for you to come. She waits upstairs for you.”
He points the other way, to the other hallway. I walk past him, pulling Mona with me. He stands there, not moving. We continue to walk away from him, not sure if he’s coming or not. I am actually lost in this dream. In the other hallway, we find an open area with chairs and a fountain. There is another stairway. We climb it, still looking back for the man.
“I don’t think he’s coming.”