The Forsyte Saga, Volume 3(66)
‘I could have liked him, it’s such a daring face; but his eyes are frightening.’
‘Have you seen him with the children?’
‘Not yet; but they speak quite nicely and naturally about him; so he hasn’t scared them, you see.’
‘At the Home they talked jargon to me about complexes, obsessions, repressions, dissociation – all that sort of thing, but I gathered that his case is one where fits of great gloom alternate with fits of great excitement. Lately, both have grown so much milder that he has become practically normal. What has to be watched for is the recrudescence of one or of the other. He always had a streak of revolt in him; he was up against the leadership in the war, up against democracy after the war. He’ll almost certainly get up against something now he’s back. If he does it will ungear him again in no time. If there’s any weapon in the house, Dinny, it ought to be removed.’
‘I’ll tell Diana.’
The cab turned into the King’s Road.
‘I suppose I’d better not come to the house,’ said Adrian, sadly.
Dinny got out, too. She stood a moment watching him, tall and rather stooping, walk away, then turned down Oakley Street, and let herself in. Ferse was in the dining-room doorway.
‘Come in here,’ he said; ‘I want a talk.’
In that panelled room, painted a greenish-gold, lunch had been cleared away, and on the narrow refectory table were a newspaper, a tobacco jar, and several books. Ferse drew up a chair for her and stood with his back to a fire which simulated flames. He was not looking at her, so she was able to study him as she had not yet had the chance of doing. His handsome face was uncomfortable to look on. The high cheek-bones, stiff jaw, and crisp grizzled hair set off those thirsty burning steel-blue eyes. Even his attitude, square and a-kimbo, with head thrust forward, set off those eyes. Dinny leaned back, scared and faintly smiling. He turned to her and said:
‘What are people saying about me?’
‘I’ve not heard anything; I’ve only been to my brother’s wedding.’
‘Your brother Hubert? Whom has he married?’
‘A girl called Jean Tasburgh. You saw her the day before yesterday.’
‘Oh! Ah! I locked her in.’
‘Yes, why?’
‘She looked dangerous to me. I consented to go into that place, you know. I wasn’t put there.’
‘Oh! I know; I knew you were there of your own accord.’
‘It wasn’t such a bad place, but – well! How do I look?’
Dinny said softly: ‘You see, I never saw you before, except at a distance, but I think you look very well.’
‘I am well. I kept my muscles up. The fellow that looked after me saw to that.’
‘Did you read much?’
‘Lately – yes. What do they think about me?’
At the repetition of this question Dinny looked up into his face.
‘How can they think about you without having seen you?’
‘You mean I ought to see people?’
‘I don’t know anything about it, Captain Ferse. But I don’t see why not. You’re seeing me.’
‘I like you.’
Dinny put out her hand.
‘Don’t say you’re sorry for me,’ Ferse said, quickly.
‘Why should I? You’re perfectly all right, I’m sure.’
He covered his eyes with his hand.
‘I am, but how long shall I be?’
‘Why not always?’
Ferse turned to the fire.
Dinny said, timidly: ‘If you don’t worry, nothing will happen again.’
Ferse spun round to her. ‘Have you seen much of my children?’
‘Not very much.’
‘Any likeness to me in them?’
‘No; they take after Diana.’
‘Thank God for that! What does Diana think about me?’ This time his eyes searched hers, and Dinny realized that on her answer everything might depend.
‘Diana is just glad.’
He shook his head violently. ‘Not possible.’
‘The truth is often not possible.’
‘She doesn’t hate me?’
‘Why should she?’
‘Your Uncle Adrian – what’s between them? Don’t just say: Nothing.’
‘My uncle worships her,’ said Dinny, quietly, ‘that’s why they are just friends.’
‘Just friends?’
‘Just friends.’
‘That’s all you know, I suppose.’
‘I know for certain.’
Ferse sighed. ‘You’re a good sort. What would you do if you were me?’
Again Dinny felt her ruthless responsibility.
‘I think I should do what Diana wanted.’
‘What is that?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t think she does yet.’