‘Tell me,’ he said, coming to a halt, ‘where do you feel it exactly?’
Fleur laughed: ‘In my head, and my eyes, and my ears, and my heart.’
‘What business,’ muttered Soames, ‘have they to look down their confounded noses!’ And he set off again across the room. All the modern jackanapes whom from time to time he had been unable to avoid in her house, seemed to have come sniggering round him with lifted eyebrows, like a set of ghosts. The longing to put them in their places – a shallow lot – possessed him at that moment to the exclusion of a greater sanity.
‘I – I don’t see how I can take you,’ he said, and stopped short.
What was that he was saying? Who had asked him to take her? Her eyes, widely open, were fixed on him.
‘But of course not, Dad!’
Of course not! He didn’t know about that!
‘I shall get used to being laughed at, in time.’
Soames growled.
‘I don’t see why you should,’ he said. ‘I suppose people do go round the world.’
Fleur’s pallor had gone, now.
‘But not you, dear; why, it would bore you stiff! It’s very sweet of you, even to think of it; but of course I couldn’t let you – at your age!’
‘At my age?’ said Soames. ‘I’m not so very old.’
‘No, no, Dad; I’ll just dree my weird.’
Soames took another walk, without a sound. Dree her weird, indeed!
‘I won’t have it,’ he ejaculated; ‘if people can’t behave to you, I – I’ll show them!’
She had got up, and was breathing deeply, with her lips parted and her cheeks very flushed. So she had stood, before her first party, holding out her frock for him to see.
‘We’ll go,’ he said gruffly. ‘Don’t make a fuss! That’s settled.’
Her arms were round his neck; his nose felt wet. What nonsense! as if – !…
He stood unbuttoning his braces that night in the most peculiar state of mind. Going round the world – was he? Preposterous! It had knocked that young fellow over, anyway – he was to join them in August wherever they were by that time! Good Lord! It might be China! The thing was fantastic; and Fleur behaving like a kitten! The words of a comic ditty, sung by a clergyman, in his boyhood, kept up a tattoo within him:
‘I see Jerusalem and Madagascar,
And North and South Amerikee.…’
Yes! Indeed! His affairs were in apple-pie order, luckily! There was nothing to do, in Timodiy’s or Winifred’s Trusts – me only two he had on his hands now; but how things would get on without him, he couldn’t tell. As to Annette! She wouldn’t be sorry, he supposed. There was no one else to care, except Winifred, a little. It was, rather, the intangible presence of England that troubled him, about to forsake her for months on end! Still, the cliffs of Dover would be standing, he supposed, and the river still running past his lawn, when he came back, if he ever came back! You picked up all sorts of things out there – microbes, insects, snakes – never knew what you’d run into! Pretty business, steering Fleur clear of all that. And the sightseeing he would have to do! For she wouldn’t miss any-thing! Trust her! Going round among a lot of people with their mouths open – he couldn’t stand that; but he would have to! H’m! A relief when that young fellow could join them. And yet – to have her to himself; he hadn’t, for a long time now. But she would pick up with everybody, of course. He would have to make himself agreeable to Tom, Dick, and Harry. A look at Egypt, then to India, and across to China and Japan, and back through that great sprawling America – God’s own country, didn’t they call it! She had it all mapped out. Thank goodness, no question of Russia! She hadn’t even proposed that – it was all to pieces now, they said! Communism! Who knew what would happen at home before they got back? It seemed to Soames as if England, too, must all go to pieces, if he left it. Well, he’d said he would take her! And she had cried over it. Phew! He threw the window up, and in the Jaeger dressing-gown, kept there for stray occasions, leaned into the mild air. No Westminster Square did he seem to see out there, but his own river and its poplars, with the full moon behind them, a bright witness – the quiet beauty he had never put into words, the green tranquility he had felt for thirty years, and only permitted to seep into the back of his being. He would miss it – the scents, the sighs of the river under the wind, the chuckle down at the weir, the stars. They had stars out there, of course, but not English stars. And the grass – those great places had no grass, he believed! The blossom, too, was late this year – no blossom before they left! Well, the milk was spilled! And that reminded him: The dairyman would be certain to let the cows go out of milk – he was a ‘natural’, that chap! He would have to warn Annette. Women never seemed to understand that a cow didn’t go on giving milk for ever, without being attended to. If he only had a man to rely on in the country, like old Gradman in Town! H’m! Old Gradman’s eyes would drop out when he heard this news! Bit of old England there; and wouldn’t be left long, now! It would be queer to come back and find old Gradman gone. One – Two – Three – Eleven! That clock! It had kept him awake before now; still – it was a fine old clock! That young fellow was to go on sitting under it. And was there anything in the notions that kept him sitting there, or were they just talk? Well, he was right to stick to his guns, anyway. But five months away from his young wife – great risk in that I ‘Youth’s a stuff’ – Old Shakespeare knew the world. Well! Risk or no risk, there was! After all, Fleur had a good head; and young Michael had a good heart. Fleur had a good heart, too; he wouldn’t have said that she hadn’t! She would feel leaving the baby when it came to the point. She didn’t realize, yet. And Soames felt within him the stir of a curious conflict, between hope that, after all, she might give it up, and apprehension lest she should. Funny – that! His habits, his comfort, his possessions… and here he was, flinging them all over the windmill! Absurd! And yet –!