Leonora must have drifted off to sleep because she awoke in the early hours of the morning with a desperate need to use the lavatory. She lay there deliberating whether she had the courage to go by herself. The light was on in the corridor and all she had to do was creep through Dickens, across the landing to the bathrooms. She was aware that the floors groaned underfoot and was afraid that she would wake everyone up. Then it occurred to her that perhaps one of the other girls was in the same predicament. ‘Is anyone awake?’ she whispered loudly. Her voice sounded strange as it hissed into the silence. She tried again, this time a little bit louder. But no one responded.
Finally, when the pressure in her bladder won over her anxiety she slipped out of bed and slid her feet into her slippers. She pulled on her dressing gown, tying it about her waist as she silently talked herself into braving the journey. She remembered Alicia talking of ghosts and how all English houses had them and hoped with a shudder that she didn’t bump into one. The light was dim but it showed the way sufficiently for her to tip-toe through Milne and Dickens without tripping over anyone’s fallen teddy bears or slippers. She hesitated as she passed Alicia’s bed and peered at the pillow. Her sister was in a deep sleep, her long corkscrew curls fanning about her face and over the pillow in a silky waterfall. She envied Alicia. She doubted that her sister experienced the same emptiness, the same homesickness as she.
Each time her foot landed on a squeaky floorboard she flinched, holding her position like a statue until she was sure that she hadn’t woken anyone up. Finally she crossed the landing and saw in front of her the bathroom and lavatories.
‘Psssst, is that you, Mattie?’ came a voice from one of the small cubicles. Leonora looked around. ‘Mattie?’ came the voice again, this time with more persistence.
‘It’s me, Leonora. I’m new,’ Leonora replied, approaching the door from where the voice was coming. A girl pulled it open and smiled a long-suffering smile.
‘Hello there, I’m Elizabeth,’ she said with a sigh. She was an unfortunately fat child with a round face and long red hair tied into pigtails. She was sitting on the lavatory with her elbows on her knees. She looked as if she had been there for a long time.
‘I’m in Milne,’ said Leonora.
‘I’m in Milton. I’m waiting for Mattie to come and use the loo.’ Then noticing Leonora’s bewildered expression she added, ‘She sends me out to warm the seat up for her.’
‘Oh.’
‘Well, it’s jolly cold, don’t you think?’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘Where are you from?’ she asked. ‘You have a funny accent.’
‘The Argentine.’
‘Where’s that?’
‘South America.’
‘Oh. That’s a long way away, isn’t it?’ Then she added with a tactlessness that she was well known for, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll speak like the rest of us after a few weeks here.’
Leonora was eager to be liked so she replied, ‘I hope so.’
‘Mummy says that one must speak like a lady. You’re obviously a lady, but you have to learn to sound like one too. Oh, and ride like one as well, I always forget that bit. I’m allergic to horses, you see. My eyes swell up and I sneeze a lot. Mummy wants me to ride, though. All well-bred ladies ride.’
‘Yes,’ said Leonora, trying to be agreeable. She wondered what Alicia would make of their conversation.
Elizabeth sighed and looked at her watch. ‘I must have been here for at least fifteen minutes,’ she complained. Then she looked up at her new friend. ‘I say, why don’t you use it instead? It’s nice and warm now and I doubt Mattie’s going to come. She’s probably gone back to sleep. She does that sometimes. I’ve often been here for hours expecting her to come.’ She stood up and made way for Leonora. ‘See you tomorrow,’ she said before padding off.
Leonora watched her go and wondered who Mattie was that she was able to make another girl warm the loo seat up for her in the middle of the night. She sat down. Elizabeth had done her job well.
When the gong was rung from the Great Hall at seven a.m., Leonora was only too happy to get up. Lying in bed only made her fearful. She had awoken to that hollow sense of homesickness that made her want to cry all over again. So she dressed with haste and followed the other girls down to breakfast. Each place had an apple on it and the smell of toast and porridge wafted up from the kitchen.
Alicia had slept well and woken with a quiver of excitement at the challenges that awaited her. When she saw her sister she was relieved to find that she was pale but no longer embarrassing herself by bawling like a baby. She threw her a brief wave before taking a place on one of the long benches at another table. ‘You can’t sit here,’ said a tall girl with shiny black hair combed into the shape of a helmet. ‘You’re a new girl. You have to sit at the end of the table. One sits in order of seniority.’