The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(69)

She swept a self-conscious glance about the carriage, afraid that her head was transparent and her thoughts laid bare. But she needn’t have worried. An old man smoked a pipe with his whiskers hidden behind a newspaper, a thin woman with perfectly behaved children sat reading a book, complimenting them at intervals on their neat drawings and a young couple had eyes only for each other. She laid a hand on her belly aware that the butterflies that caused it to shudder with nerves were for Louis and for the chance that their paths might cross once again. She had never met Cicely, but as Louis’ sister she might know of his whereabouts. Then her hand rose to rub the skin on her neck with anxious fingers for she knew if she were to see him again she would no longer have the will to resist her dreams, but would lose herself in them. And once lost, what hope had she of being recovered?

The twins noticed everything that was different from the country of their birth. The patchwork of lush fields surrounded by hedges and fences, the hamlets of villages that resembled dollhouses with their thatched roofs and immaculate gardens, the pale, watery sky and the sun which now emerged from behind the clouds and celebrated their arrival by opening up like a giant sunflower. Everything was smaller and neater than in the Argentine and the twins tried to out-do each other by commenting on all the differences in loud, exuberant tones. Audrey pulled herself away from her daydreams to act as referee as her daughters’ voices got increasingly louder and more boisterous as the journey progressed.

The train drew into Waterloo Station and Audrey struggled through the heaving crowds of passengers, holding her daughters’ hands so tightly their chatter dissolved into mute curiosity as they sensed their mother’s ill ease. But once in the safety of a shiny black London cab they began to comment once again on the narrow city streets, the pretty town houses and the red double-decker buses they had only previously seen in pictures.

‘It’s exactly like I imagined it to be,’ said Leonora. ‘Can we go on one of those buses?’

‘I’ll go on the top,’ Alicia interjected before Audrey had time to answer.

‘I want to see the Queen’s house.’

‘I bet I can get one of those guards to move.’

‘Tickle him under the nose.’ Leonora giggled. ‘I bet he’ll laugh then.’

‘Perhaps the Queen will ask us to tea in her palace when she learns that we’re here.’

‘I should think she’ll be far too busy for that,’ said Audrey and laughed, running a hand down Alicia’s long hair. ‘Besides, we’re going to be far too busy too.’

‘What are we going to do?’ Leonora asked.

‘First we’re going to the hotel.’

‘Goodie, I love hotels!’ Alicia exclaimed, although she’d never stayed in one.

‘We can have breakfast in bed,’ Leonora said excitedly.

‘If you like, but first we have to go and buy your school uniform,’ said Audrey, rummaging in her handbag for the letter from Miss Reid, the headmistress. ‘They’ve sent us a long list of things to buy in . . . what’s it called? It’s a very smart shop according to Aunt Hilda who seems to know everything about London.’ She tried not to think about her family who seemed so far away they might just as well have been living on another planet. ‘Ah, here it is, Debenham & Freebody in Oxford Street.’

‘What a funny name,’ said Alicia, screwing up her nose in the same way that Isla once had. Audrey saw much of her sister in Alicia. The same mischievous look in the eye, the same confidence, but Audrey didn’t see the malicious streak in her daughter that she had inherited from no one but cultivated entirely on her own. Alicia could be kind and she could be sweet, but only when it suited her. As there was no one else to play with she granted her favour to Leonora, who adored her with the unconditional love of a dog. Alicia looked forward to school where the choice would be vast and she could befriend anyone she wanted; besides, she’d no longer be under the watchful eyes of her parents. She recalled the Angela Brazil books and smiled at the fun she was going to have breaking the rules. After all, rules were there to be broken, isn’t that what Great Aunt Edna always said?

‘We’ll stay in the hotel tonight then take the train to Dorset where Aunt Cicely lives,’ Audrey continued, oblivious of Alicia’s wicked thoughts.

‘Then when do we go to school?’ Alicia asked, unable to hide the excitement that caused her voice to tremble. Audrey frowned at her, remembering the tears aboard the Alcantara.

‘On Wednesday,’ she replied in a small voice, then pulled a thin smile at Leonora who had suddenly gone quiet. ‘Aunt Cicely and I will take you together. She went there herself when she was your age and loved every minute of it.’