The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(27)

While Cecil brooded on the object of his desire, Louis and Audrey believed there was nothing that could come between them and they congratulated themselves on their powers of deception.

‘I want to take you to Palermo,’ Louis announced one night in early April. ‘I want to dance the tango with you.’ Audrey frowned apprehensively, she felt very safe behind the wall in her garden. The idea of sneaking off into the city in the middle of the night filled her with fear.

‘Oh, I don’t know, Louis,’ she began. ‘How will we get there?’ Louis took both her hands in his and kissed them, one at a time.

‘You don’t have to worry, my love, I’ll never let anything happen to you.’ He watched a small smile alight across her troubled face. ‘Your problem is you think too much.’ He chuckled, brushing her cheek with his fingers. ‘Do you remember when I told you not to be afraid to dream?’ She nodded. ‘Well, I’m not afraid to dream, or to turn my dreams into reality.’

‘And I so want to,’ she replied, anxiety and excitement rising together in her chest and making her shiver in spite of the humidity. ‘I’m worried we’ll be seen.’

‘In Palermo?’ he exclaimed. ‘Who’s going to see us there at one in the morning?’

‘I don’t know.’ She laughed. ‘I don’t know what I’d do if we were discovered.’

‘We’re not going to be discovered until the time is right. In the meantime, I want to dance with you.’ He watched her blush as she recalled her sister’s shameless analysis of dancing. Then as if he read her thoughts he added, gazing at her with eyes made heavy by the weight of his emotions, ‘I want to be close to you, Audrey, and here on this bench is not close enough.’ She knew what he meant and blushed a deeper crimson.

‘All right,’ she conceded. ‘Let’s go to Palermo.’

Louis jumped to his feet, pulling her up with him and gathering her into his arms where he pressed his body against hers, one hand in the small of her back, the other threading his fingers through hers and holding it against his chest. Humming softly he proceeded to dance with her on the glittering grass in the orange orchard. At first she giggled at his impulsiveness but then, when his forehead leant wistfully against hers she no longer laughed, but felt as he did that familiar melancholia that is the weight of love on one’s soul. Neither spoke. They just moved slowly to the low murmur of his voice as he sang the sonata he had composed for her.

The following morning Audrey cycled as usual to the station to retrieve Louis’ note. It was another hot day in a relentless string of hot days. The sky was a cornflower blue, almost violet and the sun seemed to pulsate as if barely able to cope with its own force. The station was quiet. Only a couple of bony mongrels trotted up the track, sniffing the ground for scraps like a pair of wild prairie dogs. She leant her bicycle against the wall and walked hastily onto the platform. Finding the hole in the brickwork she pulled out the little piece of white paper that in the last few weeks she had come to depend on.

Tonight we’ll dance the Tango together in the cobbled streets of Palermo. Watch the clock and think of me for today every minute will drag. I long for you with every muscle in my body. I’ll meet you tonight in the same place at the same time. Don’t be afraid, my love will protect you.

He always signed it ‘From he who loves you most’ and she in turn signed hers ‘From she who loves you dearly’ as a precaution against the notes being discovered by someone else.

She smiled as she read it over and over, running her thumb across the paper that he had held in his hands only a couple of hours before, then she brought it to her mouth and passed it over her lips, closing her eyes as if it had the power to transport her closer to him. Finally she folded it away and placed it at the very bottom of her pocket, pulling out her own note that she had written in the early hours of the morning, when sleep had seemed to her an unnecessary waste of time when she could spend it better, thinking of him. She opened it and read it again, taking pleasure from the thought of him returning home that evening and reading it himself. It said simply:

Today I love you more than I did yesterday, which I never thought was possible. There is no limit to my devotion.

Satisfied that her words would please him she rolled it up into a tiny scroll and pushed it into the hole. She then stood back and looked at the wall to make sure that it wouldn’t catch anyone’s eye unless they were looking for it.

‘Todo bien, Señorita?’ said Juan Julio, staggering out into the sunshine from the cool shade of his office. Audrey sprung around guiltily, hoping he hadn’t seen her place the paper into the wall.