Audrey’s feverish eyes were then drawn to the phrase that Cecil had written beneath:
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses
Mark II v25.
She stared at it as a hot feeling of shame crept up her spine and soon her vision was so blurred that she could no longer read. Cecil had known about their love affair right from the beginning. He must have known too, when she returned from settling the twins into boarding school and Louis was waiting for her playing the piano. He must have accepted it but never given up. What caused her the most pain, however, was the fact that he had chosen to forgive. Her husband’s nobility touched her once again but this time it left an indelible print.
It was at that moment of awakening that ‘The Forget-Me-Not Sonata’ resounded through the house from the piano downstairs. With its haunting undulations and hypnotic repetitions the notes penetrated Audrey’s spirit and caused her head to spin. She put her hands to her ears to block out the melody that had been a musical expression of their love but now had no place in their lives. It only insulted Cecil’s memory. Cecil who had never stopped loving her, even during the months, years, when she had dreamed of his brother, conceived his child and planned to leave him and start a new life on the other side of the world. ‘The Forget-Me-Not Sonata’ now accentuated his goodness, his patience and his pain and tears of regret burned her cheeks. Yes, he had deserved such a magnificent sky, such flamingo pink and slashes of red and gold. The soul of Cecil Forrester was more than deserving. Yet, he deserved more. He deserved her faithfulness. She hadn’t honoured him in life, but she could honour him in death. Louis’ self-indulgent love suddenly seemed pale compared to the deep love of her husband.
With faltering steps she hurried down the stairs as the music got louder and louder, the notes ringing in her ears like a scream. When he saw her livid face and flaming eyes he stopped playing and a frown darkened his face. She handed him the note. Grace watched from the sofa, barely daring to breathe. He read it and the silence was as loud as the music had been. Then he raised his eyes, at once heavy with a dreadful sadness. He understood. Cecil’s death hadn’t liberated them, it had set them apart for ever. How could they resume in the shadow of such self-sacrifice?
He stood up and slipped into his coat, placing his hat crookedly on his head as was his custom. Then he walked over to her without taking his eyes that were once again distant, but no longer forlorn, off her anguished face. And he took her in his arms and kissed her cheek, savouring for the last time the scent of her skin and the proximity of her body that had once moved with his to the internal melody of a love that they had believed would never die. He caressed her features, though he need not have taken the trouble for hers was a face that he would never forget. Then he departed. They heard the door close and shivered as a cold wind swept in, leaving them alone. All that remained was the tension in the air and an almost tangible sense of loss.
Grace looked at her mother then at the door, her face solemn and anxious. When she turned back Audrey nodded at her slowly, without saying a word. Grace needed no other encouragement. She sprang up from the sofa and ran out into the road. ‘Louis!’ she shouted after him. ‘Louis!’ Her voice was carried on the wind and he stopped and turned around. He saw her running through the darkness and his face crumpled into a tremulous smile. He looked so grateful to see her that she threw her arms around him. It had begun to drizzle and his coat was wet against her face. ‘This isn’t the end, Louis, but the beginning,’ she said, pressing her cheek against his shoulder. ‘Spring always follows winter, doesn’t it?’
Louis was too moved to speak. He placed his hand on her head and kissed her forehead, aware that his tears were falling into her hair. Then she pulled away and looked at him with the eyes of a child. ‘What you started with Mummy continues with me. I love you. You’re my father now.’ Louis swallowed the ball of emotion that had caught in his throat. There was so much that he wanted to say, but words eluded him. He ran an unsteady hand down her face, aware that the last time he had cried had been the moment at the airport when he had realized Audrey was lost to him for ever. Now his tears weren’t shed in sadness but in joy. Grace was his child. She would never leave him. They stared at each other for a long moment, unable to find the words to express what they both felt. So Louis began to hum a tune. Grace listened in delight until she was able hum it too. Tentatively at first then with confidence as it became more familiar. In the velvet darkness of the empty street they held each other close and hummed together a new sonata; a sonata for the future that began now with their first deliberate steps across the wet pavement.