‘She is very beautiful, isn’t she?’
‘But Leonora’s got the nicer nature.’ For a moment Audrey looked offended and Edna remembered that a mother’s love is often blind. Audrey was unaware of Alicia’s narcissism, or at least, she didn’t want to know. ‘Alicia’s a joy, of course,’ she continued diplomatically, she wasn’t here to talk about the children. ‘I see they’ve bonded with Louis.’ At the mention of his name the apples of Audrey’s cheeks shone crimson. She lowered her eyes and played with her scone.
‘He’s been teaching them how to play the piano. They adore him,’ she replied.
‘He’s good with children.’
‘He’s a big child himself. He can relate to them.’
‘How unlike his brother he is,’ she remarked carefully.
‘Yes,’ Audrey replied cagily.
The conversation was beginning to grow awkward. Tact wasn’t one of Aunt Edna’s finer qualities, she grew frustrated with skating around issues, preferring to come clean and discuss things openly. So she took a deep breath and put her teacup down. ‘What are you going to do, my dear? You can’t very well go on like this, can you?’
‘I don’t know,’ Audrey replied evasively. She recalled her aunt’s comments on the doorstep the day she had returned from England. There was no point pretending she didn’t know what she was talking about.
‘Is Louis going to stay here?’
‘I think he’s planning to return to England.’
‘Ah,’ Aunt Edna sighed knowingly. There was a weighty pause before she continued, fixing her niece with eyes that brimmed with compassion. ‘That is why you want your own home in England.’ Audrey opened her mouth to respond but her aunt ignored her and continued to speak. ‘You can’t live two lives, Audrey. What will the twins think when they find you and Louis living together in England? They’ll think it mighty odd, won’t they? Will you tell Cecil or live a secret life?’
‘Aunt Edna, you’ve got it all wrong,’ Audrey protested, but her aunt tilted her head to one side and narrowed her eyes.
‘Dear girl, I didn’t come down in yesterday’s snowstorm. I’ve lived too and loved. I know what it is like to love someone and lose them.’
‘Sunshine Harry,’ said Audrey, stirring her cup with a silver spoon.
‘Dear Harry. I loved him more than life itself and I lost him. I can’t get him back. I know what it is like to grieve.’ She placed a warm hand on Audrey’s forearm. ‘Dear girl, what I’m trying to say is that one recovers and gets on with things. At first it seems as if your heart will never mend. You wander around in your own private Hell that no one else can see into. They can’t believe how much you are suffering. But time is a great healer. You love Louis with all your heart and you lost him. Now he’s come back again I well understand that you don’t want to lose him again. But there’s much more at stake now. There’s Cecil to think of and the children. Divorce is a very dirty word and dirt sticks wherever you are in the world.’
A tear dropped into Audrey’s teacup and she spoke in a very quiet voice. ‘I married Cecil because I knew it was what Mummy and Daddy expected and after Isla’s death I wanted to make them happy. I did the right thing. I married him for them. But I never stopped loving Louis. I love him more now than I did then. Don’t you see, I’ve been given a second chance?’ She looked at her aunt with solicitous eyes, but Edna only shook her head.
‘No you haven’t. Louis is a temptation to be resisted at all costs. You will only bring unhappiness to all those who love you. Can you build your happiness on that?’
Audrey withdrew her arm and bowed her head in defeat. ‘I can’t live my life for other people,’ she said.
‘Loving is about sacrifice, my dear Audrey. You made your choice and it was the right choice. Cecil loves you. He’s a good, honest man and don’t tell me that you aren’t fond of him too. You might not love him in the same way that you love his brother, but you do care about him. You’re a compassionate young woman and I understand you. You built a life with Cecil and you have two beautiful daughters. You have a responsibility to them. Cecil sacrificed his own feelings in order to give them the best education money can buy. Now you must sacrifice your love for Louis in order to give them stability and pride. How can they hold their heads up if you have run off with their uncle? What will their friends say? How heartbroken do you think they will be? Don’t imagine for one moment that your actions won’t affect all those around you. Bring shame upon your own head if that is what you want, but don’t hurt those two innocent people. You owe them a future without shame.’ Another tear plopped into Audrey’s tea. She didn’t want to hear any more. Her conscience had tried to tell her and she hadn’t listened. She now wished Aunt Edna would go and leave her alone with her thoughts and her hopes that were fast unravelling like a beautiful tapestry of dreams.