The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(105)

‘What have you found?’ she asked in a trembling voice. He leant forward.

‘I have found that she still has it. She has always had it . . . and she always will.’

Hilda caught her breath. ‘You can’t hold onto a ghost forever, Louis,’ she said, darting her black eyes at Nelly and noticing the disappointment rise up her throat in the form of a rash. ‘There’s no point hanging onto the past.’

‘But I don’t think you understand, Hilda,’ he said softly. ‘I don’t think you understand the power of dreams.’

‘I do,’ Audrey whispered and released his hand. She folded hers in her lap in case anyone should see that they burned. ‘I understand the power of dreams, Louis. You’ll always have her heart too. Always.’

Rose dabbed her eyes with a hanky and smiled at Louis with gratitude. ‘That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard anyone say. Isla was so lucky to have loved you. Thank you.’

‘So,’ said Edna, taking a very deep breath. ‘When are you going to hold her memorial service, Rose?’

‘This Saturday evening. I would like you, Louis, to read something.’

‘Of course,’ he replied.

‘And you, Audrey.’ Audrey nodded.

‘I want it to be a celebration of her life. I don’t want mourning. We’ve had enough mourning. It is time to thank God and remember the joy she brought us all.’

It was evening when Rose and her sisters left. Cecil had returned from work to find them all talking around a cold teapot and an empty cake plate. Audrey had thanked them all for coming and accompanied them to the gate. Aunt Hilda hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye and Nelly was too close to tears to speak, but Rose had embraced her warmly and said, ‘Look after Louis, won’t you, dear. He’s very special to me.’

But Aunt Edna had whispered under her breath, ‘Isla’s eyes were never deep or languid.’ Audrey had opened her mouth to explain but her aunt had patted her on the hand and smiled sadly. ‘Your secret is safe with me, dear girl, but be careful. You’re treading a path overshadowed with danger. It can only end in misery.’ Then she had rejoined her sisters and they had disappeared down the road.

Cecil noticed at once that his wife had let her hair down and commented on it over dinner. ‘You look lovely, Audrey. It’s taken years off you.’ Audrey’s cheeks flushed and she thanked him. Then she fixed him with her gentle green eyes and he was reminded suddenly of the girl he had fallen in love with.

‘Sometimes one has to move on,’ she added softly, smiling at him. ‘I’m no longer in mourning.’ She meant for Louis of course, but Cecil interpreted it differently, thinking she meant for the twins. He noticed her radiant complexion and her light-heartedness and was filled with a fragile optimism. Perhaps his suspicions had been unfounded. He immediately felt guilty for having thought ill of his wife.

‘I’m going out to the countryside tomorrow,’ said Louis. ‘I met a man in Mexico who owns an estancia west of the city. I thought I would look him up.’

‘Jolly good idea,’ Cecil replied jovially, feeling empowered by Audrey’s good humour. Then he surprised himself. ‘Why don’t you go too, Audrey?’ he suggested. If she was distracted she wouldn’t dwell on the absence of her children.

‘Oh, I have enough to do here,’ she mumbled.

‘Don’t be silly. You’ve got nothing to do here. A day out on the pampa will do you good.’

She looked at Louis.

‘Cecil’s right. You can’t sit at home all day and plan the children’s homecoming. You can gallop across the plains and eat a hearty steak instead.’ He laughed.

‘All right,’ she conceded. ‘Can’t you take the day off work, Cecil, and come too?’ she added to be kind and because she immediately felt guilty.

Cecil smiled at her with gratitude and touched her hand. ‘No, my dear, I’m afraid not. But you go and have a good time with Louis.’

‘I’ll bring her back in one piece,’ said Louis but he glanced at Audrey and his eyes communicated so much more.

Cecil patted his brother firmly on his shoulder. ‘I trust you will,’ he said, then lit a cigar. ‘If a man can’t trust his own brother, who can he trust, what?’

Audrey was tired when she went to bed. The day had been both physically and emotionally draining. She remembered what Aunt Edna had said to her and wondered how she had worked it out. She hoped no one else had. Then she smiled as she recalled Louis’ heartfelt speech about love. She had wanted to thank him but they hadn’t had a moment alone. Once they would have communicated through little white scrolls of paper hidden between the bricks of the station house. Now they had to snatch their opportunities, but tomorrow they would have all day and she looked forward to it with such excitement that she doubted whether her mind would allow her body any sleep at all. When Cecil entered the room she looked at him in surprise. He stood there, deliberating whether to leave or stay. Her expression was unfathomable but her hair was still loose and falling like springs onto her shoulders. ‘I came to say goodnight,’ he said, hoping for a look of encouragement from her. But she sat in bed, her features staring back at him impassively. Then she lowered her eyes in resignation.