Her mother, saving a spot for her just two rows behind the captain, waved frantically for Mahrree to join her. Hycymum had deliberately chosen that spot, Mahrree found out later, so that they would have a good view. It was when she was shaking her head apologetically at her mother that Mahrree noticed positioning herself in just the right way would put the captain right in her line of sight, if she glanced to her side.
During the meeting she dared to peek over at him only twice. The first time a large woman leaned over and blocked her view. Mahrree had uncharitable thoughts about her for which she sent a quick apology upwards. The second time she did see him, but found herself so embarrassed she averted her eyes after only a brief moment.
When they broke into smaller discussion groups he sat on the same row as her. The way the row curved, however, gave her a clear view of him.
It also gave him a clear view of her.
She did her best not to look at him, but it didn’t matter because everyone else was. It wasn’t expected that an officer would be interested in an in-depth discussion of The Writings before the congregational midday meal. But from his comments it was obvious he had read The Writings and even memorized some sections. He even pointed out a minor detail to Rector Densal that clarified a confusing passage. The rector had beamed at him proudly, but maybe he’d already been coaching the captain.
That was when Mahrree finally stole a peek at him. He seemed to be looking in her general direction, leaning back in his chair with his arms folded and a studious look on his face. But she wasn’t sure until he gave her a quick wink. She sucked in her breath and turned towards the front again. For the rest of the meeting she sat frozen in place, but something insisted on burning in her chest.
The day after their fourth debate was Holy Day again, and she sat a few rows behind him in both meetings so she could try to concentrate.
That wasn’t the best idea, either.
Instead of avoiding his winks, she found it difficult to focus on anything else but his thick black hair and the details of his head. She had the curves of his ears and neck memorized by the time the midday meal began.
She could still recall the exact shape of his earlobes, and it gave her goose bumps as she walked to the market that evening.
“How adolescent!” she muttered in self-admonition. She approached the outer ring of shops, barely noticing the looks of confusion on the two women she passed as she declared their dresses, hats, or conversation as “adolescent.”
Mahrree did think she heard one of them utter “—Guarder snatched!” so they likely deserved it.
And there he was again in her mind.
Now, there were many qualities he had worth admiring: his quick thinking, his ability to shift emotions, even the way he could stand straight and not appear to breathe for long periods of time. What good that skill was for, she didn’t know. Maybe for sneaking up on Guarders. But it was commendable and she could certainly admire someone’s ability to . . . not breathe.
“How stupid!” she told herself, and three men in discussion furrowed their eyebrows at her unsolicited criticism.
It was everyone else’s fault, she decided as she worked her way through the crowds towards the baker’s. Everyone else brought him up, repeatedly. Her teenage students asked endless questions about him, but they weren’t nearly as annoying as her mother. Just yesterday she came over to ask what Mahrree and the captain did when they weren’t on the platform, her eyes glowing with too much imagination.
“Nothing, Mother!” Mahrree had declared. “We never meet anywhere else. Now go back to your sewing group and tell them there’s nothing to tell!”
Hycymum just nodded and said, “We’ll see about that.”
“There will be nothing to see!” she called after her mother who was giggling as she went down the walk.
“She never listens,” Mahrree grumbled as she paid for her loaf of bread. She pushed past the crowd at the baker’s, not noticing the bewildered look of the baker’s daughter to whom she gave her pay.
Normally the night before a debate Mahrree would be running different arguments in her head. But tonight she had nothing because Rector Densal had told her the topic would be a surprise for both of them. She tried to imagine what kinds of discussions he might spring on them as she wandered over to purchase some early greens, but her mind couldn’t rest on anything for more than a moment. Every time her thoughts shifted, they shifted in only one direction. It was irritating to see him on every wall of her mind.
“Oy! Watch out, there!”
The shout behind Mahrree startled her out of her thoughts, and she turned abruptly to find herself in the arms of Captain Shin.