The Forest at the Edge of the World(166)
“Your story.”
“What story?”
“The one you should be coming up with, to explain why you’re wounded, but your uniform is unscathed?” She raised her eyebrows at him, but she wasn’t suggesting the same thing he was a minute ago.
Perrin exhaled as he stared into the fire. “I was wondering when you might ask. Thought I might have more time, but . . . Mahrree, I really didn’t want to tell you this. I wanted to spare you the knowledge that, well, that your husband’s an idiot.”
Mahrree nodded soberly as she readjusted a cloth. “It’s all right. From our first debate I had my suspicions.”
He smiled. “Well, here it is. You realize that men are merely overgrown boys, right?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“And that sometimes men will dare each other to do stupid things, like boys dare each other?”
“Well, this is far more interesting than I anticipated. Go on.”
“And the later at night, the more outlandish those dares become?”
“I’m not going to lie, Perrin—I’m praying we have another girl.”
“Well, Mahrree—” he decided not to tell her Hogal already knew it was a boy, “—it’s like this: in Command School there was this dare. The older classes would dare the younger classes to run across the campus in the middle of the night during the coldest part of Raining Season in only their . . . underpants. And sometimes even less than that.”
“Uh-huh,” Mahrree said thoughtfully. “I see why women are not allowed in Command School. Here I always thought it was because they were considered less intelligent.”
“Well, Karna and I were getting bored last night, so we started reminiscing about life in Command School, and well . . . he went first since he’s younger. He stripped and ran to the feed barns and back. I told him that wasn’t impressive, so I went next. Stripped down to my underpants, mounted my horse, and rode to the forest.”
“Any mead involved?”
“Mahrree, you know I never drink mead.”
“So you were completely sober when you did this.” She shook her head. “Somehow that just makes it all worse.”
“My horse grew skittish and bucked, and the next thing I know I’m flying backwards in the air, right towards a dead tree. So if it seemed to you as if my officers were trying to cover up something, it’s because we’re all idiots. Neeks was going to go next—something about proving enlisted men’s worth—until he saw what happened. I understand his trousers were off.”
“Hmm. Indeed, you all are idiots,” she decided. “Tell me, does this dare involve anything else, like perhaps a white scarf?”
Perrin swallowed, having forgotten about that as his story had unraveled in his mind.
“Because, you see,” she continued casually as she put another pile of snow on his wound, “I was looking for mine earlier. I never wear it because I think white is impractical, but I thought it might be comfortable to wrap around your bandages. Yet I can’t find it anywhere. Almost,” she said slowly, “as if it were Guarder snatched.”
Perrin hesitated for only a moment before ignoring her last comment. “Yes, yes the dare does involve a bit more. I took the scarf last night expecting this might happen. The actual dare is, ‘Run across the campus wearing only a piece of your girlfriend’s clothing.’”
“Rather wordy.”
“Rather drafty. At least I won last night, since I’m the only one with a ‘girlfriend.’ Lost the scarf, though. Sorry.” He didn’t add, Because it likely was Guarder snatched.
“I guess I should be proud of you. And that’s the story you’re sticking with?”
He blinked in innocence.
She smiled sweetly.
“I just confessed to being an idiot! You really think there’s something more?”
She kissed his cheek. “Have I told you today that you are the most perfect man in the world, and that I love and adore you more than words can say?”
He smiled. “I love you, too.”
“I think that’s obvious. Now, not that I wasn’t thoroughly entertained by your story—although I really didn’t need that image of Grandpy Neeks and his lack of trousers because now I can’t seem to shake it,” she shuddered dramatically as Perrin chuckled, “—I’m merely wondering, how long until you tell me the truth?”
He sighed. “As long as I can get away with it.”
“You have to report this injury to Idumea, you know. Too many soldiers know about it.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I’ll find a way to take care of that.”