I gasp. “Without telling you?”
He gives a slight nod, and I squeeze his hand.
“She just blurted it out and fell to the floor crying.” His face is haunted as he relives the story. “But then my devastation quickly turned into outrage. I get that it’s not my body, Kaley, but to have no control over what happens to your own child is a kind of pain I wouldn’t wish on anybody.
“I yelled at her. I mean, I really yelled at her. It was bad. I threw my glass of water against the wall and it shattered everywhere, scaring her.” He sighs heavily. “I smashed the lamp, too. I’m not proud of it; I was completely out of control. She begged me to stop, but it only infuriated me more.” He lowers his head, his shame palpable.
“I finally calmed down enough to ask her why she would do that to me, but she just continued to cry, so I just sat and watched her. I didn’t know what else to do.
“Soon after, I heard a truck pull into the driveway and saw that it was my best friend, Reed. I told her to go to the bathroom and clean herself up. I assured her that I wouldn’t tell him what was going on. Even though I hated her at that moment for what she’d done, I still wanted to protect her. I wanted to give her a chance to explain herself before I divulged this information to anyone else.
“I hurried to pick up the pieces of broken glass and porcelain to hide the evidence of my temper. She was still on the floor, so I stopped to lift her up and urged her to get cleaned up. Then she looked up at me whispered, ‘He wasn’t supposed to be here yet.’
“At first I didn’t know what she meant. Then I realized Reed was still sitting out in his truck. I started to put the pieces together and asked her why he wasn’t coming up to the door, and she said, ‘Because he isn’t here to see you . . . he’s here to pick me up.’ I asked her why, and she cried, ‘Because we’re together, Elijah! We have been for six months!’
“That’s when I really lost it. I shouted for her to get out and she practically ran to the door. To be honest, she looked like a pathetic whore to me as she struggled with the door handle—I was disgusted by the sight of her. But when she finally opened the door, I stopped her. She had fear in her eyes when she looked up at me—I hated that she was scared of me. But I had to ask the question that I think anyone would ask, even though no answer would make me feel any better. I asked her if the baby was even mine.”
He swallows, taking a moment.
“I’ll never forget that look in her eye right before she told me she didn’t know. She turned away from me, and I watched her walk out to my best friend’s truck as my whole body started to shake with rage. I was livid. I followed her outside—I didn’t want to, but I was beyond self-control at that point.
“Reed and I had been best friends since we were twelve years old, mind you. He didn’t even get out of the truck to face me man-to-man. He just cracked open his window like a chicken-shit as she climbed into the cab. I was about to rip into him when I noticed Mrs. Chapin outside watering her lawn. Tearing Reed out of his truck in front of my neighbors and beating him until he was paralyzed wasn’t going to solve my problems, or relieve me. I’d been working my ass off for my reputation, and I was not going to let the two of them take anything else away from me. My career was all I had left.
“He looked like an idiot as he spoke to me through the crack in the window—he had the gall to say, ‘I’m sorry, man. It just kind of happened. You said you weren’t happy anyway—’ I cut him off and said, ‘Don’t! Don’t you dare tell me about my relationship like you know a damn thing.’ Mrs. Chapin was still watching us, so I gave her a smile and a wave. Then I turned back to Reed—I was sure to keep my voice low this time—and I said, ‘You are a fucking coward. Have a great life; the two of you deserve each other.’ I turned and went back into the house, and he drove away. We haven’t spoken since.”
After a moment, I clear my throat. “Holy hell. And is this the first time you’ve seen her since?”
“Not her, no,” he says, and the pit in my stomach solidifies. “I’ve seen her a few times since, but briefly. She’s still friends with my sister.”
“She’s friends with your sister?” I ask. “Which one?”
“Audrey.”
Great.
“Doesn’t that upset you?” I ask.
“That they’re still friends? Audrey knows I don’t like it. We just don’t talk about it. But she knows not to bring her around me.”
I shift in my seat. “Forgive me if this is too personal, but is she why you got tested for STDs? Or is that just something you do often?”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “No. I got tested right after I found out she had been cheating. And a second time to be sure.”
Relief stretches through my chest, and I take a deep breath. “Okay. So you lost your girlfriend, your best friend, and possibly your baby in the same day?”
He leans his head against the couch, his face is raw, and looks into my eyes. “I was only sad to lose the baby—if it was even mine—and my best friend. It was over with Jasmine way before any of that went down.”
“I’m just confused by you, Slate,” I say. “I mean, you seem so sincere right now, but she was just about to come into your house—with her very own key.”
“Kaley, I didn’t realize she still had a key. Let alone the gall to use it. But look,” he says nodding to the coffee table. “I made her give it back.”
I chew on the corner of my lip. “What was she doing here? Were you texting her this morning? Were you lying to me about golf?” Why can’t I trust him?
“No, Kay,” he says, rubbing my hand. “I haven’t lied to you about anything. The first text I got this morning was about golf. I really did forget to cancel. Then she texted me a few times asking for her snowboard.” He rolls his eyes. “I didn’t say anything to you about it because why would I? I don’t care about her. Anyway, I guess Audrey told her I still had it, and that’s how it all got started. Jasmine’s crazy like that. It makes me hate her even more—the fact that she would just text me about her snowboard, instead of going through my sister. And then come into my house uninvited.”
“Are you dense, Slate?” I ask.
His brows rise, and he almost laughs. “What?”
“It’s almost summer,” I say. “The snowboard was an excuse to see you. She wants you back; I heard her. You don’t have to play dumb with me. She called you ‘babe’ and said you looked hot. And I saw the way she was looking at you.”
“Damn, I guess that looked bad. I’m sorry you got the wrong idea,” he says, leaning over to kiss me on the forehead. “But you heard my reply, so you should’ve known that I wasn’t interested.”
“No, I couldn’t hear you.”
“Oh. Well, that’s probably better. I wasn’t very nice.”
“So, I guess I’m just a stupid drama queen then?”
He sighs. “You’ve dealt with a lot of infidelity lately, baby. And honestly, I would’ve felt the same way. I can’t say I would’ve reacted the same way,” he says with a wink, “but I understand. . . . And if I’m being honest, I can’t stand the sight of your car now, knowing it looks like that because of Bradford. It drives me insane.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he replies.
“I’m sorry you went through all of that. I don’t know what to say.”
He turns toward me, resting his hand on my thigh. “I don’t want you to say anything, Kay. Believe me when I tell you that I didn’t want to be in another relationship when I met you—it was the last thing I was looking for. And I sure as hell wasn’t looking for a high school student—no offense—but I doubt you were looking for a teacher,” he says, smiling a little. “But the day you walked through the door of my classroom, my whole world stopped. Actually, it had been stopped for over a year. It’s like the world started spinning again.” He drops his head back against the sofa and laughs.
“What is so funny right now?”
“I am so bad at this,” he says, still laughing. “I’m sorry. I have trouble explaining how I feel. I’m better with numbers than I am with words.”
“I think you’re better than you think you are,” I say with a soft smile.
“I tried to ignore you, Kaley,” he says. “I tried to stay professional and get you out of my head. My graduate classes weren’t enough to distract me. You have no idea how much golf I played just trying to focus on something else. I tried to keep busy—even coaching the baseball team. But that quickly backfired when I realized you’d be at every game watching your boyfriend play. I did everything I could to stay away from you.” He lifts my chin, forcing me to keep eye contact with him. “I know hearing about my last relationship, and the seriousness of it, is hard for you. But trust me when I tell you that I have never felt this way about anyone before in my entire life.”